So, a few weeks ago, I go to my car (I park outside, on my side of the street, in front of my house), and I see, on the back left window, someone has written, in permanent marker: "Is This How Driving Trng [sic] Taught You To Park?"
My thoughts: "Is this how 1st grade taught you to write?"
I wrote it off as just some idiot and cleaned the window using grease cleaner, but today, I wake up, go to my car, and the douchebag's returned. This time, he's written twice, also in permanent marker. On the front window:
"Stupid Moran". [sic]
On the back window:
"Wrong Way, Moran." [sic]

So, one of two things has happened:
1) Someone is being wonderfully ironic calling me an insult that they can't even spell, and thus fulfilling that insult themselves, or...
2) Someone has mistaken me for a direct descendant of 1920's era gangster Bugs Moran.
Either way, it's hilarious. After all, I park on the side of the street, so there's no "wrong way" to park. And I couldn't make up the "moran" but if I tried.
My main idea for the culprit: Someone with an incredibly small penis, who is so insecure about it he has to go around writing on cars to make himself feel more manly.
If I met this guy (or gal), my words would go like this:
I'd tell you to keep this up, but I have to wash the marker off every time, and that's a pain, so if I find out who you are, I'll buy you a drink, then cut off your balls and feed them to you. Fair enough?
P.S. If you decide to graduate to keying my car, I will track you down and feed you to snapping turtles. Have a nice day.

Char Aznable wrote:

I hate parallel parking and shit like that, but there's no need to appoint yourself Parking Lot Monitor and write on people's cars. That's just being a douche.

Is it parallel parking if there aren't cars in front and behind you? There weren't any others in the near vicinity, and this wasn't in a lot, it was in front of MY OWN HOUSE! What kind of dick does that?

Tebor wrote:

butthead

Hehehehe...butthead...hehehehe

Char Aznable wrote:

Did I write parallel parking? Fuck, I meant double parking. Sorry.

Yeah, double-parking gets on my nerves, too. But what really pisses me off is when I'm at a red light, and try to go straight when the light turns green, but some jackass coming towards me forgets I have the right-of-way, and makes a left turn, nearly getting me into a wreck, causing me to rant and rave about how I hate people.
My misanthropy really comes out when I'm driving.

-bjork- wrote:

I've never written on anyone's car with a pen, but I have drawn in the dirt on a dirty car. I used to have a friend that would invite us over for WWF PPVs back around 95 or so, and one time we showed up and waited for a few hours. He simply wasn't home. But his car was, and it was dirty. So we go up to his car, and he was a big Kiss fan. In the Kiss "font", I wrote "Kiss Sucks" on his trunk, and my other friend put "Ace is an alcoholic drugged out queer" on his hood. They repaid me by putting swastikas on my car... when I live in a predominately hispanic neighborhood. On Christmas, no less.

I'd say the swastika thing sucks, but as a fan of Ace Frehley and KISS, I'd say it's justified.
But that is pretty funny, though. Some KISS fans can't take a joke. The swastika thing is waaaaay too harsh.
Also, in reference to your first sentence, it wasn't a pen, but a permanent marker. Pen would probably be worse, because you'd have to push the tip hard enough to get the ink to show, and that'd probably scratch my window. Then, I'd graduate from "amused" to "pissed off".

-username wrote:

That douchebag probably just wants you to park w/the flow of traffic, but either way, that's still stupid. Especially to go thru all that trouble of writing on your car. In fact, that makes me kind of angry. I want to go to his house and take a piss on his TV now. I dont know why, it just came to mind.

The funny thing is, even if I was parked with the flow of traffic, it's still a parked car. Which way its facing won't matter, you'll still have to drive around it.

Syd Lexia wrote:

I've never written on anyone's car, but I did carve up someone's driver side door with a box cutter once. It happened like this: About a year ago, my brother, our friend, and I went to see some movie at a local movie theater, which happened to be in the mall. We get out of the car and the guys next to us get out of their car at about the same time. My brother and his friend were talking about Guild Wars and WOW, and I was just listening. So aforementioned guys were walking about five feet in front of us. Oh, I forgot to mentioned... these were really douchebag looking kids: muscle shirts, visors, wrap-around shades, baggy jeans, the whole stupid loser jock image. So they loudly start making fun of my brother and our friend, saying stuff like "Oh boy, I can't wait to get home and play some computer games cuz I'm a fag!" So whatever. I weigh like 130, so I'm not about to pick a fight with these kids, so we just ignore them. We come out of the movie 2 hours later and their car is still there. By this time the mall is closed, but the movie theater is still open. There's no one around and there's only like 100 or so cars spread out throughout the whole giant ass parking lot. First, I take out my keys and key the driver's side door. Then I get in the backseat, and I find my brother's boxcutter from his old job on the floor, so I'm like, hold on a second, I run out and I slice into the driver's door with that. I don't know what the fuck the door was made of, but the Exact-O blade cut through it like butter. Then we drove off. It was fucking awesome.

That was gold. Syd proves: Never pick on someone if you aren't prepared to face the consequences.
It would have been awesome if you had stuck around and hidden somewhere to see their reaction. That'd have been great, but I understand why you wouldn't want to; those guys would probably have killed you. Still, kudos to ya, Syd.

I'm friends with loads of people at my school, and a lot of my good friends are "jocks" and "preps". I'm friends with just about anyone who isn't a dick. I don't really care about cliques. I've never fit into a clique, never will. I think boxing yourself into a group is dagnab stupid, and it only limits your social interaction.
But that's just me.