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Greatest Headline Ever?


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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:23 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Man killed by armed bird at California cockfight, was stabbed by rooster with attached knife.

DELANO, California (AP) — A man who was at an illegal cockfight in central California died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb, officials confirmed Monday.

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30, the Kern County coroner said.

An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental “sharp force injury” to his right calf.

Ochoa and the other spectators fled when authorities arrived at the scene of the fight, King told the newspaper. Deputies found five dead roosters and other evidence of cockfighting at the location, he said.

************************************

Absolutely awesome.
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

...except for the five dead roosters part.
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I bet no one had money bet on that outcome!



 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

So is it safe to say that this guy was Mexican? I mean, clicking on the title...you just knew.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:35 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Nobody could possibly be that fucking stupid... could they?



 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Who knows, maybe he was a Scandinavian tourist named Sven!



 
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aeonic
Title: Sporadic Poster
Joined: Nov 19 2009
Location: Kissimmee, FL
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 02:53 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I thought it was great. I want to see more of this. I saw the headline a few days ago and laughed and laughed.


Who likes role-playing games? Me. Way too goddamn much.
 
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 03:10 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Lol. Those birds, man. They cut you bad, soo bad.


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3DS is very good, and Wii U!

 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 03:12 pm Reply with quote Back to top

In all honesty that what he gets for making animals fight for his amusement.



 
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 03:14 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Also, I kinda want to see this wound.

This dude fucking died, 2 hours after being stabbed, in the calf, by a rooster?!?

Something just seems weird.


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3DS is very good, and Wii U!

 
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Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 03:18 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, I was going to say the same thing: how exactly does one die from a laceration in the calf?
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 03:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

maybe it got the popliteal artery (Thanks Wikipedia!)



 
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Sehkmaenzo
Joined: Jun 29 2010
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 05:06 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Maybe he was too ashamed to go to a doctor.
"You got shived by a rooster???" Razz
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 05:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

haha. awesome.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 08:11 pm Reply with quote Back to top

It should have said Man stabbed by cock, dies.



 
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Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 10:53 pm Reply with quote Back to top

There are major blood vessels in your legs, you can bleed out pretty quick


<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/
 
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Tomdincan
Title: Test Icicle
Joined: Oct 02 2010
Location: Temple Shalina
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 11:14 pm Reply with quote Back to top

^Yes. Something nicks your femoral artery just right, it doesn't take long.


I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high-functioning sociopath.
 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Feb 09 2011 11:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

He's an idiot for not only not going to the doc, but deciding against taking any precaution whatsoever after it started.
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LordHuffnPuff
Title: Mahna Mahna
Joined: Jan 12 2009
Location: Fairyland
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:01 am Reply with quote Back to top



More information may be found here.
 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:04 am Reply with quote Back to top

^ ha that is awesome.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:18 am Reply with quote Back to top

That is awesome Smile
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:44 am Reply with quote Back to top

Tomdincan wrote:
^Yes. Something nicks your femoral artery just right, it doesn't take long.


Agreed, but your femoral artery is not in your calf.


My Muzaks! CHECK IT OUT!!!
http://www.facebook.com/hellodharmaband

3DS is very good, and Wii U!

 
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Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 07:16 am Reply with quote Back to top

Andrew Man wrote:
Tomdincan wrote:
^Yes. Something nicks your femoral artery just right, it doesn't take long.


Agreed, but your femoral artery is not in your calf.


Andrew beat me to it again. There are no major arteries that run through your calf and the muscle is large and very dense. I really don't think it's possible to bleed out from the calf from a single stab wound.

I mean, it'd be like bleeding out from your bicep; it doesn't make sense.
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Kable
Title: I'm a tumour
Joined: Dec 09 2009
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:16 pm Reply with quote Back to top

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8069053@N08/2204799669/

right from my country... "death of two persons and a bolivian"

a war almost goes off for this headline...


life is a sucsecion of hang-overs...

== TU ENEMIGO ETERNO ==
 
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Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
PostPosted: Feb 10 2011 01:50 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Now see if chickens were smart, they would wait until the knives get strapped on, then turn on their masters and stage a coup!


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