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EpicFails travel guide.


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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 07:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

I've travelled a bit, so I've decided to review the countries I've been to, well, namely how drunk I got in each one.

All names have been changed to protect the innocent.


France. 1* Rating. National drink: Wine.

France was my first experience of alcohol. At the tender age of 12, and under the supposed supervision of a teacher. My friend *dave* and I procured a bottle of red wine. Drinking ages are vague in France. We drank it, I ate the foam covers from a pair of headfones, we were sick, *dave* tried to kiss me. NEVER GO TO FRANCE.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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Alowishus
Joined: Aug 04 2009
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 11:59 am Reply with quote Back to top

Uh wut?

Also not a very long list... Razz
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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:14 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The Falkland Islands. 5*rating. National drink: Stella Artois.

The falklands are a desolate pair of rocks located of the southern coast of Argentina. Needless to say I was not looking forward to working there. However I spent most of my time there dressed as a turtle (a suit made from a green sleeping bag). Whilst there I formed an elite secret society of hardcore drinkers known simply as 'Turtle Club'. Imagine if you will an orginisation similar to the Illuminati, but drunk. GO TO THE FALKLANDS.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Poland. 5*rating. National drink: Tskie.

Due to certain incidents I am not at liberty to discuss poland. GO THERE IMMEDIATLY.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Oman. 0* rating. National drink: Tea.

Hot, smelly and no alcohol. NEVER GO TO OMAN.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Estonia. 3* rating. National drink: Anything.

When I arrived in Estonia I was greeted by a man with a dog, taken to alittle room and given a cavity search, whilst I respect cultural differences a handshake would ha
ve sufficed. During my time in Estonia, *dave* climbed a hotel and stole several flags from poles upon the roof of the hotel. We were promptly arrested at gun point and treated to a customary Estonian greeting. And held in a prison cell until our flight home was ready. NEVER ALLOWED BACK TO ESTONIA.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:55 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Just make one post, holmes. Double, triple and quadruple posting are kind of a no-no.


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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 01:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Cool. I'm going to eat a Muller fruit corner anyway.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 04:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

joshwoodzy wrote:
Just make one post, holmes. Double, triple and quadruple posting are kind of a no-no.

yeah, its frowned upon. but it does make it easier to quote the one country rather than quote everything & then remove all the other crap when you only want to discuss the one country... such as:
EpicFail wrote:
Estonia. 3* rating. National drink: Anything.

When I arrived in Estonia I was greeted by a man with a dog, taken to alittle room and given a cavity search, whilst I respect cultural differences a handshake would have sufficed. During my time in Estonia, *dave* climbed a hotel and stole several flags from poles upon the roof of the hotel. We were promptly arrested at gun point and treated to a customary Estonian greeting. And held in a prison cell until our flight home was ready. NEVER ALLOWED BACK TO ESTONIA.

wow. sounds like Estonia is a terrible place haha


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Joined: Sep 13 2008
PostPosted: Dec 03 2011 06:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

EpicFail wrote:
Estonia. 3* rating. National drink: Anything.

When I arrived in Estonia I was greeted by a man with a dog, taken to alittle room and given a cavity search, whilst I respect cultural differences a handshake would ha
ve sufficed. During my time in Estonia, *dave* climbed a hotel and stole several flags from poles upon the roof of the hotel. We were promptly arrested at gun point and treated to a customary Estonian greeting. And held in a prison cell until our flight home was ready. NEVER ALLOWED BACK TO ESTONIA.

This sounds like an awesome trip
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Vaenamoenen
Joined: Mar 18 2010
Location: Tuonela
PostPosted: Dec 04 2011 08:07 am Reply with quote Back to top

EpicFail wrote:
Estonia. 3* rating. National drink: Anything.

When I arrived in Estonia I was greeted by a man with a dog, taken to alittle room and given a cavity search, whilst I respect cultural differences a handshake would ha
ve sufficed. During my time in Estonia, *dave* climbed a hotel and stole several flags from poles upon the roof of the hotel. We were promptly arrested at gun point and treated to a customary Estonian greeting. And held in a prison cell until our flight home was ready. NEVER ALLOWED BACK TO ESTONIA.


I've been to Estonia several times, and it's never like that. Laughing When was this? Before or after Estonias independence from Soviet Union? If that was in the early 90s, the story becomes somewhat possible.

The only real ways to get into trouble in Estonia today is to either booze & hookers or local mafia.

But really, Estonia is beautiful and nothing to be afraid of.
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EpicFail
Title: Lord of the Dance
Joined: Dec 02 2011
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Dec 04 2011 11:53 am Reply with quote Back to top

Vaenamoenen wrote:
I've been to Estonia several times, and it's never like that. Laughing When was this? Before or after Estonias independence from Soviet Union? If that was in the early 90s, the story becomes somewhat possible.

The only real ways to get into trouble in Estonia today is to either booze & hookers or local mafia.

But really, Estonia is beautiful and nothing to be afraid of.


It was Nov 2004. Maybe an indication as to why we got into trouble is the fact I formed a secret society for hardened drinkers. I also make a point to venture from the beaten track when I travel, i find all tourist 'safe' areas insipid.

Tallin was indeed a very beautiful city, although very seedy in certain areas.


Ohhhh how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP?
 
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