| Author |
Message |
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
This website made a list of the top 20 hackers in movies.
Some of them are obvious, some are out of order, but many are just lame and wrong.
http://www.drivl.com/posts/view/461
So who do I think should have made it?
- Who is going to argue with me that this is by far the best hacker in any movie ever?
She steals like 8 Billion bucks and has an ass that is out of this world. She is THE BEST. No question about it.
Drivl, you have a bunch of sexist fuckers on your site. not even one girl in the top 20?
- How about Seth Green in The Italian Job? Dude gets traffic going all over the place and gets a truck to go where he wants. Ok, so he doesn't belong at number 1, but I think top 20 is reasonable.
- Moving on, what about Q from James Bond. The dude makes about every toy I have ever wanted. Honestly... James Bond is awesome in just about every way, but his nerd helps him stay alive at least once per movie. I know he doesn't sit in front of a computer hacking code all day, but you don't think that those cars come with missile launching systems that were pre-configured? Oh... the watch with a laser beam, I bet that was programmed with HTML. Fuck no, this guy was awesome at hacking and coding.
- Anakin Skywalker made C3P0 when he was like 4 years old. He pretty much stopped hacking stuff when he got a light saber though because now he can just fucking cut shit up to get it out of his way. I mean... as Vader he just takes whatever the fuck he wants.
- Clarence Gilyard Jr. is a super hacker, if only he knew to avoid child limo drivers. He should be on this list.
- John Connor hacked an ATM in about 5 seconds in T2. Fucking sweet! Why wouldn't he be on the list? He is a little kid who steals money and fucking kills a liquid metal dude.
- Um... Would the T-X count as a hacker? If so it probably is the best one of all time. She is pretty frigg'n hot.. unfortunately she is very deadly for humans. None the less she touches something and it gets infected. She helps hack just about everything so that Skynet wins.
- Oh, and Neo as number 1? Sure he can hack the Matrix... But if he was really so great, he would have been able to shut down all the machines. You know... rather than dying. That is why I would like to have Mouse added to this list instead. He pretty much makes virtual sex for those who want it. That must take MAD skills. I imagine since Neo could hack everything that he could just think it, but he wouldn't. And that makes Mouse better at hacking.
- Dr. Griffin Weir should probably be on this list. He learns how to hack life itself and store it on an optical disk. Pretty crazy programming if you ask me. Of course, would Michael Drucker be the real hacker for making the disks only work temporarily so that people need to keep coming back for repeat work.
I need to go... for now, I'm sure I'll have more to write about this later.
|
|
|
   |
|
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
|
My vote is for R2-D2. He was constantly tapping into computer systems. He hacked the trash compactor in Episode IV, he also hacked into the elevators in Episode 3, and I'm sure a few others I am forgetting.
And, what about the villians in Live Free Or Die Hard?
|
|
|
   |
|
erock
Title: likes to party
Joined: Dec 21 2007
Location: Phoenix. its hot outside
Posts: 1219
|
i vote for jason from friday the 13th. he hacked alot of people... to death.
|
|
|
   |
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| erock462 wrote: |
| i vote for jason from friday the 13th. he hacked alot of people... to death. |
Jason was a mentally challenged monster. His hacking was sloppy at best.
His grade for quantity: A-
His grade for quality: F+
|
|
|
   |
|
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
|
This list is shit.
Antitrust sucked.
Johnny Mneumonic sucked.
The second and third Matrix movies sucked HARD.
Takedown sucked.
Firewall was satisfying at best.
And they should have picked Angelina from Hackers.
Swordfish sucked too, but the scene where he hacks the Pentagon in like 2 minutes while getting head is hilarious.
Actually, I guess about 75% of the list is OK.
Fontaine had some good picks, here are some of mine:
Cameron Vale from Scanners: He hacks a computer from miles away by going through the phone lines and into its modem... WITH HIS MIND.
The Lone Gunmen from X-Files - Fight The Future: Sure they came from TV, but they were best secondary characters ever to grace the X-Files series.
David Levinson from Independence Day: using a piece-of-shit Mac, he singlehandedly destroys an invading alien army.
|
|
|
     |
|
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
|
And, what the hell is the trend with all new TV shows having a kid hacker?
In the pilot for Bionic Woman, Jaime's little sister isn't supppose to have a computer (So she hides it outside her window), because she got in trouble for hacking. (Although, they may have retconned it, as in a later episode, she is showing Jaime pictures on her computer, yet Jaime doesn't say anything about her having it.)
Now, in Terminator: TSCC, Sarah yells at John because he talks about the computers at school, and she reminds him, he not suppose to be hacking, else the government (and/or terminators) will find them.
Seriously, have you ever known any kid aged 12-18 that hacks? (I'm not talking about downloading games, that's piracy, and has nothing to do with hacking.) I mean sitting at thier computer writing code and running log tracers while trying to de-encrypt a remote systems sercurity?
It just doesn't happen. I would say that about 1 in 500,000,000 teenagers know anything about real hacking. Which means that at any given time, there is only about 16 kids in the world trying to break into other people's computers at any given time.
|
|
|
   |
|
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
|
I was never a hacker, but my freshman year of college, I was a total script kiddie. I sent a SubSeven-laced EXE to everyone I knew and then proceeded to fuck with their computers nonstop. It was awesome. Then they all got virus scans.
|
|
|
     |
|
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
|
I would never consider myself a hacker either, but I was a cleaver dickhead.
In Jr High, there was one PC (IMB PS/2, IIRC) in the library that had a CD-ROM encyclopedia on it. Since nobody knew crap about PCs, I went in one day, renamed the AUTOEXEC.BAT to AUTOEXEC.BAK, and made a new one that simply contained:
CLS
TYPE C:\DOS\DATA0001.TMH
C:\AUTOEXEC.BAT
DATA0001.TMH* was a text file I wrote that simply contained the text:
"ERROR CODE 117 - DISK OPERATING SYSTEM CAN NOT BE EXECUTED."
Then, I went home.
The next morning, I went into the Library and saw the Libraian scratching her head in front of the PC. (It was running my message loop.) I said, "Hey that's just a 117 error, those are easy to fix!" I sat down, deleted my modified AUTOEXEC and renamed the original back to normal, and rebooted the system. Strangely enough, it worked. The Libraian thanked my by giving me ten "coupons" for free ice cream bars at lunch.
Now that I think about it, I was a dickhead as a kid. I think if I ran into my youngerself, I would beat the shit outta me.
*The TMH file extension stood for "The Mad Hacker" which was the Handle I went by on many a BBS in the 80s/early 90s.
|
|
|
   |
|
Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
Posts: 4098
|
Dude, I love Swordfish.
I agree with the R2 vote though, he hacks pretty much everything.
|

REVIEWS, LEGOS, NONSENSE Check out Zarak's Barracks!
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!" |
|
   |
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
I don't think that this would count as hacking, but as far as programming/scripting goes...
I was asked not so politely by AOL to never use their service again thanks to a small application I had distributed in a chat room to some fuckhead who had thought it was cool to lock my machine up with Fate Ultra X.
Apparently he cried about the fact that when his computer booted there was nothing but a command prompt.
Sorry pal.
I wanna say I was 14 or 15 when that happened.
To give an idea of the time period, AOL was pretty much the only game in town. Two months earlier I moved from the DOS version of AOL 2.5 over to the AOL 2.5 for Windows 3 on my 2400 baud Hayse modem. At the time the 2400 baud modem was old by a few years.
To this day I consider this to be the best thing that could have happened with regards to my professional career. Before most people knew what the internet was about I had been kicked off the only service provider available in my area. Three months later I was rocking SNET's dialup.
|
|
|
   |
|
Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
Posts: 7542
|
My friend Jacob writes programs, but he's more in the "clever dickhead" realm when it comes to messing with someone's shit.
|
|
|
    |
|
coire
Title: Dr Emperor
Joined: Dec 26 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 10
|
It does it without fail in pretty much all movies with a hacker in them.
|
 Yes. I am a bad enough dude to save the president. |
|
   |
|
Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
Posts: 7542
|
What the hell kind of OS was that in Live Free or Die Hard? Now, THERE'S a movie that didn't know shit about computers.
|
|
|
    |
|
ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
Posts: 2752
|
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx . . . .
|
|
|
  |
|
Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
Posts: 7542
|
Brings a new meaning to the term "hard drive".
|
|
|
    |
|
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
|
| Char Aznable wrote: |
| What the hell kind of OS was that in Live Free or Die Hard? Now, THERE'S a movie that didn't know shit about computers. |
Yeah, Hollywood always has hackers using super shiny GUI's, or worse, putting on VR helmets and gloves and then flying through "cyberspace" grabbing at computerized boxes and shit.
The reality is, true hackers are staring at a Unix/Linux command prompt, entering lines of code and commands.
I guess that's just not exciting enough, though.
The only movie that got that right, was Goldeneye, when Natalia was encrypting the Goldeneye's computer systems, and you just see her typing at a boring black and white DOS like console screen.
|
|
|
   |
|
Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
|
I dunno movie hackers always seemed kinda lame to me.
|
|
|
    |
|
Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
|
| Syd Lexia wrote: |
This list is shit.
Antitrust sucked.
It's not really as bad as you'd think.
Johnny Mneumonic sucked.
But the campyness quality is stellar.
The second and third Matrix movies sucked HARD.
Bite me, Syd.
Firewall was satisfying at best.
Dude, that sucked more Johnny whatever-ic.
Swordfish sucked too...
You will believe a bus can fly... again.
The Lone Gunmen from X-Files - Fight The Future: Sure they came from TV, but they were best secondary characters ever to grace the X-Files series.
Right on.
David Levinson from Independence Day: using a piece-of-shit Mac, he singlehandedly destroys an invading alien army.
HELL YEAH! |
| Knyte wrote: |
The reality is, true hackers are staring at a Unix/Linux command prompt, entering lines of code and commands.
I guess that's just not exciting enough, though. |
You're goddam right! Real Hackers are fucking pussies. Hollywood needs to sexy them up and turn them in Chloe O'Brian.
|
 "If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
|
    |
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| Tebor wrote: |
| You're goddam right! Real Hackers are fucking pussies. Hollywood needs to sexy them up and turn them in Chloe O'Brian. |
Mary Lynn Rajskub...
|
|
|
   |
|
Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 6088
|
| GPFontaine wrote: |
| Tebor wrote: |
| You're goddam right! Real Hackers are fucking pussies. Hollywood needs to sexy them up and turn them in Chloe O'Brian. |
Mary Lynn Rajskub...  |
"24" has turned a nerd into a sex symbol. Wha happened?
|
 "If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man
"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor
8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh. |
|
    |
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| Tebor wrote: |
| GPFontaine wrote: |
| Tebor wrote: |
| You're goddam right! Real Hackers are fucking pussies. Hollywood needs to sexy them up and turn them in Chloe O'Brian. |
Mary Lynn Rajskub...  |
"24" has turned a nerd into a sex symbol. Wha happened?  |
It is a good thing I am going on vacation.
My brain can't handle Mary Lynn Rajskub being called a sex symbol.
|
|
|
   |
|
JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
|
| GPFontaine wrote: |
[list]
[*] Who is going to argue with me that this is by far the best hacker in any movie ever?
She steals like 8 Billion bucks and has an ass that is out of this world. She is THE BEST. No question about it.
|
I don't remember that character being an actual hacker. Nice ass though. Too bad its probably been worn out by Micheal Douglas.
|
 There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
|
  |
|
Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
|
| JRA wrote: |
| Nice ass though. Too bad its probably been worn out by Micheal Douglas. |
You mean it's all covered in dust?
|
|
|
   |
|
Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
|
| Knyte wrote: |
| JRA wrote: |
| Nice ass though. Too bad its probably been worn out by Micheal Douglas. |
You mean it's all covered in dust? |
I always knew that bitch was a daemon.
|
 "Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" |
|
   |
|
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
|
| JRA wrote: |
| I don't remember that character being an actual hacker. Nice ass though. Too bad its probably been worn out by Micheal Douglas. |
She makes that disk that allows her to hack the system and steal billions of dollars.
She may not be sitting in front of the terminal trying to crack a password, but she codes the disk and uses it.
I vote Hacker.
|
|
|
   |
|
|
|