Spiritual Warfare: A Review by Valdronius
Is it possible for a game with a burning sword on the title screen to suck?
Yes, if it was made by fundamentalist Christians. But maybe it won't entirely suck. Valdronius investigates.
Home Alone: The Game
For his contractually obligated Christmas article, Syd reviews the Home Alone board game.
It's not as terrible as you might think.
Bucky O'Hare: A Review by Valdronius
The Bucky O'Hare franchise was a lot of different things to a lot of different people.
To Valdronius, it was a pretty entertaining NES game.
Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 5
The fifth season of Are You Afraid of the Dark? taught us even more things we shouldn't do.
Unfortunately, there's no Dr. Vink.
Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 4
In my continuing series on Are You Afraid of the Dark?, we learn that Season 4 was fucking awesome.
INSIDE: Sardo and Dr. Vink, together at last!
Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 3
I've cranked out yet another article on Are You Afraid of the Dark? in honor of Halloween. You fucking love it.
INSIDE: My daring plan to kidnap Jewel Staite.
Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 2
The second season of Are You Afraid of the Dark? was way more learny and educational than the original one.
No wait, they're about the same. Nevermind.
Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 1
The great thing about Are You Afraid of the Dark? is that it didn't have preachy heavy-handed messages embedded in it.
Oh wait, yes it did.
50 NES Quotes Every Gamer Should Know
Hey, here's a list of classic NES quotes.
Everyone likes lists, right?
Dumb Guy Stuck In Video Game
If you somehow became trapped in a magic pinball machine, how long would it take you to figure it out? Less than an hour?
Probably, unless you were a complete fucking moron. This is the story of one such moron.
15 Bullshit NES Game Endings
Sometimes you play a game through all the way to the end, only to find out that the ending fucking sucks.
Here are fifteen NES games where that's indeed the case.
Mega Man 3 Sucks
Mega Man 3 sucks, and if you like it, you're a fucking idiot. Should I say it again?
MEGA MAN 3 SUCKS! MEGA MAN 3 SUCKS! MEGA MAN 3 SUCK SUCK SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!
Syd Lexia on Alex Kidd in Miracle World
Long ago, there was a console called the Sega Master System. It was a good console, but it had the misfortune of not having the word "Nintendo" in its name.
This is a review of one of the Master System's best games: Alex Kidd in Miracle World.
Eggplants on the NES
There sure are a lot of eggplants on the NES.
Syd Lexia investigates.
The Winter Cleaning Crapstravaganza
Valdronius decides to explore his parents' basement and attic in the dead of winter, and what he finds may shock you.
FAIR WARNING: There will be
Pac-Man: A Bleak Commentary on Western Life
You know, Pac-Man is a lot like your life.
Oh come on, that lead-in is fucking gold. Just read the goddam article.
Final Fantasy VI: An Epic Poem by Valdronius
Valdronius has taken the second greatest story ever told and made it rhyme.
That's right, second greatest. I liked Final Fantasy IV better.
The 12 Worst Christmas Songs Ever
Here's the obligatory Christmas article. It's a list of terrible Christmas songs. Read it.
WARNING: These songs have been definitively linked to cancer.
The 100 Best SNES Games Ever
Read about Wolfenstein, Bebe's Kids, Pac-Man 2, The Incredible Hulk and all your other favorite Super Nintendo games on the greatest list ever.
It's been a while since I looked at the complete list, so some of those games might not actually be on it.
McDonald's Halloween McNugget Buddies
It wouldn't truly be Halloween without a SydLexia.com article about random McDonald's crap.
OK, so it would. Bite me.
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