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Find the bad GameFAQs review


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 11:17 am Reply with quote Back to top

Sometimes, when I'm really really bored, I'll look at user reviews of classic games on GameFAQs and play what I like to call "Find The Douchebag". The principle is simple: no matter how good a game is, there'll always be some complete moron who doesn't like it for some reason.

Some of them are hilarious in their stupidity and some are infuriating. Almost all of them make you feel bad for the person who wrote it, because that person clearly doesn't understand what gaming is all about. Here a few random ones:

Diablo II (4/10): http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/review/R48250.html
Super Mario Bros. (6/10): http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/nes/review/R71970.html
Castlevania (3/10): http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/nes/review/R36932.html
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 12:10 pm Reply with quote Back to top



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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 12:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I like how in the Mario one he says "A princess is kidnapped and Mario must save her. Where have I heard this before?" Unless he's talking about Donkey Kong where he was called Jump Man and the girl wasn't a princess to my knowledge, he didn't hear it anywhere BEFORE Super Mario Brothers. Sidescrolling games have never really been about story anyway. It's also bizarre to give it a 1 for graphics saying how horrible they are even though they were fine for the time, but then give it a perfect score for controls. Mario was actually pretty unresponsive back then. Sure we were used to it at the time, but we were used to worse graphics and stories too.

#edit: What's the point in writing a game review like almost 20 years after the game came out, anyway?


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UltimateFierce
Title: Nippon Yankee
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Right here...
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 12:39 pm Reply with quote Back to top

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/psx/review/R26821.html

I'm gonna murder that retard who wrote it.


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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 12:44 pm Reply with quote Back to top

haha i love doing the same this, also, fantavision wasn't that bad


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Tebor
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Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 01:40 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dr. Jeebus wrote:
#edit: What's the point in writing a game review like almost 20 years after the game came out, anyway?

Why write reviews for movies that have already been released?


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BlackWings
Joined: Feb 01 2007
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 02:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/psx/review/R88338.html

If you search on the dictionary the meaning for bitter, you'll find the name of the guy who wrote this crap.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 02:35 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Here's another amazingly stupid one, Golden Axe (3/10):

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/genesis/review/R108372.html

"Now heres the thing, I am not the best person to be reviewing this. I suck at this game, but I bothered to review it so I got to do this. Now don't get me wrong. I like difficuilt games. I beat the NG series and the DMC series too. I've played a wide array of difficuilt games. Well I can't say wide.. Not alot of hard games anymore. Man I miss the day's of the nes. But this is so hard its cheap. As I said you attack slowely and sadly if you use the normal attacks you will get surrounded and its goodbye life. Most attacks are useless, enemies can combo you over and over again, and well.. Its just plain cheap in my opinion."

Did he just say that Devil May Cry was difficult? God have mercy...
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UltimateFierce
Title: Nippon Yankee
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Right here...
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 02:51 pm Reply with quote Back to top

People on GameFAQs are idiots.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 02:54 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Not everyone. A lot of the reviews are dumb though. Most of them are either fanboys talking about why some game is the best game ever or people trying too hard to be funny or cool by writing the most negative review possible. Then you have the people who just go around DLing random obscure games and reviewing them.
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Delition
Title: That guy over there.
Joined: Mar 14 2007
Location: A pathetic city.
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 03:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I may post reviews on GameFAQs, but I'm not going to sit there and insult decent (or in most cases great) games just because I don't have anything better to do.

I'm going to sit there and insult bad games, like the new Tony Hawk game, just because I don't have anything better to do.

How can anyone not like MGS, or Super Mario Bros.? I may be a "hater" when it comes to most games, but even I enjoy a lot of the games posted above.


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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 03:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I love watching Star War's. It's a great movie.

And if Devil May Cry is a difficult series, I'm a unicycle-riding giraffe.

And to the Final Fantasy VII guy: Didn't FFII start out in the middle of a plot point? I distinctly remember starting out in a battle, fighting Black Knights and getting pwned, you dumbass.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 03:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

III and IV did as well.
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Mr. Bomberman
2009 Forum Champion
Title: (still) token black.
Joined: Jan 27 2006
Location: Home of the lost towers
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 09:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I remember on that site, some guy gave Pop'n TwinBee a 3/10. I want to kill that guy with a blue bell.


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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Mar 22 2007 09:54 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The Diablo 2 review guy wasn't an idiot, he was absolutely correct. The Mario guy was a dipshit. I didn't read the Castlevania one.

Diablo 2 is boring because your character is only as good as your items. That's fucking gay. It means there's no skill involved in playing besides who's the fattest loser who plays for longer getting the items. Dumb.
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classicâ„¢
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Mar 23 2007 08:26 am Reply with quote Back to top

Diablo 2 is a fun game, but yeah, my friend Dustin is always boasting about how his character is soooo powerful, and I say "That's because you have no life other than Diablo and World of Warcraft, you fuckstick."


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Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 23 2007 11:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

Tebor wrote:
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
#edit: What's the point in writing a game review like almost 20 years after the game came out, anyway?

Why write reviews for movies that have already been released?

That's not a fair comparison. A better one would be liking writing a review today of Super Mario Bros. to writing a review of The Wizard of Oz.


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
UsaSatsui wrote:
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus

 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Mar 24 2007 11:00 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Char Aznable wrote:
I love watching Star War's. It's a great movie.

And if Devil May Cry is a difficult series, I'm a unicycle-riding giraffe.

And to the Final Fantasy VII guy: Didn't FFII start out in the middle of a plot point? I distinctly remember starting out in a battle, fighting Black Knights and getting pwned, you dumbass.


devil may cry III was kind of hard. devil may cry II was impossible....




it was impossible to enjoy Cool


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tomrussell
Title: Chief Bottle -Washer
Joined: Mar 11 2007
Location: Michigan
PostPosted: Mar 25 2007 10:47 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dr. Jeebus wrote:
Tebor wrote:
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
#edit: What's the point in writing a game review like almost 20 years after the game came out, anyway?

Why write reviews for movies that have already been released?

That's not a fair comparison. A better one would be liking writing a review today of Super Mario Bros. to writing a review of The Wizard of Oz.


And people do write reviews of the Wizard of Oz, to this day; the difference is, they call them "essays" or "articles" instead of reviews, and thus are taken more seriously. :- )

I personally would like to see magazines and websites devote high-quality, in-depth, serious attention to the truly great games-- and not just regulated to a two-page "Yesterday" or "Retro" spread. I'd love for there to be a "New Yorker" or a "Harper's" for Gamers-- or even the same quality level of the classier film magazines. But I've yet to find it, at least in print.

As far as websites go, well, I think this one's the closest thing I've found to the level of depth I've been looking for. The only two differences I can see between the New Yorker and SydLexia.com are:

One, the comics here actually make sense, and

Two, SydLexia.com has slightly more swearing.

Which, I think, actually makes it better than the New Yorker.
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