And it was just mo-fo awesome. With all the new graphics and hi-tech madness of today's games, it feels good to dust off an old chestnut and just play something for the nostalgia.

I don't know if i'm older and wiser then i was ten years ago, but i did play metroid a shit load better then i did then.

I wanted to start the game as armorless Samus which is possible with the following code:

000000 000020
000000 000020

The biggest bitch about the game is not only the constant bombardment of pre-pattern programmed monsters but the map of the game itself. I wasn't going to get lost again, no sir, too many nightmares have spawned because of that shit. So i went to Metroid Database and got a map, number map4 preferable because it's the most legible. I realized something after using this map, Metroid is a f*ckload easier when you know where your going. There were a lot of thing i didn't realize since my last play of the game (and some that were all to familiar:

1)The winged claw monsters in Brinstar are sneaky bastards. If you turn into the morphing ball and try to bomb them, they will stay high enough to where your bombs can't reach them. And the one in the beginning where you have to use him to get the hidden energy take in the ceiling got what was coming to him after he fulfilled his prepuce.

2) If you get hit enough times in a row, your damage dealt is exponentially, meaning the more you take in a row, the amount of a single blow of damage increases.

3) the varia is rather easy to obtain, provide you have the jump boots and patients.

4) The Jump Boot’s hidden area (where the wave beam and screw attack are) is a bitch. Lava, bouncy balls, dragons, those bare foot porcupines and the Norfair equivalent of the flying claw monster. First time I came to this area I got lost and had to reset the game (because I was using game genie and couldn’t die to start at the beginning).

5) when you die, you start with 30 HP and five f*cking rockets. What the shit is up with that?!

6) Suitless samus is a brunette when she uses her prime weapon but is a blonde when she uses rockets. I guess that means she’s armed with rockets all the time now:



I couldn't finish today so i got the password down so i can pick up where i left off. Here is a list of the items I managed to collect:

The morphing ball
The long beam
The bombs
5 rocket upgrades (I think I got them all in the Jump boot’s hidden area)
3 energy tanks
The jump boots
The screw attack (which is thee most random weapon in the game)
The varia suit (which makes samus have green hair!)

So basically I’m done collecting items in Brinstar and have a shit load more in Norfair, like 9 rocket upgrades and an energy tank. When I’m done, I’m off to Ripley’s hideout (which has the shittest NES theme music of all time). And no, I’m not getting the wave beam, yes it’s cool but I can’t switch between the wave and the ice and the ice beam is the best weapon in the game. Which brings me to some down points with this old classic:

1) You can’t switch between the ice, the wave and the normal beam which is a shame because monsters take longer to kill with the ice beam.

2) There are no points to which you can quickly regain your HP and rockets. The game stops being fun when you have to kill a thousand beetles spawning from a cup just for a couple of energy orbs.

3) The screw attack is screwy. It only activates when it wants to and half the time, a monster taps you in thee ass when it fails.

4) Better theme music in Ripley’s Hideout and (ugh!) Tourian. The game is filled with classic NES jingles, but those two are shit to listen to (the mute button comes in handy at that point.) I didn't get to those areas in my game play today but the one thing i will always remember from metroid is the music

5) Have the freaking status at the boss’s hideout elevator as a boss.



I seriously thought you would have to fight something that looked like that status and I’m a little disappointed that none is found in the game.

6) and the biggest one of all: no upgrades for the beam's damage power. I'm not saying there should be the same number of beam upgrades as there are rocket upgrades, but even ONE would be nice.

All and all, I may be bitching about the game but it was the most funny i've had in a long time. I don't know what it is about the NES, it's just entertaining as hell. I’m hoping to play metroid again some time soon and pick up where I left off and finally pwn motherbrain. Metroid has always been a close relic to me. I have dreamed of making a metroid 'constructor' game, where one can make there own maps, monsters and items. Now that would be awesome!

And Syd was right, the rippers are true jobbers. And we should have a metroid in our emotions menu:




BTW, what old school games have you recently played?

Char Aznable wrote:

The Adventures of Bayou Billy. YEE-HAW!!!

That is one of those classics that i always wanted to try but never given the chance. I've heard it's shit hard.

Char Aznable wrote:

I get raped in 2 screens, although that's on a keyboard. I ought to try it with my controller.

The music . . . the music in that game is priceless:

JEW wrote:

personally I believe that the original metroid is one hundred percent obsolete with the invention of super metroid.

I can agree with 70% of that statement. At least in the super metroid, you can have the wave and shoot your ice too. Plus it's got a shit load more weapons and control options, including that insane motherbrain beam at the end of the game. Yes I will agree that super metroid is a step forward for the franchise and is arguably one of nintendo's finest games ever.

JEW wrote:

best in the series, IMO. then again, I'm partial to SNES as a whole. I think mario had his best game on this system too.

Then again, i am partial to NES.

JEW wrote:

yeah see, this is where I disagree. I should just take what I wrote for an as of yet unpublished article. Quote: Everyone has their own opinion on the best game in the Super Mario franchise, elitist will swear by the classic Mario/Duckhunt cart, while others will tell you Mario 3 was tops. In fact it seems that the only thing we can all agree on in this debate is that Super Mario Sunshine was awful. Some may consider Super Mario World a step down, compared to Mario 3, but I chose it for what it was designed to do. See, whereas Mario 3 was made with preexisting hardware in mind, and was made to fully take advantage of what it had to work with within it’s limits, Mario World was created to showcase what the Super Nintendo is capable of doing.

Oh i see, the game is a



for the SNES. That does give it props in the innovation field. Kind of like what Mario 64 did for the N64.

JEW wrote:

yeah. mario 64 pissed me off though. teh camera was your worst enemy.

I think that's true for ALL 3D games.

-bjork- wrote:

Zero Mission addresses all of the complaints you've listed with the original (except the elevator boss thing) and even kinda sorta holds your hand as far as story progression goes. Not as much as Fusion did, but to a small degree. Metroid II needs a remake on part with ZM. Metroid II was fun to play when it first came out, but it's pretty painful nowadays.

Yah, I saw a speedrun of ZM (in fact i've seen all the metroid 2D speedruns) and wanted to play it so badly. I still prefer the original because Ripley and kraid look cooler to me in their old school version.

Syd Lexia wrote:

SMW is definitely a great game, but I have two problems with: 1) It's too easy 2) It wasn't franchised the way the original series was. SMW was like the SMB1 of the SNES, the phenomenal pack-in launch title that sold the system. But the SNES never got anything equivalent to SMB3, and that sucks.

I agree on that point. I remember i had a chance to play SMW for the first time (that was a long time ago) and blazed through the levels like no ones business (keep in mind until that day I never played the SNES before). During my gameplay, i will never forget this, i wondered aimlessly through the first haunted mansion and somehow stumbled on one of the special pow box that fill in the dotted line box spots though out levels (i forget which color). Let me say that again, me, a rookie to the SNES found a secret by accident.

Since I'm posting i might as well post these too. I mentioned a metroid constructor game i dreamed of making in my rant. During the time of planning what i wanted this constructor to have, i came up with these psedo-screen shots:


Here are some of the weapons i wanted featured in MC (Metroid Constructor). The classics from the original and Super Metorid are featured included some i cooked up. Here are their listings (starting from the top and working left to right downword):

The normal beam
Grappling hook (which only can grapple to the statue head next to samus)
the rockets
the machine beam (a rapid fire weapon that eventually overheats when used too much at once)
the wave beams
the flame thrower
the ice beam
and the death beam (which destroys anything and everything)

These are only a few I managed to list and yes acording to this screen shot, Samus has unlimited HP. It's important for me to point these out so you have a vague clue to WTF is going on in the following screenshots:


Giant Pink Ripley! His being pink is a bmp error, i wanted him to be a purple dinosaur. And notice how he has his own energy meter and theres a water fall (or acid fall), two awesome features not included in the original.


The Machine beam is suppose to have enough fire power to penetrate the armor of some indestructible enemys (like the Rippers). However it takes a shitload of fire power, so much the machine beam may overheat after samus shoots enough rippers.


The Grappling beam in action! Although looking at this pic, samus might be about to make that jump without the Grappling beam.


Samus vs Samus Clones!


The Ripper Stairway to Heaven


I think this is suppose to be a space pirate's ship and samus finds ripley in suspended animation. I'm not too sure.


Double Kraid battle. And notice how the machine beam has overheated and samus has to either wait for it to cool off or whip something else out.


Fighting a boss that looks like that damn statue at the boss elevators!


WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!!!!


Remember the acid fall, well heres another shot of it that includes a item, i don't know which one.

So that's metroid constructor, basically taking the old school design from the original and combining it with various things from the franchise and some personal originality. In short, the Gmod of the Metroid world. Some day . . . some day . . .

dummies_ch2 wrote:

on another note, how the hell does Samus, a 6-foot(?) bounty hunter fit into a ball less than half her size when she morphs?

IT MAGIC!!!!

While looking for a magic girl, i found dis