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So... I almost got laid last night.


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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� &#8
Joined: May 11 2008
PostPosted: May 23 2011 12:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Oh yeah? Well I once had a threesome while driving... on the Autobahn... while it was iced over... after we did a bunch of cocaine.


Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom.
 
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Vovad
Joined: Apr 25 2011
Location: Orem, UT
PostPosted: May 23 2011 12:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

@om*d wrote:
I once got an ex to give me a hand job while she was driving by asking if she wanted to learn how to drive 'dick shift', lol.


i wish i thought of that... you have imparted me with priceless wisdom, and i will use it with great honor

i hope you snuck a bottle of jergens into the glove compartment and busted it out in the time of need fonzi style
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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
PostPosted: May 23 2011 12:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

sidewaydriver wrote:
Oh yeah? Well I once had a threesome while driving... on the Autobahn... while it was iced over... after we did a bunch of cocaine.

That is super non-heinous dude!

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:
And pretty dangerous as well.

Danger is just a word, precaution is the key.


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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
PostPosted: May 23 2011 12:34 pm Reply with quote Back to top

What precaution?


it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times
 
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Vovad
Joined: Apr 25 2011
Location: Orem, UT
PostPosted: May 23 2011 12:40 pm Reply with quote Back to top

i'd say the precaution is puttin the jergens in the glovebox

the danger lies in the chafing
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:05 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hand jobs?

Really?

Come on, at least make the girl do something that you can't do to yourself, especially notsomething that you're likely to do better than she can.
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Doddsino wrote:
Hand jobs?

Really?

Come on, at least make the girl do something that you can't do to yourself, especially not something that you're likely to do better than she can.
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Vovad
Joined: Apr 25 2011
Location: Orem, UT
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:10 pm Reply with quote Back to top

it's all for the legend dodd

or the nookie, as they say
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:12 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I went to edit my original post, and I somehow quoted myself...whoops.

And Vovad, if she can get her hand down there, she can get her head down there. No excuses.

Also...is this the new "Girls are stupid" thread?
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

You don't have much respect for females, do you?


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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I do enjoy their cooking and how they take care of the children.
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Vovad
Joined: Apr 25 2011
Location: Orem, UT
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

i suppose i can't argue with that logic
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� &#8
Joined: May 11 2008
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Don't forget their awesome ironing skills.


Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom.
 
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aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
PostPosted: May 23 2011 01:55 pm Reply with quote Back to top

It's an utter mystery to me why so many of you are single.


天上天下唯我独尊
 
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The Flaming Schnitzel
Title: Tsar of all Russias
Joined: May 10 2011
Location: Minsk, Belarus
PostPosted: May 23 2011 02:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

aika wrote:
It's an utter mystery to me why so many of you are single.


This.


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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 02:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

It's an utter mystery to me that so many people are actually responding to an underage kids topic about having sex. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

/me summons Jeebus


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aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
PostPosted: May 23 2011 02:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

joshwoodzy wrote:
It's an utter mystery to me that so many people are actually responding to an underage kids topic about not having sex.

Fixed. Laughing


天上天下唯我独尊
 
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:00 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Wow, I stop paying attention for one day and we get a 4 page topic about some teenager being a God damn fucking retard? It's already been covered, in great detail, but the OP is a fucking retard. His reaction is beyond ridiculous, and I'm with Kubo that he doesn't deserve to get laid. I gave up reading this after one page, because there was nothing to be said beyond "You're a dumbass" to this kid.

The being said, if you guys were already naked it was a dick move of her to answer her phone, but I know what the repercussions could be had she not.


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote:
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus

 
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Klimbatize wrote:
Color me shocked, but I have a hard time believing JRA of all people can't get laid at college. Mindblower.

I don't.

Seriously though, getting laid is REALLY easy. It's like girls these days have no parenting at all (Not that it was ever hard at other periods in time, I'm sure). You don't even need to build any sort of relationship with someone first. Just go to a party, have a few drinks, talk to people, then fuck someone. Yes, it's that easy. You don't even need to be invited to the party; just walk around campus until you find one and invite yourself in. Very few parties are "exclusive", and even if it is very rarely will anyone ever question your presence. Also, being playfully arrogant and being aggressive (aggressive != rapey) are a big help.

Oh yeah, and use a condom. The last thing the world needs is ANYONE on this forum breeding.


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote:
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus

 
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dr. Jeebus wrote:
Klimbatize wrote:
Color me shocked, but I have a hard time believing JRA of all people can't get laid at college. Mindblower.

I don't.

Yeah, it was sarcasm.


Pretty much the greatest thread of all time: http://www.sydlexia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14789

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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:33 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I had a feeling, but wasn't sure.


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote:
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus

 
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Preng
Title: All right, that's cool!
Joined: Jan 11 2010
Location: Accounting Dept.
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:37 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dr. Jeebus wrote:
The last thing the world needs is ANYONE on this forum breeding.
Sad
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I will breed. Intelligent and polite children.


it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times
 
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: May 23 2011 04:39 pm Reply with quote Back to top

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:
I will breed. Intelligent and polite children.

Sentence fragments make for the smartest babies!


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote:
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus

 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: May 23 2011 09:00 pm Reply with quote Back to top

eh, cut him a break. he's austrian, so english is not his native language.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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