Well, that sucked.

I don't actually give a shit about sports, by and large, but I'm a weirdly obsessive Pats fan (and this goes back to before anyone even knew about Tom Brady, so don't cry "fairweather"... My dad took me to see them back when winning 2 games was a huge deal). This Super Bowl, then, was just... yeah.

First, congratulations to any Giants fans out there. That final TD Pass is going to be in highlight reels for generations. I still don't get how the hell Manning got ut of that clusterfuck.

Now, in general... what the hell? Both offenses played like shit for three and a half quarters (seriously, that third quarter was some of the worst all around football I've ever seen). Then Brady remembered "oh yeah, I'm Tom Brady", did his last minute march down the field thing, and was getting ready to go home and bang Gisele. Of course, then Eli had to remember that Mannings other than Peyton can avoid sucking and return the favor... Just, wow.

Bill, Bill... GO FOR IT on 4th and 13th on the 31? *Really?* Seeing as we lost by 3, that call is going to haunt fans for a long time.

Other things I wasn't a fan of... 1) Opening our first drive with a trick play. That smacked of the Pats trying too hard to be clever. When they do that, things usually go downhill fast, 2) Maroney had some okay early carries, then we basically abandoned the running game, despite Brady taking more shots than 50 Cent on his grandma's front porch, 3) Guys, next time, before you leave the send-off rally in Foxboro, make sure you pack your Offensive Line on the bus, too. You might have to leave a laptop or something at home but, trust me, it's worth it.

This is how sports cycles work, I guess. You go from being a scrappy underdog, to slowly gaining huge momentum and acclaim, to ultimately being seen as a domineering evil empire, and then the next scrappy underdog steals the spotlight, even if temporarily.

Fan observations:

1) NE fans (true). It's a just a game. Yes, it sucks that we lost, given what was at stake, but the Patriots will line up in formation again this summer. Maybe my not being a huge sports fan otherwise offers me a chance to see this more objectively? I dunno. But I'm not that crushed. Again, it sucks, but they're still my favorite team and the fact that they "only" went 18-1, broke assloads of NFL records, and lost in the final minutes of the Super Bowl isn't going to change that.

2) NE fans (bandwagon). Good riddance. I never understood the point of Pink form-fitting Tom Brady jerseys anyway. Girls look way hotter in real ones. This is part of the fandom experience... teams lose.

3) NE fan haters. I'm mixed on what to say to you. On the one hand, I understand why you hate the Pats. They've been hugely successful, Belichick is in no way media-friendly, it's almost unfair how things work out for them, the fans can be obnoxious as shit, and people generally hate when teams with huge, established success try to play the underdog angle. On the other hand, you all took the videotaping thing and RAN with it. You KNOW it's common practice in the league. The only difference is the Pats got caught and that gives you ammo to act like *insert team here* would NEVER do such a thing. There's a reason Mangini got blacklisted after the initial Spygate uproar -- coaches don't turn in their own, AND he shed a lot of light on something everyone basically took advantage of. What really blew my mind was when some folks in sports forums (and, dear god, if there's one thing I've learned in the past few years, it's that sports forums make the Something Awful forums look like a glorious mythical realm where gorgeous naked vixens feed you the fruit of your choice while Nintendo gets "Smash Brothers Brawl" out in February) attacked the Pats for Spygate but said Michael Vick was being treated unfairly. Uh... videotaping signals and, uh, murdering living things are not in the same league... at all... in any feasible way... no matter how you try to spin in... and no matter how drunk you get the person you're arguing with.

I think I've said enough. Anyway, again, congrats to the Giants fans out there and, well, sorry to everybody because the Pats were pissed about losing the AFC Championship game to a highly-touted rival and they channeled that into an 18-1 season. Lord only knows what losing the Super Bowl to a serious underdog is going to bring out of them next season.

Actually.. are there any explicit rules stating that players MUST be human? Because if not, I offer that the Kraft family is probably right now buying assloads of amber to mine for mosquitos so they can harvest DNA from the blood they've sucked to create a new defensive package consisting solely of cloned velociraptors.