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Master Hand and Crazy Hand


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 11:15 am Reply with quote Back to top

are both white gloved hands.

And Mario, Nintendo's marquee character, wears white gloves. So I wonder if in some future Smash game we'll learn that Master Hand and Crazy Hand belong to a giant Mario. Or better yet, maybe they'll be accompanied by the creepy disembodied Mario head from Mario Teaches Typing and the Mario 64 title screen.

But more importantly, I have a question. If Master Hand and Crazy Hand are indeed Mario's hands, which one would he use to masturbate?
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S. McCracken
Moderator
Title: Enforcer
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Massachusetts
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 11:37 am Reply with quote Back to top

Depends on what kind of experience he's looking for. Everyone knows crazy sex is the best sex but ends up being more complicated afterwards. When he wants stability (maybe to be dominated?) he'll use Master Hand,


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Chrisby
Joined: Mar 31 2006
Location: Where my computer is.
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 01:14 pm Reply with quote Back to top

My first thought when I first bought SSB on the N64 was whether or not he was supposed to be Mario's hand.
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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 02:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The Master(bation) hand of course.
The Crazy hand looks so fucked up because Mario shot it full of heroin.


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 05:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I think Hail-NekoYasha has the answer to what Master Hand really is. . . .

Image

And here is one by FrutiValusDaydreamer

Image


Syd Lexia wrote:
iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash.

Lexiabot9000 wrote:
Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating.

 
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 05:37 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That would actually be perfect.

Either that or Andross circa Star Fox 64.


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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 08:48 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I was under the assujmption (considering the guys were dolls and not trophies in teh first game) that master hand was just a kid playing with his toys, and therefore master hand was the kids hand.

but to not derail the joke topic, I will say that the heands belong to michael jackson.


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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 08:51 pm Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
but to not derail the joke topic, I will say that the heands belong to michael jackson.

I thought he only wore one white glove?


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

Signature subject to change without notice.
 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 08:59 pm Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
I was under the assujmption (considering the guys were dolls and not trophies in teh first game) that master hand was just a kid playing with his toys, and therefore master hand was the kids hand.

that was my assumption as well. as each characters ending just showed them turning into a doll and it looked like someone was walking out of the room before the credits rolled thru.

either way, i think crazy hand would probably be better for fisting seeing how crazy it can move once its inside. unless the person is not accustomed yet, they might want the smoother master hand for fisting.

now that i consider it, crazy hand is probably for groping/foreplay while master hand is the finisher. yeah.

alright, thats a little too much even for a videogame forum


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 09:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
I was under the assumption (considering the guys were dolls and not trophies in the first game) that master hand was just a kid playing with his toys, and therefore master hand was the kid's hand.

Well, they could have been Mario's dolls.
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erock
Title: likes to party
Joined: Dec 21 2007
Location: Phoenix. its hot outside
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 09:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
JEW wrote:
I was under the assumption (considering the guys were dolls and not trophies in the first game) that master hand was just a kid playing with his toys, and therefore master hand was the kid's hand.

Well, they could have been Mario's dolls.


Very true. Remember Booster seemed to have dolls of everything. Even Samus and Peach if i remember 100% correctly.
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Apr 15 2008 10:13 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Laminated Sky wrote:
JEW wrote:
but to not derail the joke topic, I will say that the heands belong to michael jackson.

I thought he only wore one white glove?


you're actualyl fighting two michael jacksons, one jsut went crazy.


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Laminated Sky
Title: Extra Crispy
Joined: Feb 25 2008
Location: Etobicoke
PostPosted: Apr 16 2008 02:46 pm Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
you're actualyl fighting two michael jacksons, one jsut went crazy.

O I see so the right on is the black michael jackson and the left one is the white pedophile michael jackson.


I'm so bananas I'm showing up to your open casket,
to fill it up with explosive gases,
and close it back,
with a lit match in it,
while I sit back, and just hope it catches.

Blow you to fragments,
laugh,
roll you, and smoke the ashes.

http://history.sydlexia.com/index.php?title=Laminated_Sky

Signature subject to change without notice.
 
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