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Mum, The Bear is Eatting me.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 07:42 am Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:
I read this story two days ago and I have been cringing and thinking about it since. This is the shit nightmares are made of.

This is why I proudly advocate the "being outdoors is fucking weak" platform. What the fuck is the point of being outdoors? You'll get sunburned, you'll get bug bites, you'll get mauled by bears, and you can't play Nintendo. Being outside is for animals only. Being inside is where it's at, and it's where civilized people stay.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 07:45 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
I read this story two days ago and I have been cringing and thinking about it since. This is the shit nightmares are made of.

This is why I proudly advocate the "being outdoors is fucking weak" platform. What the fuck is the point of being outdoors? You'll get sunburned, you'll get bug bites, you'll get mauled by bears, and you can't play Nintendo. Being outside is for animals only. Being inside is where it's at, and it's where civilized people stay.

I told this story to my wife and she didn't seem bothered by it at all. I think thats because she is one of those indoor civilized people.



 
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 08:40 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
I read this story two days ago and I have been cringing and thinking about it since. This is the shit nightmares are made of.

This is why I proudly advocate the "being outdoors is fucking weak" platform. What the fuck is the point of being outdoors? You'll get sunburned, you'll get bug bites, you'll get mauled by bears, and you can't play Nintendo. Being outside is for animals only. Being inside is where it's at, and it's where civilized people stay.


Yeah civilized people...and vampires.
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 09:38 am Reply with quote Back to top

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:
Syd Lexia wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
I read this story two days ago and I have been cringing and thinking about it since. This is the shit nightmares are made of.

This is why I proudly advocate the "being outdoors is fucking weak" platform. What the fuck is the point of being outdoors? You'll get sunburned, you'll get bug bites, you'll get mauled by bears, and you can't play Nintendo. Being outside is for animals only. Being inside is where it's at, and it's where civilized people stay.

Yeah civilized people...and vampires.

right. cuz staying indoors guarantees you'll live forever


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 12:48 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Uh, it does. That and eating expired cereal to build up your immune system.
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 12:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I had a good balance of playing outdoors and staying inside to play Nintendo as a kid and I continue that today. When I look back on my childhood, the outdoor fun, the swimming in rivers, the camping, the cave exploring all stand high and above playing Nintendo. If my childhood was devoid of all outdoor experiences, I'd have probably turned into a serial murderer


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Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 01:08 pm Reply with quote Back to top

joshwoodzy wrote:
I had a good balance of playing outdoors and staying inside to play Nintendo as a kid and I continue that today. When I look back on my childhood, the outdoor fun, the swimming in rivers, the camping, the cave exploring all stand high and above playing Nintendo. If my childhood was devoid of all outdoor experiences, I'd have probably turned into a serial murderer

Very much this.

Except replace rivers with beach and caves with building tree forts.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 01:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

joshwoodzy wrote:
I had a good balance of playing outdoors and staying inside to play Nintendo as a kid and I continue that today. When I look back on my childhood, the outdoor fun, the swimming in rivers, the camping, the cave exploring all stand high and above playing Nintendo. If my childhood was devoid of all outdoor experiences, I'd have probably turned into a serial murderer

See Syd!

It isn't that bad, Woodzy has only been eaten by bears on 4 occasions.



 
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 01:45 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That was in my stupid hippie phase where I thought I could peacefully coexist with bears for years and years and thought that one day they wouldn't just fucking eat me. Because they are bears.

Actually, that wasn't me at all.

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aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 02:30 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I sincerely wish this thread would die so I could quit seeing it in this forum and quit being reminded that I outlived a 19 year old girl by not getting eaten alive by bears.


天上天下唯我独尊
 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 03:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I actually did spend a decent amount of time outside as a kid, and it was fun. But as an adult, the outdoors have absolutely nothing to offer me. The only time I'd be inclined to be outside really is at some sort of house party or cookout, or at Disney World. Disney World is like a fixed version of outside with no bugs or bears and with plenty of shade.
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 03:16 pm Reply with quote Back to top

disneyland has very little shade and too many people. but, it still is the happiest place on earth.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Beach Bum
Joined: Dec 08 2010
Location: At the pants party.
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 03:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah the outside isn't as much fun for me as an adult. I mean even as a kid I'd have to watch how long I was out anyway because I burn so easily even with sun screen on but now I have practically no reason to be outside with the exception of get-togethers and walking to classes. On the plus side if I do venture outdoors there are many portable electronics that allow me to play video games or read out there, and there are very few bears in Illinois, with the exception of the Chicago Bears and those ones are lame.
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 03:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I've been to Disneyworld, and I'm positive that camping in the woods provides more shade. I'd also rather shit outside than in one of those disgusting public restrooms.

But anyways, bears. They eat people.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 05:10 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'd like to point out that serial killers are more likely to be outdoorsy types. I mean, you need to hunt for victims, you need to know where you can kill people without their screams being heard, and you need to have a dumping ground. All of those things are much easier to do outdoors. Also, a good serial killer needs to be able to adapt quickly and camping and shit helps prepare you for that.
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 05:16 pm Reply with quote Back to top

This thread got hilarious real fast.


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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Aug 22 2011 05:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

bullshit. you dont need to be outdoorsy at all to be a killer. the only time you would ever venture out would be to acquire said victim. otherwise, you can kill him indoors & chop him up indoors. and if you play enough puzzle games and FPS, you automatically learn how to adapt to quickly changing environments.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 02:11 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
I'd like to point out that serial killers are more likely to be outdoorsy types. I mean, you need to hunt for victims, you need to know where you can kill people without their screams being heard, and you need to have a dumping ground. All of those things are much easier to do outdoors. Also, a good serial killer needs to be able to adapt quickly and camping and shit helps prepare you for that.

What about Dahmer or Gacy or Holmes or Ramirez or Fish or BTK or Gein or that couple that Rope Burns was about? They certainly killed and hid or left the dead indoors, or at least in vans. Your're just focusing on the Bundy / Green River types, but really there's all sorts out there.

Back on topic I love taking trips to the woods, so relaxing. I'd hate being stuck out there though.



 
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 03:56 am Reply with quote Back to top

I walk around all the time. It relaxes my mind. I don't like the possibilty of getting beaten up though.


it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times
 
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Mr. Satire
Joined: Jun 08 2010
Location: Termina Field
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 06:47 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
This is why I proudly advocate the "being outdoors is fucking weak" platform. What the fuck is the point of being outdoors? You'll get sunburned, you'll get bug bites, you'll get mauled by bears, and you can't play Nintendo. Being outside is for animals only. Being inside is where it's at, and it's where civilized people stay.

Finally! A way I can justify my ways of staying inside almost always whenever possible! Very Happy


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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 09:13 am Reply with quote Back to top

At least bears won't try to rape you. Bigfoot doesn't give a fuck, he just sees your ass and wants it. Pretty much the same with the yeti, but only in snowy mountains. Just keep an emergency salmon in case a bear comes around, that should keep them away.


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aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 10:02 am Reply with quote Back to top

Blackout wrote:
What about Dahmer or Gacy or Holmes or Ramirez or Fish or BTK or Gein or that couple that Rope Burns was about?

Ed Gein is attributed to killing maybe three people, and as such rarely fits the model of a serial killer. The multitude of bones and bodies found in his house were actually dug up from a nearby cemetery.


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Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 11:20 am Reply with quote Back to top

I've had the itch to go camping recently, and thankfully there aren't too many bears in FL.

But we do have Boars, and they are scary. When I was in Boyscouts I had one chase me and I had to climb up the little cement bathroom area and sit on top of it until it got bored and left. That thing had some angry looking tusks.
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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 12:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I've spent weeks out in the woods before and I must say, I've only killed people for food. In doors, it's for the sexual thrill... wait

Also on the bears, did they do ANYTHING to provoke them? I went to a area where bears were common and the rangers I talked to all said the same thing "If you see a bear, don't make any sudden movements, allow them to eat any food and don't try to be a hero and make noises." Then at night a damn bear and her cubs came up and stole or dinner rolls, jumped twenty feet into a tree and ate them. I've got pictures somewhere...
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Aug 23 2011 12:41 pm Reply with quote Back to top

atomjacked wrote:
Just keep an emergency salmon in case a bear comes around, that should keep them away.

But then you'll smell like salmon, and the bear will eat you too.
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