#35: Mario Paint

Released In: 1992
Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo

      Nintendo's classic mouse-powered SNES cartridge is a paintshop, animation studio, fly killing game, and music composition program all rolled into one. Also, it has Mario. Always with the Mario.

Syd Lexia: You know, kids today have it too damn easy. These days, if you want a digital picture of Yoshi saying that he's gay for Koopa cock, you just do a Google Image search for "Yoshi", then open up the picture in MS Paint, and add in some text. It won't take you more than a minute or two to do this. But if you wanted to make the same picture back in 1992, it was a lot more difficult. A lot of people didn't have computers back then, and a lot of the people who did have them weren't online. Then, even if you were online, it was through a dial-up service like Prodigy or AOL that only offered limited access to the World Wide Web. And once you finally got onto the web, there was nothing there. Very few people had scanners and digital cameras were selling for $13,000, so there was no practical way to get pictures online. Additionally, personal page services such as Angelfire, Geocities, AOL Hometown, and Freeservers didn't exist in 1992, so there weren't a whole lot of personal pages online. The web was a pretty boring place back then, filled primarily with government, college, and business sites. It sucked.

Getting back to my initial scenario: it's 1992 and you want a picture of Yoshi talking about how much he loves dicks. A computer isn't going to be much help, so what do you do? The answer is simple - Mario Paint. Yes, with Mario Paint, you can instantly draw a Yoshi and make him say all the stupid homoerotic things you want. Hell, you can even animate it and set it to the tune of a thousand cats being anally raped. If that's not fun, I don't know what is.

Valdronius: Before everyone and their dog had a home computer, Mario Paint was a great way for kids to explore their creativity in an interactive setting. Not only could you draw pictures and create your own stamps, you could also do simple animations and compose music too. The flyswatting minigame was kind of meh, but overall I credit this game for salvaging what little imagination my generation managed to hold on to.

Murdar Machene: This is the game that really got me into the Mario Paint series. Out of all of them, I think this one has the best mouse control and drawing features.

Douche McCallister: There’s only two things I ever messed around with on this game and that’s the obvious Coffee Break flyswatting game which got ridiculously tough after the first few levels, and the music composer. My friend and I made an all cat song and it was fucking hilarious. Then again we were eleven or so, so a lot of stuff was funny back then.

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