The 100 Best Virtual Boy Games Ever
Many seasons have passed since SydLexia.com presented you with its list of the Top 100 SNES Games Ever. The fans cried out for another Top 100 Games list, but it never materialized. Some began to believe that it never would. Sadness filled the land. The world is became veiled darkness. The wind has stopped, the sea is wild, and the
earth began to rot. The people waited, their only hope, a prophecy:
When the world is in darkness, a new list will appear...
But that list never came. Until now. So now here we are, twenty-eight months after the SNES list debuted. It has now been over five full years since the launch of SydLexia.com, and I figured there's no better way to celebrate than with a list of 100 best Virtual Boy games ever. Real fucking creative, I know. I had wanted to do a list of the best TurboGrafx-16 titles ever, but the preliminary meetings didn't go well. There was this whole huge argument about whether or not the list should be just original TG-16 games or if Turbo CD games counted as well. Then one guy kept saying we should include Nintendo 64 games because he was born in 1991 and he had no idea what the hell TurboGrafx-16 even was. Then someone pointed out to him that he could have Googled it instead of whining that he didn't know what it was. Punches were thrown, wine was spilled, and everyone accused at least one other person of being gay. So then I did what any self-respecting American would do in a situation like that: I gave up on my dream and decided to try my hand at something significantly easier. Thus, the Virtual Boy list was born.
I couldn't possibly undertake a spectaculur project of this magnitude on my own, so a team of expert voters was assembled to help create the master list. Some of those people worked on the previous two lists, some of them were newcomers. After everyone's picks were ranked and filed, everything was ready to go. Well, almost. Not everyone who was involved in the voting process was available to comment on the final version of the list, while others weren't invited to comment due to their inability to be sober for sustained periods of time exceeding twenty minutes . So instead, I assembled an elite team of people who I personally think are awesome to comment on the list. They are:
Ed of Dark Maze Studios and Press Start. His comments appear in blue.
Alexis Acid of LZST. Her comments appear in harassing pink.
Valdronius of SydLexia.com. His comments appear in cyan.
Douche McCallister, a moderator on the SydLexia.com forums. His comments appear in green.
Kris Lexia, my biological sister and a full-time nuisance. Her comments appear in nonthreatening purple.
FNJ, gaming expert and longtime member of the SydLexia.com forums. His comments appear in contrasting color not yet used.
SpamBot 5000, a highly advanced revenue-generating ad robot built by Syd and Dr. Light. Its comments appear in goldenrod.
My comments appear in a majestic shade of purplish blue that most humans can't see.
ALSO FEATURING SPECIAL BONUS COMMENTS FROM SECRET MYSTERY GUESTS!
The rules for voting were the same as they were with the NES and SNES lists. Each player picked 100 games and ranked them from 1-100, with 1 being their top pick and 100 being their lowest. In order to be eligible for inclusion a game had to be available in North America and have received a commercial release. Therefore games such as Virtual Bowling, which was only released in Japan, and Star Fox Virtual Boy, which was never officially released, were not valid picks. Players were also required to vote on a game based on its merits as a Virtual Boy game. So classic games such as Mario Bros. and Panic Bomber which debuted on other hardware and had to be altered for the Virtual Boy system will not necessarily appear on this list.
I said this when we did the NES and SNES lists, and I'll say it again now: it is virtually impossible (eh? eh?) to come up with a Top 100 list that satisfies everyone's sensibilities. I have no illusions that this list is anywhere near perfect. There are some omissions that disappoint me and some inclusions that disgust me. So if you think you can do better, go for it. Otherwise, shut the front door and enjoy this article for what it is: a look at 100 Virtual Boy games that are definitely worth playing.
- Syd Lexia
CLICK HERE TO BEGIN!!!