#99: Micro Machines

Released In: 1991
Developer: Codemasters
Publisher: Camerica

      Race a wide variety of the collectible Galoob toys across desktops and kitchen counters, through backyards and garages, and even in bath tubs in this highly satisfying racing game. Each successive victory garners you a new Micro Machine for your collection. Fill your display case and win!

Syd Lexia: Micro Machines has the distinction of being the best unlicensed game produced for the NES. On top of that, it is the best racing game on the system, licensed or unlicensed. The game had fun, imaginative racing environments, a nice variety of vehicles, and good graphics for the time. And unlike so many other racing games from the NES era, Micro Machines was actually FUN. Rad Racer and Super Sprint, you can both suck it.

The one thing that always bothered me about this game is that it has a completely unnecessary character selection screen. Why you need to actually choose which kid you want to race Micro Machines as is beyond me, but if you pick anyone other than Spider, you're an idiot. Seriously, who the fuck else would you possibly pick? Walter The Fatty? Dwayne The Cross-Eyed Retard? Joel The Homeless Kid? Chen The Asian Stereotype? I suppose if you're a girl then you could pick Cherry, but that's the only other acceptable choice. Heh, I'd sure like to pick HER cherry. Wait, no. That's gross.

Dr. Jeebus: I was never a really big fan of racing games, and to this day I'm still not unless they have a twist of some sort. Fortunately for Micro Machines (and as well as the N64's Beetle Adventure Racing), corporate tie-ins are an acceptable twist. This is definitely the best unlicensed NES game, and the first racing game I played that I ever enjoyed.

DarkMaze Probably the least annoying and most interesting looking top-down racing game I’ve played. But then, that’s not saying much. I find that the top-down perspective for racing just completely throws me off. But this one isn’t so bad, and since it’s Micro Machines, all the tracks are pretty amusing to look at, including a kitchen table cloth and a school desk. All that was missing was fast-talking Micro Machines spokesman John Moschitta giving play-by-plays...

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