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08/14/08: The 84th article is now up.
Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
15 Bullshit NES Game Endings
Sometimes you play a game through all the way to the end, only to find out that the ending fucking sucks.
Here are fifteen NES games where that's indeed the case.
Mega Man 3 Sucks
Mega Man 3 sucks, and if you like it, you're a fucking idiot. Should I say it again?
MEGA MAN 3 SUCKS! MEGA MAN 3 SUCKS! MEGA MAN 3 SUCK SUCK SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!
Syd Lexia on Alex Kidd in Miracle World
Long ago, there was a console called the Sega Master System. It was a good console, but it had the misfortune of not having the word "Nintendo" in its name.
This is a review of one of the Master System's best games: Alex Kidd in Miracle World.
Eggplants on the NES
There sure are a lot of eggplants on the NES.
Syd Lexia investigates.
The Winter Cleaning Crapstravaganza
Valdronius decides to explore his parents' basement and attic in the dead of winter, and what he finds may shock you.
FAIR WARNING: There will be BLOOD pogs.
Pac-Man: A Bleak Commentary on Western Life
You know, Pac-Man is a lot like your life.
Oh come on, that lead-in is fucking gold. Just read the goddam article.
Final Fantasy VI: An Epic Poem by Valdronius
Valdronius has taken the second greatest story ever told and made it rhyme.
That's right, second greatest. I liked Final Fantasy IV better.
The 12 Worst Christmas Songs Ever
Here's the obligatory Christmas article. It's a list of terrible Christmas songs. Read it.
WARNING: These songs have been definitively linked to cancer.
The 100 Best SNES Games Ever
Read about Wolfenstein, Bebe's Kids, Pac-Man 2, The Incredible Hulk and all your other favorite Super Nintendo games on the greatest list ever.
It's been awhile since I looked at the complete list, so some of those games might not actually be on it.
McDonald's Halloween McNugget Buddies
It wouldn't truly be Halloween without a SydLexia.com article about random McDonald's crap.
OK, so it would. Bite me.
Transformers: The Unaired PSAs
The Transformers have a series of unaired 1980s public service announcements that far outshine the G.I. Joe ones.
Just kidding, they're corny as hell.
The A-Team: B.A. Lends A Hand In The Race For The Formula
So anyway, The A-Team had their own board game.
It was a lot like the show's fifth season: disappointing.
Maniac Mansion Endings: A Valdronius Presentation
The only bad thing about Maniac Mansion is that it ends.
Fortunately, there are enough different endings to keep you playing it over and over again.
Jobbers of the NES
The enclosed article is dedicated to those brave souls who do the J-O-B on the N-E-S.
HINT: Al Snow is not one of them.
Misleading Arcade Game Titles
There's an arcade game called Hot Shocker and if you're anything like me, you're going to be disappointed with it.
VERY disappointed.
Law Of The West: A Review By Valdronius
If you've got a sharp mind, you can talk your way out of any situation. If you've got a quick hand, you can shoot your way out instead.
Law Of The West can teach you how to do both, but mostly it'll teach you that shooting hookers and children is fun and easy.
Sesame Street Ruined My Entire Fucking Life
Sesame Street fucked up my brain. Like, a lot.
Also, I think the show might secretly be run by child molesters.
Toxic Crusaders: A Review By Valdronius
There's trouble brewing at the old abandoned Tromaville Pet Shop! This looks like a job for THE TOXIC AVENGER!
Or something like that. In his second article for SydLexia.com, Valdronius reviews a craptastic Bandai game.
MAD Magazine No. 292: Super Mario And More!
For no apparent reason whatsoever, I've decided to review an old issue of MAD. It has Super Mario on the cover, so it must be good.
WARNING: Actual article may not contain Super Mario.
An Ode To My Black Concert T-Shirts
In a world where repeated washings fade and ruin clothing, Syd Lexia decides to preserve his prized collection of concert tees through digital photography.
Wait, why the fuck am I talking about myself in the third person? Don't worry about that, just read the damn article.
