So I just started watching pro-wrestling again, after a hiatus dating back to like the hulk hogan era, where most of my knowledge of the what happened in between coming from hearsay and very sporadic match watching. Having like only two friends that both watch pro-wrestling and will admit in public to it, I have come to the forums to give my personal opinion of the wrestlers as I've seen them so far, as they come to memory.

1.John Cena-The face of the brand, Ive heard more about him than any other wrestler, and the general internet opinion seems to be pretty well on. He gets a weird mix of heat and pop, with two exceptions being Chicago and Canada for heat and oddly enough Mexico for pop. Hes like an all american wigger, his torso is like 80 percent of his body, and his face turns into a vagina whenever hes hurt. I never see him lose clean, and hes got a repertoire of like three moves(running steroid shoulder tackle, you cant see me punch, and attitude adjustment) which he always uses and usually wins with. Like Hulk Hogan with no personality.

2. CM Punk- I started watching as soon has he did his big cross legged speech before bailing with the belt. Its nice to see a wrestler that can actually wrestle, and is also not a 300 pound juice monster, and hes also a little meta, which amuses me quite a bit. After his half assed face push though his matches got worse and hes got this bad habit where whenever hes in a submission hold he either shakes his open hand like hes patronizing his opponent by pretending it REALLY hurts, or gestures to the crowd like hes waiting for them to cheer so he can superman his way out into a Go to Sleep. Other than that his girlfriend is bigger than he is, and I've heard hes a jerk, but his matches are interesting at least.

3. Divas- Speaking of divas. I don't watch them. First, there's like two. Kelly Kelly, who is devoid of both physical talent and mic skill but continues to triumph week after week over the aforementioned Beth Phoenix, who looks like she could military press some of the male cruiser-weights. Its like a political cartoon of everything wrong with women;s wrestling. Second, no story whatsoever. I could watch TNA, but I'm not really that intent.

4. Mark Henry- The principal heel since I started. He's a four hundred pound sphere of angry black dude, and they drop a bucket of water on him before every match or he sweats like its a superpower cause every shake of his little girl hair sends a torrent of fluid everywhere. I honestly think hes trying to drown his opponents. The internet tells me this guy is a joke, but I don't see it. I cant think of a more threatening opponent in their roster right now, and for a fat tub of mass hes not bad on the mike. Thats in my opinion.

5. Randy Orton- I hate Orton, I hate hime more than Cena. Because the audience cannot get enough of him, despite the fact that he's near unlikable. As a wrestler, hes an jackass like a heel with the five moves of doom and invincibility of a face. On the mike, he's boring as an affectation. As a person, I get serious douchebag vibes, and he looks greasy. I guess people like his simmering rage persona but I'm not buying it.

6.Christian-Hes like the king of jobbers. He's small but he cant high fly, he wouldn't be technical enough to be a tech guy even if that was a path to glory, and garbage wrestlers are dead to the WWE, so they made him the "Canny one", which means he does jerk things before getting the crap beaten out of him. In my short time watching Ive seen him lose in four different matches against Orton, which is still more than the number of times the killswitch has ever gone off. At least hes good on the mike.

7. Sheamus- Their third face not counting orton. He was a heel when I started, but people kept cheering for him on account of the fact that his thing is that he likes to fight, a quality I would think would be more prevalent in wrestling. Cena embodies some of the qualities of Hulk Hogan, but Sheamus is some kind of alt universe version where hulk hogan was an pasty irishman, from the build to the big boot. When hes forced to talk he tells these wierd blarny stone fables, but when he's wrestling his acting is spot on. His skit with Christian involving a potato is worth looking on the internet for.

8. Van Morrison/Evan Bourne-Both are high flying wrestlers that make any match that they participate in considerably more interesting. Both job more than tyson kidd or that japanese guy. I know the fact that they can jump high means their selling is top notch, but its a damn shame to see better wrestlers lose to the dull heel of the week every single week.

9.Mason Ryan- Vince McMahon likes his wrestlers to be quarter ton slabs of artificial hormones, so her's how we end up with Mason Ryan. Hes like a Welsh Batista, he's got no experience and thus no control over his giant frame, so every time he wrestles someone damn near gets killed. The miz isnt even allowed to kick close enough to Cena to actually look like he's kicking the guy, but this shaved ape can military press Dolph Ziggler out of the ring like its no danger at all. I've heard that Mason himself has complained that he's too green for prime time, if so Vince should listen.

10. Randy Orton-I really really like watching Randy Orton wrestle. With a good move roster and willingness to lose and or get hurt, he can turn a match with a mediocre talent into a classic match. Its a shame that his "crazy egotist in mask" shtick is awful, and his acting is as hammy as it gets.

So thats all I'm writing at the moment. Basically, I've not missed a match in at least 3 months and I want to talk a bit about it. Where the wrestlefans at?

Syd Lexia wrote:

I watch WWE every now and then, but not regularly. They ALMOST did something right with that whole C.M. Punk push, but then they completely abandoned that in favor of this HHH/John Laurinaitis crap. I can't stand either of those douches. Also: Michael Cole. Fire him, permanently, instead of firing JR every other fucking week. People love JR. Michael Cole does not have heel heat. Michael Cole has "Why the fuck is this guy allowed on TV?" heat. I do catch TNA almost every week.

Dear god Michael Cole needs to hurry up and die in a fire. Booker T may not be good and Jerry Lawler may not be interesting, but Michael Cole actively crowds out whats going on in the ring. He has to try and make the match about him and his battle with the other announcers, and I don't want that. And why in the hell does an announcer need heat? He's an announcer, he only needs heat if were going to kick his ass every month min.

Ive tried TNA, but damn is there no storyline. I would complain about them shutting down new talent in favor of over the hill veterans with established legacies, but WWE just gave HHH about the first ten minutes every episode for like two months, and aborted CM Punks storyline to do it, so I cant call foul.