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Dumb fucking reviewers.


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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 01:50 am Reply with quote Back to top

I was reading a review on the new hulk movie, which a critic gave 8/10, and mostly praised the movie. I thought it was a well written and objective piece until I read this part:

Quote:
The filmmakers made a bad decision in having Thunderbolt constantly chomping on a cigar, even though that was the way he was depicted in the comics. A responsible director should leave smoking out of any movie.


What the fuck kind of stupid statement is that!?!

So you think people shouldn't smoke, that's fine, your intitled to your opinion. But, guess what? People DO smoke, so fucking deal with it! It's not like the Hulk is lighting up or something. Yes, this is a comic movie. Yes, kids will see this. But, General "Thunderbolt" is a "bad guy" in this film, so I don't think kids are going to want to be him, and light up a cigar!

Jesus Fucking Christ, I want to bitchslap some people...
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 02:48 am Reply with quote Back to top

That's a weird line...

But you know, critics make all sorts of weird outburst. In a published review I did for The Chronicles of Riddick I declared the sci-fi genre dead. Shocked


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 09:13 am Reply with quote Back to top

That's the big complaint? I don't really think that's a big deal. I don't see most getting that mad about it, unless you smoke and don't like what yo ubelieve to be a "criticism" of your habbit.


Lawyers, Guns and Money
 
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Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 09:49 am Reply with quote Back to top

I started smoking because Barney and Fred did it and I wanted to be cool like them. Crying

Anyways, I just saw Jackass 2 and I have to go drink horse semen now if you excuse me.



 
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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 11:11 am Reply with quote Back to top

anorexorcist wrote:
That's the big complaint? I don't really think that's a big deal. I don't see most getting that mad about it, unless you smoke and don't like what yo ubelieve to be a "criticism" of your habbit.


It's more about the authenticity of a character's role being put into question because of moral or social boundaries that whiny idiots believe in. It's not a movie's job to be a babysitter, or a good example. It's there to entertain, and especially if it's a comic book movie, be true to the original work.

Regarding the entire idea of a kid being influenced by a movie, hell, we all know I went and became a police officer, got shot full of holes by criminals, then got my body replaced with robotics. Because, goddamn, Robocop was cool. That's way unhealthier for you than smoking is; you can't even get it up anymore after becoming a Robocop. That is unless you count the RoboPenis, which operates on hydraulics.
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Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 12:12 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The thing that cracks me up about this nonsense is there is more than likely some injury or death involved in this superhero movie, and you would think a responsible director would leave all that cool stuff out. I don't even smoke, but I hate this stupid campaign (especially the truth commercials) to abolish smoking. If you don't know that smoking is bad for you then you either live in a fucking cave, or are retarded. I don't get why people are so concerned with how long other people live. If somebody enjoys smoking, and doesn't mind the fact that they will probably die earlier, then fine. Also tobacco companies bring in ridiculous amounts of tax revenue for this country, of which we all benefit (Canadians excluded here)
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 12:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

i cant wait for the campaign to abolish old age.

i read somewhere that old age has a 100% mortality rate.


Klimbatize wrote:
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scamrock
Title: Space Bastard
Joined: Jan 26 2008
Location: Planet Druidia
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 12:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

username wrote:
i cant wait for the campaign to abolish old age.

i read somewhere that old age has a 100% mortality rate.


I've been saying this for years, but nobody wants to listen.


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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 05:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I hate Roger Ebert. He bashed Spider-Man for being too much like a comic. Rolling Eyes


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scamrock
Title: Space Bastard
Joined: Jan 26 2008
Location: Planet Druidia
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:03 pm Reply with quote Back to top

ross_rifle113 wrote:
I hate Roger Ebert. He bashed Spider-Man for being too much like a comic. Rolling Eyes


"Roger Ebert says, 'Better than the first two!'"

Right on the cover of the Home Alone 3 VHS.

Scamrock says, "Ebert loses all credibility."


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Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

ross_rifle113 wrote:
I hate Roger Ebert. He bashed Spider-Man for being too much like a comic. Rolling Eyes

I like Roger Ebert. His reviews coincide more often than not with my own views and they are always entertaining to read. And as far as Spider-Man goes I think he said that the movie was too much like a cartoon not too much like a comic. He even states that he was a fan of the comics in his review:

Roger Ebert wrote:
As a reader of the Spider-Man comics, I admired the vertiginous frames showing Spidey dangling from terrifying heights.

He then goes on to say that the movie didn't reflect that. I think he said something similar on his show.



 
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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Critics are probably bribed because every fucking new movie you see is like: "5/5, 2 thumbs up, 4 stars" I doubt the that every fucking movie is great.


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

there actually have been cases where the company that made the movie writes fake reviews for its own movie


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I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Roger Ebert wrote:
There is a structural reason for that: Video games by their nature require player choices, which is the opposite of the strategy of serious film and literature, which requires authorial control.

I am prepared to believe that video games can be elegant, subtle, sophisticated, challenging and visually wonderful. But I believe the nature of the medium prevents it from moving beyond craftsmanship to the stature of art. To my knowledge, no one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great dramatists, poets, filmmakers, novelists and composers. That a game can aspire to artistic importance as a visual experience, I accept. But for most gamers, video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilized and empathetic.

Fuck Roger Ebert
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Burt Reynolds wrote:
Roger Ebert wrote:
There is a structural reason for that: Video games by their nature require player choices, which is the opposite of the strategy of serious film and literature, which requires authorial control.

I am prepared to believe that video games can be elegant, subtle, sophisticated, challenging and visually wonderful. But I believe the nature of the medium prevents it from moving beyond craftsmanship to the stature of art. To my knowledge, no one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great dramatists, poets, filmmakers, novelists and composers. That a game can aspire to artistic importance as a visual experience, I accept. But for most gamers, video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilized and empathetic.

Fuck Roger Ebert

well said. very eloquent of you.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Any it's easy to take bits of out context from negitive reviews that make them sound good!

On the movie poster: "Exciting!" - Roger Ebert

The review: "The only thing exciting about this film was seeing the credits and knowing it was over."
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Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 06:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Burt Reynolds wrote:
Roger Ebert wrote:
There is a structural reason for that: Video games by their nature require player choices, which is the opposite of the strategy of serious film and literature, which requires authorial control.

I am prepared to believe that video games can be elegant, subtle, sophisticated, challenging and visually wonderful. But I believe the nature of the medium prevents it from moving beyond craftsmanship to the stature of art. To my knowledge, no one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great dramatists, poets, filmmakers, novelists and composers. That a game can aspire to artistic importance as a visual experience, I accept. But for most gamers, video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilized and empathetic.

Fuck Roger Ebert

That only makes me not want to read video game reviews of his. It doesn't change my opinion of him as a film critic. What I like about his movie reviews is his "It's not what a movie is about, but how it is about it" approach. It allows him to rate a comic book movie just as high as an "art" movie.



 
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Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 11:06 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Tyop wrote:

That only makes me not want to read video game reviews of his. It doesn't change my opinion of him as a film critic. What I like about his movie reviews is his "It's not what a movie is about, but how it is about it" approach. It allows him to rate a comic book movie just as high as an "art" movie.

And that's fine. Personally, I think he misses the point of some movies, and it's hard for me to take advice from a guy in this mindset (the pretentious state of deciding what mediums do or don't classify as art), not to mention the awful skin flick he did in the 60's, but again movies are subjective, and if your opinion falls more in line with his then thats cool. I hate him however.
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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Jun 13 2008 11:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Critics and reviewers are only giving you their opinion, they can tell you how much they love a movie, or how much they hate it and they get paid for it.
It must be fucking nice tell people what to watch. Either way make your own opinion on a movie.

Remember: "Everybody's a critic"-some guy.


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

Signature subject to change without notice.
 
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Jun 14 2008 05:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

When did this become the I HATE ROGER EBERT thread!?

Okay, I love Ebert cause I'm from Chicago, but please there are so many more horrible critics than Ebert. At least his reviews are well written. IGN can't say the same. Rolling Eyes


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Jun 14 2008 07:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Robert Ebert Skin Flick? WHAT!?



 
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Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
PostPosted: Jun 15 2008 05:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

Blackout Boy wrote:
Robert Ebert Skin Flick? WHAT!?

Ebert wrote the screenplay for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Awesome movie btw.



 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Jun 15 2008 02:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Tyop wrote:
Blackout Boy wrote:
Robert Ebert Skin Flick? WHAT!?

Ebert wrote the screenplay for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Awesome movie btw.

Ok so no naked Ebert right?



 
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Tyop
Title: Grammar Nazi
Joined: May 04 2008
Location: Sauerkrautland
PostPosted: Jun 15 2008 05:43 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Blackout Boy wrote:
Ok so no naked Ebert right?

Nope, no naked Ebert. I'm just as disappointed as you.



 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Jun 15 2008 06:33 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Tyop wrote:
Blackout Boy wrote:
Ok so no naked Ebert right?

Nope, no naked Ebert. I'm just as disappointed as you.

Laughing I didn't mean it like that.



 
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