SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic

Posted: Jul 27 2008 09:17 pm

That's right folks, I'm now back in action, and burning with a desire to blog. Why? Because random shit pisses me off and I feel the need to write about it somewhere. The index page of my subdomain is now live here. My first article isn't done yet so it's a dead link, but that should be posted in an hour or so with any luck. Just needed to get the word out there, because the first entry should be done by the time most of you see this. Hope you all enjoy!

dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com

Posted: Jul 27 2008 09:37 pm

Oh.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

ZOMG, it's JEEBUS!!! The Rapture is upon us!!! But seriously, welcome back to action, even though you have been on and off.

Posted: Jul 27 2008 09:55 pm

The first blog entry is now live, but may be updated in the future as well.

Title: Midnight Scientist Joined: Dec 07 2006 Posts: 518

I wouldn't care so much if it weren't for your avy.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 06:30 am

Love the banner. Though I'd suggest cropping the Dr. Vink image from the AYAOTD article for it instead of enlarging your avatar.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 08:15 am

What's done is done, Syd. I already had to make the banner twice because I saved it as a .jpg the first time, forgetting that it would turn out looking like total shit. Maybe I'll get around to changing it, but I thought it looked fine so I'll just work on content for now.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 08:46 am

I would also suggest line breaks.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 09:08 am

There are line breaks. Do you mean an actual horizontal line? I guess I could do that, it's not really a big deal though.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

I think he means spaces between paragraphs.

And my vote for constructive commentary goes to use a serif font.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 09:55 am

Yeah, the formatting definitely needs work. Haddox was my template, but I intend to change the font in the articles at some point. The second entry I believe has a little more in the way of formatting, but my main goal has just been to get content up for the time being.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

So... I dove into the source code because that's kinda just the type of geek that I am.

Since it is a relatively small single page I ripped out the old HTML3/4/?? Mix of code and attempted to help it out a little bit.

The truth is that a single style sheet would work wonders for you, but without one we do things differently.

Here is the code that I came up with. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you'll hate it, or maybe you'll just steal an idea or two.

Code:

<div style="font-size:.9em;color:#C8C5C8;font-family:Georgia, Georgia, serif; margin-left:5em; width:600px;">
<div style="text-align:center;">
That's Your Policy, Not Mine!
 
 
"I never once washed my hands! That's your policy, not mine!" - Abraham "Grandpa" Simpson
 
 
</div>
The year was nineteen dickity-two. We had to say dickity because the Kaiser had stolen our word for twenty. I chased him to get it back,
but gave up after dickity-six miles...
 
 
No wait, this is a real story, and it took place earlier this year. There's a mall in this area with both a movie theater, and a really nice
Italian restaurant. We'll call this restaurant "Vinny T's", so it can retain its anonymitity. I had just had a great dinner there,
and wanted to take a leak before driving home. I know that SOMEWHERE in the mall is a bathroom that is unaffiliated with any
of its many stores, but fucked if anyone knows where that is, so I just went to use the bathroom in the movie theater. Hopefully
I don't need to explain basic life functions to any of you, so we'll skip to the part where I go wash my hands. Admittedly I had a couple drinks
at dinner which might explain why I did this, but while waiting for one of those goddamn hot air blowing hand dryer thingies to dry my hands,
I counted how many sinks there were. There were very literally two dozen sinks in this bathroom, so there was no real danger of it being
too crowded for simple hygiene. So I'm there drying my hands, and I make a few observations:
<ol type="1">
<li>
As I said, there are 24 sinks
</li>
<li>
There is a steady flow of people in and out of the bathroom
</li>
<li>
Only one other person besides myself is washing his hands
</li>
<li>
Half the guys in the restroom stopped, not to wash their hands, but to check their hair in the mirror
</li>
<li>
Half of THOSE guys were wearing hats
</li>
</ol>
It's the sort of shit I'm not creative enough to make up on my own. Now movies are a big date destination, so I can understand this behaviour.
If a guy spends too long in the bathroom and his date has to wait for him, clearly she's going to start to worry that he's sodomizing another guy.
With time being of the essence, these men have to choose between fixing their hair and washing their hands. Now you're probably thinking that messed up
hair would be a lot less of a turn off than the possible stench of urine on one's hands, but if she's going to be worrying about the aforementioned
sodomy, no guy can risk walking out of the restroom with his hair looking like he was just tossed around a bathroom stall like a rag doll.
Besides, all the stereotypical movie foods like popcorn, nachos, and candy may be things you eat with your hands, but urine is sterile. Gross, but sterile.
 
 
So remember, next time you're in a public restroom be sure to wash your hands, because someone's probably watching you.
 
 

I mean an actual person, not like...God is watching you
 
 
Although he probably is too, but people were filthy back when Jesus was alive, so he's probably cool with it
 
 
Then again they do say cleanliness is next to Godliness...
 
 
<A HREF="mailto:dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com">dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com</A>
 
 
<A HREF="http://dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com">Ever seen a sandwich that could take a bite out of you?</A>
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus
</div>

Posted: Jul 28 2008 10:57 am

As I said, I was using the haddox page as a template, but I wrote my stuff in notepad so I just ripped out a lot of the stuff that dreamweaver had added to the haddox page. I'm at work now so I'll see what that code looks like later though.

#btw, I was really hoping for content related feedback moreso than feedback on the layout, as I know that needs to be fixed at some point.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 01:47 pm

Why didn't you confront everyone that didn't wash their hands? Confused

You could have run out of the bathroom pointing at the schmuck, shouting "HEY THIS DOUCHE DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS, GROSS!!!"

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

#btw, I was really hoping for content related feedback moreso than feedback on the layout, as I know that needs to be fixed at some point.

As per several posts during your sabbatical I have both OCD and ADD.

ADD: In this case I saw something and was more interested in what I saw than what it was.

OCD: I wash my hands all the time and think it is gross that other people wouldn't. But hey... let them enjoy their hepatitis.

Posted: Jul 28 2008 02:11 pm

Well you gotta remember what Carlin said, if you gotta wash up every time you handle your junk you might as well scrub it too while you're at it. Laughing

Posted: Jul 29 2008 01:02 am

I like the blog.

And I cleaned up the banner a bit:

Posted: Jul 29 2008 08:00 am

Thanks! I'll update the banner now

Posted: Jul 29 2008 01:47 pm

One time my brother started playfully teasing my dad about how he doesn't wash his hands...and my dad acted like he had been accused of a federal offense. It's like non-hand washers get offended when you call them out for it...

Posted: Jul 29 2008 01:55 pm

Seriously? That'd be like being pissed that someone called you out for not wiping your ass...except slightly dirtier...depending on where your hands have been

....and where you ass has been.