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Posted: Dec 21 2010 09:00 pm

I'd been waiting a long time for my brother's girlfriend to get home with dinner. It was A&W take-out. Since she didn't have a car, the burgers were cold by the time she got back. I decided to warm one up like I would a McDonald's burger, forgetting that A&W wraps theirs in foil. Immediately, the paper bag caught on fire. My brother's girlfriend put it out quickly and no one was hurt, but I'm still a bit shaken. Anyone else ever done anything along those lines?

Posted: Dec 21 2010 09:49 pm

My uncle set my aunts hair on fire one time does that count?

Posted: Dec 21 2010 10:18 pm

SnesGuy wrote:

My uncle set my aunts hair on fire one time does that count?

That's fucking terrible!

Once I set a pizza box on the stovetop and bumped the knob while walking past it, nearly burnt the Budget Inn to the ground!

Posted: Dec 21 2010 10:28 pm

One time my oldest brother was playing with one of those grill lighters and lit my second-oldest brother's sweatpants on fire to prove they were fire-retardant. They weren't. The fire was out in three seconds and no one was injured, but I can't remember if anyone got in trouble for the hole that resulted.

UsaSatsui's Youtube Channel · Posted: Dec 21 2010 10:31 pm

You didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning.

Seriously, yeah, I've had a couple of burner fires on the stove.

I remember working security at an apartment building one night, I heard a smoke alarm go off inside an apartment, and what I thought was running water, at 2 AM. I knock on the door, get no answer for 2 minutes, am about to call the FD when a guy opens the door up and there is SMOKE, his stove is on fire (and I don't mean a burner, I mean ON FIRE). I grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out.

What happened was, both residents were drunk as fuck. One (the one who answered the door) was passed out in the bathroom and I woke him up with my knocking. The other decided to make some rice, took off his pants, put them on the stove, and then took a nap (it was the pants that caught fire).

If I weren't walking past at that moment, coulda been ugly.

Posted: Dec 21 2010 10:57 pm

When I was sixteen, I was a carriage boy at a local supermarket. So this guy drives up one day in this beat to shit Jeep Grand Wagoneer, and it's smoking and making ungodly noises as he pulls into the parking lot. So he parks, and goes inside. This was 8:00 AM on a weekday during spring vacation, so it wasn't particularly busy. In fact, he was one of maybe three customers in the store at the time. So the car keeps on smoking. And it keeps on smoking. Then suddenly the hood catches fire. Now, I pretend I don't see it. In fact, I go around to the other side of the building to get carriages. Meanwhile, I'm hoping the car's going to explode and cause a chain reaction of car explosions like in the movies. Well, that doesn't happen. Another customers comes outside, then runs back inside and tells the cashier. She called the fire department, which was right down the street, and the car was extinguished before any explosions could happen. I was pretty disappointed.

Posted: Dec 21 2010 11:12 pm

I worked at a marina in high school, and part of my job was fueling boats. I still don't know how exactly this happened, but one of my co-workers was gassing up a boat when the tail end of it exploded. I still remember the instant fireball it caused. Nobody was hurt, but I remember the guy in the boat jumped over the front windshield, then tried to jump into the water but slipped and faceplanted on the front section of the boat. The worker gassing up the boat took off running, tripped on the gas hose, and went headfirst into the water.

It was kind of freaky because we were all scared the fire could reach the gas tank and cause a bigger explosion, so none of us wanted to get close to it to put it out. It wound up burning itself out before it reached the tank anyway.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:09 am

Well... I hate to admit this, but I have more than a few fire related stories, neither of which are my fault. I would rather not get accused of arson or lose something rather important I earned last week due to errant use of fire.

The first involves large model rockets, I'd guess about 4 feet tall. They both used size E engines (rather large). The engines were kinda old, so the ignition keys couldn't get them to light. I joking suggested using a blow torch. The guy took me seriously. So, when this guy put the blow torch to then engines and ran...Good thing too, because as the rockets took off, they caught on fire. The good news was that they didn't go too far. The bad news was that they still got about 20 feet into the air and were a pain to put out.

The second story just reinforces my point that lighter fluid should only be sold to people who pass a common sense test. My mother, whom I love, decided to put a half a bottle of the stuff on a dry wood fire in a fire pit about two feet in diameter. Why did she do this? She couldn't get it light in under 5 seconds with a lighter and decided the best way to deal with this issue was to douse the wood in half a freaking bottle of Kingsford lighter fluid. My dad, wanting to save everyone from my mother making the situation any more dangerous, sent me to take care of the situation. I took the bottle, hid what was left, and grabbed the metro section of the newspaper and the lighter from my mom. I lit the roll of paper on fire and gingerly set it in the fire pit, backing away quickly after that. One "Whoomfp!" later (accompanied with losing some of my arm hair), and I had the fire going just fine and dandy. My mother was not amused

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:13 am

Syd Lexia wrote:

When I was sixteen, I was a carriage boy at a local supermarket. So this guy drives up one day in this beat to shit Jeep Grand Wagoneer, and it's smoking and making ungodly noises as he pulls into the parking lot. So he parks, and goes inside. This was 8:00 AM on a weekday during spring vacation, so it wasn't particularly busy. In fact, he was one of maybe three customers in the store at the time. So the car keeps on smoking. And it keeps on smoking. Then suddenly the hood catches fire. Now, I pretend I don't see it. In fact, I go around to the other side of the building to get carriages. Meanwhile, I'm hoping the car's going to explode and cause a chain reaction of car explosions like in the movies. Well, that doesn't happen. Another customers comes outside, then runs back inside and tells the cashier. She called the fire department, which was right down the street, and the car was extinguished before any explosions could happen. I was pretty disappointed.

Hate to break it to you, Syd, but car don't really explode very often. They just usually burn up until nothing is left but the metal. Gasoline doesn't explode. Only the fumes do, and you would need to build up a lot of internal pressure in the gas tank to make explode Hollywood style.

Now, personally, I would love to see a fireworks factory catch fire...

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:29 am

Well... that's disappointing.

Joined: Sep 17 2010 Posts: 156

Syd Lexia wrote:

Well... that's disappointing.

Surprised you didn't know that. Though it is possible. Also, I can't believe you would do that instead of trying to call the fire department to save the mans car! Granted, it wasn't much of a car to begin with.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 01:18 am

I lit a birdhouse on fire once with a shop towel and 10 foot long pole. Stupid thing was sitting on an 8 foot wooden pole and it took some effort to keep that shit lit without dropping it on myself. Of course afterwards the hose wouldn't reach, so it had to burn itself out.

I did have a thing of instant mashed potatoes catch fire while I was cooking them. I turned to get something out of the dishwasher and it boiled over. The whole pot caught fire and I just kinda stared for a bit because it was sad to see perfectly good potatoes ruined. It sorted itself out after I flipped the burner off, which is good because I didn't know where the fire extinguisher was.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

when I was younger I tried to microwave rice in a tupperware bowl. I had headphones on and was reading a book, and was completely oblivious to the fact that the bowl melted and filled my house with toxic gas. I was alerted to this by my father, in his underwear, kicking down my door, grabbing me under his arm like luggage, and throwing me outside the house. He proceeded to do this do the rest of my family, in sets of twos.

Another time I set my own hair on fire whilst trying to light a cigarette on a stove top, and ANOTHER time I set MY SISTER'S hair on fire when I dropped a used match off a balcony.

a few weeks ago the fire department was at my job three times in the same day. The first time was because a customer had parked an RV in our parking lot, which was leaking fuel. My boss is pretty stupid, and walked over to investigate while smoking a cigarette. One of my coworkers literally had to snatch it out of her hand and throw it across the parking lot because she was so stupid. the second time was because the gas station attendant (yes, sam's has it's own gas station) was playing football with a water bottle and accidentally hit the emergency cutoff for the pumps. the third time was because somebody was smoking outside of the receiving doors, and went back in to change the radio station on the stereo without taking the cigarette out of their mouth.

I have more stories involving fire, should anyone want me to post more.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 01:57 am

I know how the melting plastic goes. I've burned a hole in a plastic plate before. Stupid thing was a regular dinner plate and claimed to be microwave safe but apparently was not safe enough to try to make popcorn on when the spinning tray was in the dishwasher. I've also melted those ziploc containers in the microwave before when the BBQ sauce on something got too hot. I of course didn't evacuate the building because I figured it didn't matter much.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 02:03 am

UsaSatsui wrote:

You didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning.

Seriously, yeah, I've had a couple of burner fires on the stove.

I remember working security at an apartment building one night, I heard a smoke alarm go off inside an apartment, and what I thought was running water, at 2 AM. I knock on the door, get no answer for 2 minutes, am about to call the FD when a guy opens the door up and there is SMOKE, his stove is on fire (and I don't mean a burner, I mean ON FIRE). I grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out.

What happened was, both residents were drunk as fuck. One (the one who answered the door) was passed out in the bathroom and I woke him up with my knocking. The other decided to make some rice, took off his pants, put them on the stove, and then took a nap (it was the pants that caught fire).

If I weren't walking past at that moment, coulda been ugly.

This is why I don't cook drunk!

Knyte wrote:

Now, personally, I would love to see a fireworks factory catch fire...

I'm sure you may have already seen it, but if not...

Posted: Dec 22 2010 03:27 am

UsaSatsui wrote:

You didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning.

DAMMIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE SATSUI BEAT ME TO THAT! Mad

Posted: Dec 22 2010 04:42 am

Natsu wrote:

Also, I can't believe you would do that instead of trying to call the fire department to save the mans car! Granted, it wasn't much of a car to begin with.

You don't know Syd very well...

Posted: Dec 22 2010 07:11 am

Not really fire, but when I worked at the BP station, I gave an associate one of my Arby's sandwiches. He proceeded to microwave it, but the idiot forgot to take the foil off the burger. Fortunately he wised up and opened it up within a few seconds of the light show to no damage.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 09:25 am

I got really, really drunk on New Years in 2002 (2003? I don't remember the year exactly) and was running around holding a mortar-style tube and firing it off into the air (fireworks are, or at least were, ridiculously easy to get in FL). Somebody yelled something at me, and when I turned to see who it was and what they wanted, one of the reports shot off and landed in a dumpster. That was the first time I've ever been asked not to come back into a party.

Joined: Mar 13 2009 Location: Arlington Posts: 467

I tried to make homemade french fries by boiling vegtable oil on the stove. In order to speed things up, I put a cover on the pot while the oil was heating up. When I went to see how things were coming along, I lifted up the cover and flames started pouring out.

I like to think of myself as calm under pressure, but I completely lost it. I started running around the kitchen yelling FIRE, FIRE! even though I was the only one home. Eventually I just picked up the flaming pot, carried it outside and set it down in the middle of the patio and just watched it burn out.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 10:24 am

I have started many fires, both accidentally and on purpose. I have a video tape somewhere in which a few friends and myself light each other on fire and see how long we can last before having to put the fire out. Then there's the video of us accidentally lighting my entire front yard on fire with rubber cement(which is really awesome because it will burn if you light it and throw it onto water). I have a friend who once lit a tree on fire in the middle of the woods, with gasoline... we tried to out it out, but that did not end very well... massive fire. I once decided to light beach grass on fire when I lived on the bay, and that was a very large fire that I watched from a distance. Then there were all those time I spit fireballs using butane for lighters and matches... pretty cool but the stuff tastes terrible. I have also accidentally set myself on fire when I was really drunk by trying to drink a flaming shot of some very strong vodka, and completely missed my face, lol. My friends and I also once set fire to an abandoned house next door to where I lived and that was another bad one, as I had to live without power and hot water for a month, and I never told my mom that it was us. I set all of my GI Joes on fire with a friend many years ago using a blow torch. We crucified them and then proceeded to melt them.

I don't really mess around with fire anymore because my dad committed suicide by lighting himself on fire, and I saw him very badly burned as he was dying in the hospital.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 10:43 am

I've had multiple fire incidents. Mostly at work, but a few at home.

On the ship, shit catches on fire all the time like thats a normal day. This is all that has happened during my 5 years on the ship that I can remember.

Radar Consoles will start sparking, smoking, and flames. x 2
Identify Friend or Foe Console spark and light up x 1
People putting cigarette pack wrappers in the butt can, causing the whole thing to catch on fire. MORE FUCKING TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT.
Grease Fires in the ship's Gally x 3
Dumpster Fires from people sneaking smokes on the pier and throwing them in dumpsters x 4
One random Contractor's Golf Cart COMPLETELY Ablaze. (No idea how it happened) x 1

Thats what I've seen or personally "fire-fought" against on the ship.

At home:
Stove top fires x 2
Oven Fire x 1

I've had my fair share of fires, and fire fighting. Its actually kinda fun, as long as no one gets hurt, and it isn't my shit on fire.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:31 pm

I was bored in my dorm one night and decided to light a tissue on fire. I was unaware how fast tissues go up in flames.

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:55 pm

My mother accidentally set a muffin on fire in the toaster oven, twice.

Um... that's about it. You guys are like pyromaniacs. Sad

Posted: Dec 22 2010 12:55 pm

Another time, Spanky McCracken and I almost burned down our friend's deck while doing a video project for history class. We were depicting the sinking of the Lusitania, so we filled up an aluminum pan with lighter fluid and put a paper boat in it. Then we, light it on fire. Once we were done filming, we got the hose to put the fire out. I bet you see where there is going. Lighter fluid is more lighter than water, so we ended up spreading the fire around the deck. Additional water did put it out before any noticeable damage was done to the deck. They were rich anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered.