SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic

Posted: May 29 2007 07:10 pm

Uwe Boll is like the Lindsey Lohan of filmmakers. Every couple of days or so, you know he's going to do something really dumb, so you just sit back and hold your breath, and wait for it to happen. Then, when it does, it's such a good story that you're alternately glad he's still working, and angry that no one has yet tried to stop him. This is why it's no surprise that Boll is selling a role in his film adaptation of Far Cry on eBay.

Yes, for the low, low price of...well, whatever the price ends up being, you can have a role in Boll's film. Of course, you have to pay your own transportation, room, and board, but you'll be a real actor! With real film to prove it! You know a film is going poorly when the director has to auction a speaking role on eBay.

Posted: May 29 2007 07:17 pm

Oh, sweet Jesus, this movie is going to suck. (We need shaking head in shame emoticons).

Posted: May 29 2007 07:51 pm

We should all pitch in so we can send Syd.

Maybe he'll get to be a mutated monkey or something!

Posted: May 29 2007 08:14 pm

Beh. Some asshole told me Uwe Boll was directing a Castlevania move the other day. Turns out he's just a lying asshole.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

don't make fun of jake who told smurf who told you!

and yes, he was working on one.

Posted: May 29 2007 10:14 pm

Don't ruin Castlevania, you asshat!!! Goddamn you, Boll!!!!

Posted: May 29 2007 10:48 pm

So I buy the role, pay for the plane ticket, pay for Motel 6, and make the suicide bomb suit myself? Sounds fair. Cool

Posted: Sep 19 2007 07:54 am

'You Dumb Fuck': Uwe Boll Responds To Our Postal Review
From August 14, 2007

Uwe Boll isn't happy with Wired's review of Postal. We attended the US premiere of the game-to-movie director's latest film and didn't find it especially funny. Boll, in turn, doesn't find us especially funny. Here's the email we receieved yesterday evening:

Uwe Boll wrote:

chris
your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it.
people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore.
uwe boll
PS: POSTAL is R RATED . The MPAA understood the satire -- you not -- you dumb fuck

I take some of what I said back: Uwe Boll can in fact be hilarious!

Uwe Boll wrote:

Chris wrote that article in bad faith to damage me. His whole goal is to destroy my business. If he cannot see that scenes (for example WELFARE OFFICE, Job Interview) are genius in that movie - then there are 2 possibilities: he is dump and has no idea what movies are or he hates me and is dissappointed about his own shitty career.

He ignored also that the audience enjoyed the movie and tons of other critics LOVED it.

Uwe Boll wrote:

chris ...read your own article again .... this has nothing to do with the film ...only with a piss off journalist

Uwe Boll wrote:

your article is an insult and honours zero the movie, the filmmaker etc.....

http://blog.wired.com/games/2007/08/you-dumb-fck-uw.html

I realize now that Uwe Boll is really RegalSin. Why didn't I see it before!? Shocked

Posted: Sep 19 2007 10:56 am

...maybe there's some credibility to RegalSin being related to Boll afterall.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 03:10 pm

Char Aznable wrote:

Oh, sweet Jesus, this movie is going to suck. (We need shaking head in shame emoticons).

I have a pretty cool Donkey Kong one. Plus, my forums host has a shitload of emoticons so I can check 'em out if Syd wants to add one.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 03:17 pm

C Kohler posts at another forum I go to, and his Uwe Boll thread was high comedy. I don't know that I've seen a Boll film, but you gotta appreciate his interactions with the public. :p

Posted: Sep 19 2007 03:21 pm

Postal is going to rock.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 03:45 pm

MOGHARR wrote:

I have a pretty cool Donkey Kong one. Plus, my forums host has a shitload of emoticons so I can check 'em out if Syd wants to add one.

Yeah, if you have a bunch of emoticons, feel free to link to them and/or e-mail them to me and I'll add whichever ones I like.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 05:00 pm

So, out of the 100+ emoticons my host provides me with, there aren't any shaking their heads. I suppose making more smily threesomes is their first priority. Anyways, here's DK.

And Pokey the Penguin since he's so badass.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 05:25 pm

I think that Boll actually is Regal. Think about it. Boll was traversing the internets (since he has no life outside of his shitty films), and found a website where someone said he rocks. He shit himself with joy, and then joined.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

I have yet to see Boll's films but I've read plenty of rants on them to get an idea for what the experience is like. All i can say is: stay the hell away from Metroid, Uwe.

Posted: Sep 19 2007 11:16 pm

Pokey the Penguin is awesome.

Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

The Onion just posted an interview with him, in promotion of Postal. It's an interesting read: http://www.avclub.com/content/interview/uwe_boll

Posted: Sep 20 2007 02:47 pm

The interview almost had me sold, until I read this:

Quote:

AVC: Ron Perlman was also attached at one time, right?

UB: He was, but then he got Hellboy 2. I wanted to have him as Uncle Dave, but then Dave Foley played him. Both of them would be great, but Dave Foley really went for it. He even went for a full-frontal nudity scene, which was surprising for me also. I was sitting behind my video desk and couldn't believe it! He did it without telling me. He was supposed to get up from his bed and close his bathrobe, but he didn't close it. We were all sitting there laughing our ass off. He played it super-cool. It's those kind of offensive scenes that make Postal special, because it's harsher than what we're used to from even the Farrelly brothers' comedies. It's like one step more than even Borat. Postal is like Borat without the black bars. [Laughs.]

If there is one thing I never want to see, it's Dave Foley's junk.

Posted: Sep 20 2007 09:14 pm

Syd Lexia wrote:

If there is one thing I never want to see, it's Dave Foley's junk.

Haven't we seen enough of Dave Foley already?

Posted: Sep 21 2007 01:28 am

Uwe Boll likes to see Dave Foleys junk.

Posted: Sep 21 2007 01:17 pm

Uwe Boll is Dave Foley's junk.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

RobotGumshoe wrote:

Uwe Boll likes to see Dave Foleys junk.

Tebor wrote:

Uwe Boll is Dave Foley's junk.

Posted: Mar 06 2008 07:27 pm

sorry for the bump but this pertained to uwe boll being stupid again:

1up.com wrote:

What film could possibly be silly enough to go up against the latest Indiana Jones flick in its opening weekend? Like you had to ask! According to a post on movie site Bloody Disgusting, Uwe Boll's new Postal movie will be opening in wide release on May 23rd, the same day as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

When the decision was questioned, Boll provided Bloody Disgusting with an interesting response as to why he made this choice:

Uwe Boll wrote:

"On the Indiana Jones weekend -- May 23 -- we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up -- would Michael Moore say! Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the f*** the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

To Boll's credit, he's not a native English speaker, but most of his movies have been in English, and we're positive we've seen interviews where he's been at least 80% more coherent than that quote. Either way, we'll see for ourselves just how well Postal stacks up to Indy in the box offices come May -- and you better believe we'll be watching. Until then, you can check out early reactions to Postal from various 1UP staffers.

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3166803

Posted: Mar 06 2008 08:23 pm

Jaws was not a sloppy movie. Well not until they blow up you know who. The n their is jaws slop all over the place.