I hate these fuckers. If any of you here are door to door salesmen, sorry, but this means you. No offense.

I had this same shit happen two days ago. Bitch was talkin' about getting so many points and she could go to Hawaii. Also told me it would help promote her in motocross, which she had been doing since she was four. She also told me she had four kids, two sets of twins. *cough*bullshit*cough. I actually know a family with two sets of twins. So its not like I don't believe this happens. But its such a coincidence that not only did she have two sets of twins, but so did tha asshole who sold us our last car. So did somebody who tried to sell me magazines over the phone.

So basically, I let this bitch go through her routine and tell me all of the bullshit. Then she asks what I do for a living. I told her I am a magazine salesman. She gave me that surprised ass look. I told her if I needed some magazines, I would buy them from myself so I could go to Hawaii. I really think I fucked her up, because she was having trouble thinking of what else to say to convince me to buy from her.

My favorite was when I was working at Wal-Mart and one of these assholes called me at work and told me I qualified for a special discount for hardware department managers. She asked what kind of magazines I like to read. I told her I don't read them. She argues with me that surely I read them sometimes. I told her that would be kind of hard to do since I CAN'T FUCKING READ!!! Then I got all emotional and the bitch felt bad. But she still tried to sell me the shit, so I read her the riot act and asked to speak to her supervisor. She actually hung up on me. If I knew what company she worked for, I would have called and got the bitch in trouble.

Another time, when they called me at work, I swore to God I already had a subscription to every single magazine she named. Another time I actually asked her to hold, went and grabbed one of the magazines from up front, and when she told me how much I would save on the cover price, I told her how much more I would save if I just got a subscription using the offer in the actual magazine. She still wanted me to buy from her instead.

Most of these people are real smooth and fast talkers. But all I ever get are people who speak Jive or Ebonics. One time I got one from someone who sounded like a business woman. But I shot her down too.

Next time they call me, they're getting fucking rick rolled.

Or maybe I'll fart into the phone and ask them to guess what the sound was.

Tebor wrote:

I HATE CELL PHONE SOLICITORS! Seriously what the hell!

If I EVER get a solicitation call on my cell, all hell will break loose. I would go far out of my way to ruin lives for something like this.

Well, technically, he didn't say a whole lot other than he hates them. So it may not be as misleading as we think until we get some clarification.

username wrote:

i have never worked outbound telemarketing. only outbound collections. i would hate myself if i worked outbound telemarketing

I would hate you too.

username wrote:

i would hate myself mostly because i have been on the receiving end of SLAMMERS. both as a regular rep and a supervisor/manager. man it sucks my cornhole

Shit. I used to get slammers when I worked at Movie Gallery and Wal-Mart.

"I was just calling to see how much I owed in late fees."

"Three dollars."

"That's fucking BULLSHIT!!"

SLAM!

(Me after the hang up) "Bitch, you obviously thought you had some or you wouldn't have called."

The only time I have problems when I am the caller (to the company) is when I get somebody in Abu Dhabi, or when the guy I'm talking to (usually in reference to a bill) tells me I can do something, I have to call back, they tell me I can't, and I hang up tell 'em fuck you, call back and get somebody telling me I can. LEARN THE POLICIES FUCKERS!!! IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, DO TECH SUPPORT FOR YOUR COUNTRY INSTEAD OF MINE.

DISCLAIMER: In reference to that last line, I don't give a shit if people move here and don't learn English. But when I'm calling from the Midwest for tech support, I'd like to talk to someone who can speak American.