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jonnymorgue
Title: Nothing Special
Joined: Oct 25 2006
Posts: 396
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I have a shitty sense of balance. I couldn't ride a bike because I never learned how. My ears played these tricks on me, and I could fall over just standing around. So imagine my surprise when people in my class wanted me to try the Pogo Bal:
The only way you're getting me on that thing is if you bury me with it between my feet.
Do objects like the Pogo Ball or Skip-it, or such really belong in the toy aisle, or are they elaborate torture devices?
What other activities, marketed as toys (slip-n-slide comes to mind) do you remember either wanting, owning, or breaking?
EDIT: Fixed. Thanks, Syd.
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Tishwitch
Title: PornStarExtraordinaire
Joined: Jul 01 2006
Location: Winter Wonderland
Posts: 1409
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I'll point out the obvious:
#2: I'll blame Tebor for this since it's Chinese Skipping Rope... chinese = asian = Tebor
#3: And who can forget the game of flexibility & sexual positioning...
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Chrisby
Joined: Mar 31 2006
Location: Where my computer is.
Posts: 1262
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I could never figure out how to do that stupid pogo ball thing.
And I have played Skip-it as well. That's shit's fucking hard.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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There's only one "L" in Pogo Bal and those things were fantasic.
Jeebus had a Superman Pogo Bal that got broken after a year or two. Happily, my Pogo Bal has survived:
http://www.sydlexia.com/springcleaning.htm
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Tishwitch
Title: PornStarExtraordinaire
Joined: Jul 01 2006
Location: Winter Wonderland
Posts: 1409
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I totally think you guys should turn your house into some sort of wacky Pop Culture Museum! Call it the The Lexia's Wacky Pop Culture Museum!
First the white xmas tree, then the Rachel Ray cut-out, and now a dirty old pogo bal! Crazy shiate! I'd almost pay an admission to see this stuff! Almost...
EDIT: Upon further inspection of that article on spring cleaning, I think the museum tour guide should be wearing the Transformer PJs!
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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
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...and a Batman cape.
I don't usually like those marketing insults to proper English. Pogo Bal. I want to read that with a short, flat 'a' like in "can". Changing 's' to 'z' and other stuff. It's just.... UGH.
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RIP Hacker. |
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jonnymorgue
Title: Nothing Special
Joined: Oct 25 2006
Posts: 396
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I seem to recall a variant of the slip-n-slide (check my spelling, Syd) that had a gator's mouth at the end of it (upon going through, you landed in a pool-type area).
We were never allowed these things in my family. We had a sprinkler. That was it. We weren't allowed squirt guns or water balloons. My friends' parents were cheap too. Their version was just hosing down a tarp on a hill and having us slide down that. Rocks hurt
We could have NES, but as for having shit to do outside...nah.
My roommates over in dorms a couple years ago had a few laser tag sets, so we'd tear around the parking lot, rolling off people's cars and shit. We also had lightsaber battles out there. After my lightsaber broke, I used a plastic broom handle and put a nice L shaped gash in a friend's forehead. He was drunk, so he didn't care.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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I believe that was called Crocodile Mile.
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Tishwitch
Title: PornStarExtraordinaire
Joined: Jul 01 2006
Location: Winter Wonderland
Posts: 1409
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Ghetto Slip - N - Slide! I love it!
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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
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If our tour guide wore anything (And that is indeed a conditional statement, cause this is private property so we don't NEED to wear anything), it would be the gorilla suit that's in the basement at my work. A few times a year we have big sidewalk sales with books and CD's for 50 cents, and for some reason someone brought us a gorilla suit and my boss bought it...so yeah.
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dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote: |
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus |
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Tishwitch
Title: PornStarExtraordinaire
Joined: Jul 01 2006
Location: Winter Wonderland
Posts: 1409
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I totally think you should put on the gorilla suit and take a picture, then post it here! DO IT!!! That would make you king of the internet!
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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
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With the gorilla suit, he needs:
- A purple derby with a green leopard print band on it
- A purple bow-tie
- Some green suspenders holding up magenta pants
- A cane
Put him in a shop window and the transformation will be complete.
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RIP Hacker. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24869
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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
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Hell yea!
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RIP Hacker. |
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S. McCracken
Moderator
Title: Enforcer
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2171
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Pimpin' in a gorilla suit ain't easy.
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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S. McCracken wrote: |
Pimpin' in a gorilla suit ain't easy. |
No, no, no.... It's "Chimpin' ain't easy."
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S. McCracken
Moderator
Title: Enforcer
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2171
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Knyte wrote: |
S. McCracken wrote: |
Pimpin' in a gorilla suit ain't easy. |
No, no, no.... It's "Chimpin' ain't easy." |
Phenomenal. Entry #2 for post of the day.
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
Posts: 5672
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Maybe it's my imagination but my friend had something called a Dizzy Bat game, all it was, was two platic bats and and two cheap tees, however the instructions never said *Warning do not play in driveways or on concrete. We found out the hard way.
Also regarding the most dangerous "fun" you can have outside (aka Crocodile Mile) or for the less fortunate Alligator Alley, It seemed no matter how hard you searched for rocks before laying the damn thing down, one always seemed to find its way underneath and ruin my day.
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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Douche McCallister wrote: |
Also regarding the most dangerous "fun" you can have outside... |
The most dangerous fun outside?
That would be Jarts, baby!
Jarts (More commonly know as "Lawn Darts") were the shit.
The best part about Jarts was that they eliminated all speculation from true outdoor fun. (Is this dangerous? Hell yes, now chuck it!) And they were equal opportunity: All it took to play lawn darts was a sweaty grip. For good measure, it was also nice to have a small sibling around to stand on the other side of the house and tell you how your throw looked (and by how much you cleared the chimney).
Other dangerously fun outdoor toys:*
1. Mini-hammocks seemed innocuous enough. No projectiles, no lead paint, no sharp edges, and no explicit danger (except sloth). But between the years of 1984–1995 the EZ Sales mini-hammock, oft marketed under the name "Hang Ten," managed to hang 12. CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages five to 17 and recalled three million of them. Among the banned EZ products were Hangouts Baby Hammocks, or "Baby's First Death Cocoon," woven from thin cotton and nylon strings.
The culprit was a missing set of "spreader bars," supports meant to keep the hammock open when it was "at ease." Unfortunately, children seeking to spend an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death. That's what happens when you spend $4 on a hammock.
2. Executives at Galoob Toys predicted big sales for Christmas 1994. With their new Sky Dancer, they would be the first toy company to combine the sparkly femininity of Barbie with the firepower of a bottle rocket. But six years later, the Sky Dancer was grounded. When spun aloft, the wings—which felt so soft and cushy in the aisles of Toys "R" Us—turned into steely-hard child manglers. In 2000, the CPSC announced that over 150 children fell prey to Sky Dancer's helicopter-blade arms and erratic "Oh-Jesus-it's-chasing-me!" flying patterns. Injuries included scratched corneas and temporary blindness, mild concussions, broken ribs and teeth, and facial lacerations that required stitches. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were eventually recalled, leaving aspiring ballerinas to earn their battle scars the old fashioned way, with an eating disorder.
3. The Water Wiggle. Oh sure, it looks like a harmless water toy, but this toy strangled me and practically ALL of my friends at one time or another. You attach the Water Wiggle to your garden hose, and a jet nozzle hidden under that goofy face would rocket the Water Wiggle all over the lawn, wrapping itself tightly around any stationary object, usually somebody's neck.
4. The short thin plastic skateboards. I don't know who made them, but if I had to guess, I would say Satan. There was no way to keep any sense of control on these things, the trucks were so high up, that the deck would tilt almost vertically in either direction. Also, the smallest pebble would stop this thing dead in it tracks, but thanks to physics, you kept going on you merry way... usually head first.
Honorable mention:
Happy Fun Ball
(*The first two toy write-ups were taken from the article "10 Most Dangerous Toys", though I did have lawn darts and that was exactly what we did with them, and I remember those hammacks and how much of a pain they were to get in and out of. I am just not that good of a writer. The last two, are in fact, my write-ups.)
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lavalarva
2011 SNES Champ
Joined: Dec 04 2006
Posts: 1929
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I had a Pogo Bal before, but I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do. Jumping with it was too hard, so I tried to stay balanced as long as possible.
After some time, I could stay on it 4 minutes before it touched the ground.
For some reason, this made me remember I had a 15-feet high basket on my house.
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
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Tishwitch wrote: |
I'll point out the obvious:
#2: I'll blame Tebor for this since it's Chinese Skipping Rope... chinese = asian = Tebor |
I won't apologize. In fact, I am the only person in one of my film classes to have seen Wasabi. Jean Reno makes anything cool. (Off the DDR picture which was WAAAAAY funnier)
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"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
Posts: 2815
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That Super Fun Ball sketch is hilarious. I haven't seen that for a long time, thanks.
As for Tebor's picture, I keep thinking it would be funnier if it was Janet Reno, but that's primarily because I don't know who Jean Reno is.
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RIP Hacker. |
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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John Fucking Reno is THE man!
Have you ever seen:
The Professional (Also known as "Leon The Professional" or just "Leon")
Mission: Impossible (The first movie of the Tom Cruise trilogy.)
Godzilla (The shitty moddern remake with Matthew Brodrick in it.)
The Da Vinci Code
Onimusha 3: Demon Siege (He is in the fucking game!)
Rollerball
Ronin
Nikita
Hotel Rwanda
Flyboys
If you have seen any of those movies, you have seen Jean Reno.
Also, a interesting fact about Jean Reno:
He turned down the role of Agent Smith in The Matrix, in order to do Godzilla.
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Delition
Title: That guy over there.
Joined: Mar 14 2007
Location: A pathetic city.
Posts: 149
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I could never remember the name of the movie "The Professional". I could remember the movie itself; but for some reason, despite the simplicity, I could never remember the actual title. Thanks for reminding me.
Anyways, back to the topic on hand. I hated anything that combined the words slip and slide, mostly because I could never force myself to dive. Hell, I still have problems diving into pools, yet don't know why.
As for pogo bal, I used to enjoy using that, but I believe the one that I had was a cheap imitation.
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jonnymorgue
Title: Nothing Special
Joined: Oct 25 2006
Posts: 396
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I also have some sort of strange fear of falling that leads me to not jump into pools. I got thrown in once, and hated it.
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