#25: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

Released In: 1988
Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo

      Many seasons have passed since the events of the first game. Ganon is dead, but his minions still roam the countryside hoping to resurrect to their master. To do so, they need the blood of Link. But Link has bigger problems than that. He has just found out that there is ANOTHER Princess Zelda, one who has been in a deep sleep for many ages, and only he has the power to revive her. In order to awaken her, Link must retrieve the Triforce of Courage from the Great Palace in the Valley of Death. But before he can enter the Great Palace, Link must break the protective magical barrier around it by placing six magic crystals in well-guarded statues hidden in six palaces throughout Hyrule.

Syd Lexia: After I played this game, I went up to my room and made little dolls of myself, thinking they would provide me with extra lives. Unfortunately all they did was get my ass beaten down for being a "fag". Aside from that, I loved this game.

greeneyedzeke: Nintendo got death threats because of this game. That’s how seriously little kids and dorks in the 80s took this stuff. A lot of people bitched endlessly about the dramatic changes implemented in Zelda II, but I liked them a lot. Sure, the fucking hammer was impossible to get when I was 8, but I can do it in five minutes now. And the RPG magic system was a great idea that sadly has been shunned ever since because a bunch of Warrant-loving, Max Headroom-watching, Jason Bateman wannabe fanboys couldn’t handle some deviation from the norm. God, I’m bitter.

DarkMaze: OMGSIDESCROLLING!!!

I think that comment is mandated by law for all Zelda II reviews. Actually, Zelda II was a great deal of fun. And while it was quite different from its predecessor and successors… well, so was America’s SMB2. I got to really enjoy the sidescrolling platforminess, and because it was made by Nintendo the physics were solid and the music and atmosphere were superb.

If you’re like me – and I know I am – you also enjoyed getting some of the nifty aspects of RPGs without all that interminable menu stuff. Things like walking through the woods and suddenly BAM! Random encounter! Although I’m not talking about the kind in, like, Lord of the G-Strings. Those sorts of encounters were saved for the “Life Lady”.

Lastly, if you take nothing else from this game, remember to always break into strange homes and talk to the women, because they may be keeping an old man in their basement. And he can, um, teach you things.

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