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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 2450
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LOL.
If I needed a roommate, I'd give them a shot. Sounds like it would be entertaining.
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
Posts: 3707
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Thats the coolest guy i have ever heard of. A real life Barney Stinson.
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 it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times |
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AtmanRyu
Title: The Wandering Dragon
Joined: Jun 25 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 986
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aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
Posts: 2041
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He spelled konnichiwa wrong. 
Seriously though, sounds like a fun guy.
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天上天下唯我独尊 |
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16127
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this guy rules. im gonna copypasta that when i move out
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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You just watch, he'll rape whoever he moves in with.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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Since Craigslist postings only last so long, here's the full post, for posterity:
| Quote: |
Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.
I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesdays with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!
Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!
A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?
I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!
Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
EDIT: Craigslist decided to hook my shit back up, and I'm tweeting now. Follow me. Or don't. It's up to you.
http://twitter.com/BestRoomyEver
http://www.facebook.com/BestRoomyEver |
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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I'd kill that guy within 3 minutes of him moving in. He sounds obnoxious.
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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Of course he is, people who sing their own praise usually are!
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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He sounds like Master Shake. Or rather, he sounds like how Master Shake would describe himself.
In theory, I'd love having Master Shake as a roommate. In theory.
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SNESGuy
Title: El Duderino
Joined: Jul 31 2010
Location: Da D.C
Posts: 1831
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
He sounds like Master Shake. Or rather, he sounds like how Master Shake would describe himself.
In theory, I'd love having Master Shake as a roommate. In theory. |
Id love to be you meatwad in theory, wait that sounds dirty 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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No you fucking wouldn't, I had a room mate like that.
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King
Title: CTE
Joined: Apr 27 2008
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 1506
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Seriously, I would want this guy as my roommate if I lived on campus as a Senior in college, Why you ask? Because if the rule as discussed in the movie, Dead Man on Campus, existed at whichever institution I was attending, and he died, and believe me he would be dying, then I would be off Scot free with a 4.0 for at least my final semester
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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| King wrote: |
| Seriously, I would want this guy as my roommate if I lived on campus as a Senior in college, Why you ask? Because if the rule as discussed in the movie, Dead Man on Campus, existed at whichever institution I was attending, and he died, and believe me he would be dying, then I would be off Scot free with a 4.0 for at least my final semester |
Relevant link. In short...nope.
UsaSatsui - ruining jokes on the Sydlexia forums since 2008.
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King
Title: CTE
Joined: Apr 27 2008
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 1506
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Damn
I can say though that the college I went to in the late 90's did, on one occasion, which I think snopes does cover, give one girl a 4.0 when she came back on a Sunday night after going home for the weekend to find her roomie dead of suicide (hanging from the ceiling). THAT though is scary traumatic, and besides it would not be homicide if this guy died, it would either be some sort of freak electrical accident, or self defense, What?
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