This is in general good advice. If a police officer has decided to give you a ticket, though, he usually decides long before he walks up to your window...you probably won't be able to talk your way out of a ticket but you sure as hell can talk yourself into one.
I'd add two pieces of advice, though neither one helps you avoid tickets so much as fight them. First off, never flat-out confirm or deny anything the officer says. Denying it calls him a liar, which pisses him off, and even if he is wrong, contradicting the officer won't help much. Confirm it, and while the officer might "appreciate your honesty" and let you go, if you get the ticket, good luck fighting that bitch in court. If you must say something about it, something like "I didn't realize I was going that fast" is an example of a statement that doesn't contradict the officer, but isn't incriminating...but at best, try and be quiet.
Second, try not to be memorable. "The cop didn't show up for court" does happen, but not nearly as often as you'd like it to. And officers are far more likely to show up when you do something that reminds them of you, like curse them out.
In the article the part about being directed to the glovebox is really important. If the officer doesn't direct you to it, you should ask permission, "Officer my registration is in the glovebox, do you mind if I reach for it?"
Pretty much anything you do that puts their safety as a priority will earn you bonus points.
UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
Posted:
Sep 20 2010 03:20 pm
I try and get my license and registration out long before they get to the car. You know they're gonna ask.
I turn my dash light on first so they know what I'm up to.
In the article the part about being directed to the glovebox is really important. If the officer doesn't direct you to it, you should ask permission, "Officer my registration is in the glovebox, do you mind if I reach for it?"
Pretty much anything you do that puts their safety as a priority will earn you bonus points.
My goodness that was grand
It's not illegal, it might give you some cavities
aika
Title: Narcissist
Joined: Apr 25 2008
Location: On the table.
Posts: 2041
Posted:
Sep 20 2010 04:55 pm
InvaderDim wrote:
My goodness that was grand
Took the words right out of my mouth.
天上天下唯我独尊
Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
Posts: 4209
Posted:
Sep 20 2010 05:27 pm
My day has been made.
https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 2450
Posted:
Sep 20 2010 09:38 pm
Hahahahahaha
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Sep 20 2010 10:16 pm
If the officer is female, say "nice tits". Women like compliments, and it makes them feel pretty.
Keep some gravy in the glovebox. Cops love gravy. Just offer them some when they come up to your window, they'll take it and let you go. Works every time, guaranteed.
aeonic
Title: Sporadic Poster
Joined: Nov 19 2009
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Posts: 2747
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 11:20 am
@om*d wrote:
Keep some gravy in the glovebox. Cops love gravy. Just offer them some when they come up to your window, they'll take it and let you go. Works every time, guaranteed.
Isn't that from David Cross? Tales of adventure!
Who likes role-playing games? Me. Way too goddamn much.
Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 12:37 pm
GPFontaine wrote:
This is the video they were referencing:
In the article the part about being directed to the glovebox is really important. If the officer doesn't direct you to it, you should ask permission, "Officer my registration is in the glovebox, do you mind if I reach for it?"
Pretty much anything you do that puts their safety as a priority will earn you bonus points.
Is that crabman in the video?
Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 01:50 pm
Syd Lexia wrote:
If the officer is female, say "nice tits". Women like compliments, and it makes them feel pretty.
I bet "I wouldn't kick you out of bed" would work as well.
Cracked.com wrote:
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas.
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 02:06 pm
When you guys start saying stuff like that to female officers please be sure to have a video camera rolling. You will get paid by Break.com.
Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 02:11 pm
"Are you trying to bribe me?"
"No, I thought you were a prostitute."
Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards.
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 04:07 pm
Get one of these so you will be totally in the right when you ask the cop if they smell bacon too.
Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
Posts: 4209
Posted:
Sep 21 2010 09:04 pm
Whatever happened to cops and donuts?
https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
Posts: 4226
Posted:
Sep 22 2010 02:38 am
aeonic wrote:
@om*d wrote:
Keep some gravy in the glovebox. Cops love gravy. Just offer them some when they come up to your window, they'll take it and let you go. Works every time, guaranteed.
Isn't that from David Cross? Tales of adventure!
Perhaps. I read it somewhere years ago and couldn't remember where it was from, just that it was awesome and appropriate to this topic.
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Sep 22 2010 06:54 am
Undeath wrote:
Syd Lexia wrote:
If the officer is female, say "nice tits". Women like compliments, and it makes them feel pretty.
I bet "I wouldn't kick you out of bed" would work as well.
I usually get off with the military thing but one time I got pulled over in my dress blues driving back with two other Marines from a funeral. The douche then talks to me for ten minutes and still wrote me a ticket. When he handed it to me he tried to keep talking but I rolled up the window and took off. Redneck ass-hat.
joshwoodzy wrote:
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
Joe_Killer
Title: Professional Amature
Joined: Oct 10 2006
Location: Camp Lejeune, NC
Posts: 86
Posted:
Sep 30 2010 10:52 am
Asking them "When's the last time you discharged that tazer, Officer?" will land you one of the most awkward faces you've ever seen.
"It's time for some unicorn on the cob."
Atma
Title: Dragoon
Joined: Apr 29 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 2450
Posted:
Sep 30 2010 11:25 am
Ash Burton wrote:
I usually get off with the military thing but one time I got pulled over in my dress blues driving back with two other Marines from a funeral. The douche then talks to me for ten minutes and still wrote me a ticket. When he handed it to me he tried to keep talking but I rolled up the window and took off. Redneck ass-hat.
Yeah, the uniform normally gets you out of it. But some of them are still complete assholes.
UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
Posted:
Sep 30 2010 11:59 am
When I worked in security, or at the TSA, I never got a ticket while in uniform.
I'm guessing I never got pulled over by a cop who didn't realize a pissed off security guard can mean the difference between "Sure, officer, I'll let you right in!" and "Fuck off and get a warrant."
