username
Title: master of my domain
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 01:46 am
top ten movie badasses (im sure this will cause some debate):
Quote:
It's impossible to become a badass. If you're a badass, you come out of the womb with a gun in your hand, permanent five o'clock shadow and a thirst for blood, not milk. A badass spends their entire life killing punks, causing massive explosions wherever they go and making the world a safer place for us non-badasses. They're also really useful to have around if you're wating for a table at Denny's.
#10 Charles Bronson (Any Charles Bronson Movie) - There are certain people who aren't that big or strong, but you can tell just by looking at them that they're one bad ass motherfu*ker. That's Charles Bronson.
#9 Marv (Sin City) - Marv can withstand multiple gunshot wounds (including shots to the head), being hit by a car, taking a blow to the head by a sledgehammer and the inital shock of the electric chair. If that's not a badass, I don't know what is.
#8 Snake Plissken (Escape From New York/LA) - The former U.S. Army Lieutent served under Special Forces Unit Black Flight with two Purple Hearts and he the youngest soldier to be decorated by the U.S. President for bravery during campaigns in Leningrad and Siberia in World War III against the USSR ... which has even happened yet. All that stuff is great and all, but the eyepatch is Snake's true badass selling point.
#7 John McClane (Die Hard 1-4) - The man simply can't be killed. You could set John McClane on fire, shoot him 37 times and he'd still find a way to comeback and kill you and your family.
#6 Bruce Lee (Every Bruce Lee Movie) - The greatest martial artist ever that was such a badass that many people believe the Chinese Triad secrelty murdered him with a secret mixture of marijuana and pain killers
#5 Maximus (Gladiator) - Rome's finest warriors and tigers were no match for Maximus. It's just a shame he couldn't live long enough to have sex with Connie Nielsen. Man she was hot in that movie.
#4 Conan The Barbarian - The "Warrior Gladiator King" loved to crush his enemies, see them driven before him ... and he really loves to hear the lamentation of their women. I don't even know what lamentation means, but it sounds pretty badass.
#3 King Leonidas (300) - If it weren't for those Persian pussies with their coward bow and arrows, King Leonidas would've defeated Xerxes army of one million soldiers. He also had a smoking hot wife who was great at badass Spartan sex.
#2 Rambo - For crying out loud, the man is capable of defeating an entire country by himself. Rambo is such a badass that when he shoots people he doesn't just kill them, he makes their entire body explode.
#1 Dirty Harry - Dirty Harry is the original movie badass with the most badass one-liners in movie history. Inspector Callahan also made the Smith & Wesson Model 29 revolver, chambered for the powerful .44 Magnum cartridge popular which is something I think we can all be thankful for.
Rocky Balboa wrote:
You know where southpaw comes from? I'll tell ya. A long time ago there was this guy, maybe a couple a hundred years ago, he was fighting around, I think it was around Philadelphia, and his arm -- he was left-handed -- and his arm was facing toward New Jersey, you see? And that's south. So then naturally they call him south paw. You see? South paw, south Jersey, South Camden, south paw. You know what I mean?
Doddsino
Title: F for Fake
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Location: Iowa
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 03:21 am
That's an alright list...but it's fucking pathedic to say "every Bruce Lee" or "every Charles Bronson". Pick their most badass role, personally I'd say;
Bronson: Once Upon a Time in the West
Lee: Enter the Dragon
I'd cut Leonidas, since that movie sucked and put John Preston/Equilibrium in there..
Maximus is another I disagree with, I'd actually put Indiana Jones in there...save for the last film...the fucker risked his life and never truly claimed the treasure in the end...except for that cross...eh fuck the cross...that's like a 1/6 success rate...yet all the German widows he left behind...awesome.
I'm not happy with Pliskin either, but I've never seen Escape From LA, nor can I think of anyone else at the moment..
Also I'd switch Dirty Harry with the Man With No Name, since Harry wasn't as enjoyable in the later movies, but the Man With No Name went out with style.
Miguelius
Title: Lord Of The Perros
Joined: Apr 16 2009
Location: Chaco, Argentina
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 09:38 am
Are you fucking kidding me??
Knyte
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: In your mom.
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 10:35 am
Also, where's John Matrix?
He took down an entire private army with supplies he stole from a sporting goods store!
username
Title: master of my domain
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 11:53 am
shit, even michael douglas' character from falling down kicked more ass than some of these other people
Rocky Balboa wrote:
You know where southpaw comes from? I'll tell ya. A long time ago there was this guy, maybe a couple a hundred years ago, he was fighting around, I think it was around Philadelphia, and his arm -- he was left-handed -- and his arm was facing toward New Jersey, you see? And that's south. So then naturally they call him south paw. You see? South paw, south Jersey, South Camden, south paw. You know what I mean?
Doddsino
Title: F for Fake
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Location: Iowa
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 12:10 pm
You could also make a point for James Bond, but I disqualify him for shower crying.
He took down an entire private army with supplies he stole from a sporting goods store!
I agree with that choice. One of the channels I watched Commando on actually had a kill counter on the screen. I think it was over a 100 by the end of the movie.
jerknut
Joined: Sep 18 2009
Posted:
Nov 06 2009 05:45 pm
No Dutch?
:notimpressed:
MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm
Blackout
Title: jerk
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 03:36 am
Miguelius wrote:
Are you fucking kidding me??
Yeah, what the fuck?
Miguelius
Title: Lord Of The Perros
Joined: Apr 16 2009
Location: Chaco, Argentina
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 11:55 am
Matrix is another badass matherfucker. He killed a man by cutting through him with a pipe. Now that's what I call a man
Blackout
Title: jerk
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 11:58 am
What about Napoleon Dynamite? Anyone who was gigantic balls to dance like that in front of the entire school is a certified badass.
username
Title: master of my domain
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 11:59 am
Blackout wrote:
What about Napoleon Dynamite? Anyone who was gigantic balls to dance like that in front of the entire school is a certified badass.
i probably wouldnt dance like that. not sober at least
Rocky Balboa wrote:
You know where southpaw comes from? I'll tell ya. A long time ago there was this guy, maybe a couple a hundred years ago, he was fighting around, I think it was around Philadelphia, and his arm -- he was left-handed -- and his arm was facing toward New Jersey, you see? And that's south. So then naturally they call him south paw. You see? South paw, south Jersey, South Camden, south paw. You know what I mean?
Milhouse
Joined: Dec 19 2008
Location: Charlottesville, VA
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 01:49 pm
Jules Winfield. Though, he's not a bad-ass, he's a bad mother-fucka'.
enshinkarateman
Title: ProKing
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: Texas
Posted:
Nov 07 2009 03:52 pm
Milhouse wrote:
Jules Winfield. Though, he's not a bad-ass, he's a bad mother-fucka'.
Agreed, the lack of Samuel L. Jackson knocks the list's cred down a few points, although I give it major props for giving Dirty Harry the number one spot. I am more partial to The Man With No Name, though.
Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday from Tombstone laughs at the aforementioned "badasses."
I suggest you watch from 8:00 forward for a representative taste.
Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us.
Doddsino
Title: F for Fake
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Location: Iowa
Posted:
Nov 09 2009 05:12 am
Milhouse wrote:
Jules Winfield. Though, he's not a bad-ass, he's a bad mother-fucka'.
Agreed
Although for simple story alone, I'd use Butch. He killed a man in a boxing ring, screwed over Marcelius, risked his life for a watch, ran over Marcelius, busted out of a fucking chair through brute force, punch-deathed a gimp, sliced up Maymard and made peace with Marcelius.
Sure Jules said some pretty cool lines, but he also had Vincent there for backup
Adrock4
Title: Gave up the Funk
Joined: Sep 13 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posted:
Nov 11 2009 12:09 am
Marv should've been higher, but nice list.
Well, I thought it was funny.
FNJ
Title: knight in shining armor
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posted:
Nov 11 2009 12:19 am
if I made a top ten list it would probably just be arnold and bruce alternating roles, so I will spare all of you.
