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If World War Two had been a computer strategy game


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OctoMan
Joined: Aug 22 2005
PostPosted: Sep 04 2006 11:46 am Reply with quote Back to top

If you don't know much about WWII, you might not find this that funny, but if you do, it's frickin' hilarious!

http://www-etud.iro.umontreal.ca/~mailletf/inc/ww2_rts.txt
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Sep 05 2006 12:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Good times. Very Happy
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classic™
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Sep 05 2006 04:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

You know what that reminds me of? Command & Conquer Red Alert and Red Alert 2.

Jesus, I love Command & Conquer games.


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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Sep 07 2006 11:02 am Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, it started off kinda weak, but that was great, especially when Hitler starts calling Roosevelt a hacker.


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Concrete Donkey
Title: King Penguin
Joined: Jun 17 2008
Location: The Sexy Tour
PostPosted: Jun 17 2008 02:39 am Reply with quote Back to top

*Hitler has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fuckin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: shit Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do shit til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fuck up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fuckin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullshit u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler: wtf
Hitler: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fuckin army
Hitler: thats bullshit u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u asshole! WE HAD A FuCKIN TRUCE
Hitler: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o shit i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an ass
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh shit help
Hitler: o man ur fucked
paTTon: oh what now bitch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my shit
Hitler: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler: u guys are fuckin gay
Hitler: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fuck this shit im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler: wtf?
Eisenhower: shit now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY SHIT I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy shitholyshithoylshti!!!111shift
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullshit u fuckin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for shit
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbass
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fuck u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

End.


The American government spent $2 million to create a pen that worked in space. The Russians just brought a pencil.
I don't like Pope in my juice.
 
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Jun 17 2008 02:52 am Reply with quote Back to top

Since that link no longer works, thanks for the reupload!


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Jun 17 2008 01:34 pm Reply with quote Back to top

lol that was hilarious.


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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Jun 17 2008 04:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Seriously if WWII was a strategy I would have fixed some problems:
Quote:
Among the British and Churchillian blunders were:

• The secret decision of a tiny cabal in the inner Cabinet in 1906 to take Britain straight to war against Germany, should she invade France
• The vengeful Treaty of Versailles that muti- lated Germany, leaving her bitter, betrayed, and receptive to the appeal of Adolf Hitler
• Britain’s capitulation, at Churchill’s urging, to American pressure to sever the Anglo- Japanese alliance, insulting and isolating Japan, pushing her onto the path of militarism and conquest
• The 1935 sanctions that drove Italy straight into the Axis with Hitler
• The greatest blunder in British history: the unsolicited war guarantee to Poland of March 1939—that guaranteed the Second World War
• Churchill’s astonishing blindness to Stalin’s true ambitions.

http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl/9780307405159.html

But that chat-like sequence of the war is very funny.


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

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