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Pro wrestling anyone?


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TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
PostPosted: Nov 04 2011 04:29 am Reply with quote Back to top

So I just started watching pro-wrestling again, after a hiatus dating back to like the hulk hogan era, where most of my knowledge of the what happened in between coming from hearsay and very sporadic match watching. Having like only two friends that both watch pro-wrestling and will admit in public to it, I have come to the forums to give my personal opinion of the wrestlers as I've seen them so far, as they come to memory.

1.John Cena-The face of the brand, Ive heard more about him than any other wrestler, and the general internet opinion seems to be pretty well on. He gets a weird mix of heat and pop, with two exceptions being Chicago and Canada for heat and oddly enough Mexico for pop. Hes like an all american wigger, his torso is like 80 percent of his body, and his face turns into a vagina whenever hes hurt. I never see him lose clean, and hes got a repertoire of like three moves(running steroid shoulder tackle, you cant see me punch, and attitude adjustment) which he always uses and usually wins with. Like Hulk Hogan with no personality.

2. CM Punk- I started watching as soon has he did his big cross legged speech before bailing with the belt. Its nice to see a wrestler that can actually wrestle, and is also not a 300 pound juice monster, and hes also a little meta, which amuses me quite a bit. After his half assed face push though his matches got worse and hes got this bad habit where whenever hes in a submission hold he either shakes his open hand like hes patronizing his opponent by pretending it REALLY hurts, or gestures to the crowd like hes waiting for them to cheer so he can superman his way out into a Go to Sleep. Other than that his girlfriend is bigger than he is, and I've heard hes a jerk, but his matches are interesting at least.

3. Divas- Speaking of divas. I don't watch them. First, there's like two. Kelly Kelly, who is devoid of both physical talent and mic skill but continues to triumph week after week over the aforementioned Beth Phoenix, who looks like she could military press some of the male cruiser-weights. Its like a political cartoon of everything wrong with women;s wrestling. Second, no story whatsoever. I could watch TNA, but I'm not really that intent.

4. Mark Henry- The principal heel since I started. He's a four hundred pound sphere of angry black dude, and they drop a bucket of water on him before every match or he sweats like its a superpower cause every shake of his little girl hair sends a torrent of fluid everywhere. I honestly think hes trying to drown his opponents. The internet tells me this guy is a joke, but I don't see it. I cant think of a more threatening opponent in their roster right now, and for a fat tub of mass hes not bad on the mike. Thats in my opinion.

5. Randy Orton- I hate Orton, I hate hime more than Cena. Because the audience cannot get enough of him, despite the fact that he's near unlikable. As a wrestler, hes an jackass like a heel with the five moves of doom and invincibility of a face. On the mike, he's boring as an affectation. As a person, I get serious douchebag vibes, and he looks greasy. I guess people like his simmering rage persona but I'm not buying it.

6.Christian-Hes like the king of jobbers. He's small but he cant high fly, he wouldn't be technical enough to be a tech guy even if that was a path to glory, and garbage wrestlers are dead to the WWE, so they made him the "Canny one", which means he does jerk things before getting the crap beaten out of him. In my short time watching Ive seen him lose in four different matches against Orton, which is still more than the number of times the killswitch has ever gone off. At least hes good on the mike.

7. Sheamus- Their third face not counting orton. He was a heel when I started, but people kept cheering for him on account of the fact that his thing is that he likes to fight, a quality I would think would be more prevalent in wrestling. Cena embodies some of the qualities of Hulk Hogan, but Sheamus is some kind of alt universe version where hulk hogan was an pasty irishman, from the build to the big boot. When hes forced to talk he tells these wierd blarny stone fables, but when he's wrestling his acting is spot on. His skit with Christian involving a potato is worth looking on the internet for.

8. Van Morrison/Evan Bourne-Both are high flying wrestlers that make any match that they participate in considerably more interesting. Both job more than tyson kidd or that japanese guy. I know the fact that they can jump high means their selling is top notch, but its a damn shame to see better wrestlers lose to the dull heel of the week every single week.

9.Mason Ryan- Vince McMahon likes his wrestlers to be quarter ton slabs of artificial hormones, so her's how we end up with Mason Ryan. Hes like a Welsh Batista, he's got no experience and thus no control over his giant frame, so every time he wrestles someone damn near gets killed. The miz isnt even allowed to kick close enough to Cena to actually look like he's kicking the guy, but this shaved ape can military press Dolph Ziggler out of the ring like its no danger at all. I've heard that Mason himself has complained that he's too green for prime time, if so Vince should listen.

10. Randy Orton-I really really like watching Randy Orton wrestle. With a good move roster and willingness to lose and or get hurt, he can turn a match with a mediocre talent into a classic match. Its a shame that his "crazy egotist in mask" shtick is awful, and his acting is as hammy as it gets.

So thats all I'm writing at the moment. Basically, I've not missed a match in at least 3 months and I want to talk a bit about it. Where the wrestlefans at?


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kenthegod
Title: Midnight Scientist
Joined: Dec 07 2006
PostPosted: Nov 10 2011 04:00 am Reply with quote Back to top

Mark Henry is fucking fly.

Also Dolph Ziggler is the best thing going right now.


let's have a toast to the douchebags
 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Nov 10 2011 10:40 am Reply with quote Back to top

I watch WWE every now and then, but not regularly. They ALMOST did something right with that whole C.M. Punk push, but then they completely abandoned that in favor of this HHH/John Laurinaitis crap. I can't stand either of those douches.

Also: Michael Cole. Fire him, permanently, instead of firing JR every other fucking week. People love JR. Michael Cole does not have heel heat. Michael Cole has "Why the fuck is this guy allowed on TV?" heat.

I do catch TNA almost every week.
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Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
PostPosted: Nov 14 2011 01:23 am Reply with quote Back to top

Tna? eeeeew


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Nov 14 2011 07:09 am Reply with quote Back to top

TNA has a great roster, the problem is that they only have one major syndicated show and they don't always showcase the right guys on it. I miss their early days when they were on FSN and the early Spike days, when it was almost all wrestling, it was almost all X Division, and very little time was spent on vignettes and storylines. But even with all the problems they have now, they still have better wrestling than WWE does. I will admit, the WWE has a much better storyline right now, with the HHH/Johnny Ace drama. I wish it was still CM Punk/Johnny Ace with HHH as a tweener, but it's still the best storyline in wrestling right now.
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Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
PostPosted: Nov 14 2011 01:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The problem is the same problem it has had for years. Cast offs being pushed into the spotlight. Sting and Ric Flair main eventing a ppv with hulk hogan? That is not the way you book a promotion. Mr kennedy is an interesting character, mr Anderson as another take off of stone cold is not. When there are plenty of great stars in tna it is a shame that fired employees force the veterans to jerk the curtain.


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TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
PostPosted: Nov 14 2011 02:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
I watch WWE every now and then, but not regularly. They ALMOST did something right with that whole C.M. Punk push, but then they completely abandoned that in favor of this HHH/John Laurinaitis crap. I can't stand either of those douches.

Also: Michael Cole. Fire him, permanently, instead of firing JR every other fucking week. People love JR. Michael Cole does not have heel heat. Michael Cole has "Why the fuck is this guy allowed on TV?" heat.

I do catch TNA almost every week.
Dear god Michael Cole needs to hurry up and die in a fire. Booker T may not be good and Jerry Lawler may not be interesting, but Michael Cole actively crowds out whats going on in the ring. He has to try and make the match about him and his battle with the other announcers, and I don't want that. And why in the hell does an announcer need heat? He's an announcer, he only needs heat if were going to kick his ass every month min.

Ive tried TNA, but damn is there no storyline. I would complain about them shutting down new talent in favor of over the hill veterans with established legacies, but WWE just gave HHH about the first ten minutes every episode for like two months, and aborted CM Punks storyline to do it, so I cant call foul.


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Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
PostPosted: Nov 14 2011 06:37 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah wwe isn't perfect but on other shows they have daniel bryan vs regal, zack ryder (internet champion) going over in the main event, and an ongoing story with sin cara on smack down


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zohaa
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PostPosted: Oct 08 2014 05:26 am Reply with quote Back to top

Team Member: Hulk Hogan, HHH, Randy Orton, Kevin Nash, and Shawn Michaels.
Team Name: The Backstage Politicians

Imagine: They use their backstage politics to push themselves and their friends to the top. They hold all the titles. They have the company in their hands. Who can stop these Backstage Politicians?
HardcoreGamer4Ever
Title: I Am The God Of Awesome
Joined: Jun 28 2010
Location: Your Mom's Vagina!
PostPosted: Oct 09 2014 09:35 am Reply with quote Back to top

zohaa wrote:
Team Member: Hulk Hogan, HHH, Randy Orton, Kevin Nash, and Shawn Michaels.
Team Name: The Backstage Politicians

Imagine: They use their backstage politics to push themselves and their friends to the top. They hold all the titles. They have the company in their hands. Who can stop these Backstage Politicians?


Holy shit, I made this topic a few years back. Like, this was my exact topic and post, word for word. Are you a spambot?


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http://happykatana.forumotion.com/

We have forums now!
 
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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
PostPosted: Oct 09 2014 04:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Of course it's a fucking bot. Bots run this place.


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Methid Man
Title: Spawn of Billy Mays
Joined: Nov 23 2010
Location: Hackensack, NJ
PostPosted: Oct 09 2014 04:56 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I know this was bumped by a bot, but I'll respond to the topic anyway. I stopped caring about WWE and pretty much all pro wrestling a long time ago. I eventually realized it's more like a male-friendly soap-opera than anything else and it stopped being interesting to me from then on.
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
PostPosted: Nov 13 2014 12:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

I'll blurb a few.

-John Cena vs. Bryan Danielson at Summerslam last year was a five star match. Not only was it that, it was better than the match with CM Punk at Money In The Bank. Yes it really was that good.

-LOL the Rumble and the whole build to Wrestlemania completely backfiring in WWE's faces.

-They did do the correct finish at mania. But I think a great closing touch would have been to have Hogan, Austin and The Rock come out and shake his hand. It would have been a great book end to the opening segment.

-LOL the network.


There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant.
 
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Apr 27 2016 10:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

lol people actually watch this


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