I wrote a paper on you guys, the chat room anyway. Site isn't mentioned by name, just chatters. If you don't like your portrayal or anything I've written, please think long and hard, open a PM to me, and kindly fuck yourself. Criticism is alright. Don't bitch if I didn't put you in it, chances are I forgot or just couldn't think of much to say about you.
The internet is widely used for communications and the exchange of information around the world. I use it to watch fat kids fall off things and talk to people I’ve never met in person and exchange said videos with them. They’re some of the best and weirdest people I’ve met, and I’ll describe a few of them here.
First up is the man who’s always in the room on IRC, a man known only as FigNewton. He’s from Canada, and if I have my information right, he’s an ocular albino. I could look up what that means, but that would ruin the mystery. We do know it renders him legally blind though. He’s in the chat room every day and every night. We have no idea what he does, but he’s an incredibly nice person and was recently deemed sane enough to be in charge of the room whenever he’s logged in, which is pretty much forever.
Next up is my best friend in the room and go-to man for strange music I’ve never heard of, Cameron. He lives in Missouri, in a small town about 6 hours away so if I felt like it I could probably go bother him. He’s a year younger than me and is pretty cool, and he loves him some puns. I don’t think he has a mean bone in his body, and he knows everything about indie bands and bands that don’t get much airplay anymore. His hair is also kind of awesome, and he’s probably my favorite person in the room.
The token girl in the room is named Aika. She’s from Nebraska, and was a TA at some college. She’s older than most in the room, at 25, and enjoys flirting with the more awkward members of the chat to mess with them, especially the chat room chew toy, a 17 year old known as hacker. She likes anime and J-pop, and finding pictures of sexy Asian men, much to the chagrin of most chatters. She usually bothers the next person I’ll talk about.
A man whose name I can only say is CB, he’s from Colorado, and he just started college. He started a few much loved topics on the forum, not many of which can be mentioned by name as they’re not work safe, which is the same reason his full name goes unmentioned. Has a strange friendship with Aika, in which both of them flirt strangely with each other. He’s also into swing dancing, which is pretty hard to do, but apparently there’s nothing else to do where he lives.
To expound on the person mentioned in Aika’s paragraph, hacker is a teenage boy from Utah. He’s Mormon, a swimmer, and is apparently good at fixing computers, although this cannot be confirmed by any forumers I know of as he usually gets stopped and told to let someone who fixes them for a living help. He’s awkward, shy, and, in his early days of the forum/chat, he was a bit of a troll, which has led to his position of site chew toy, as stated above. He has a custom title on the forum of “Banned” as a joke for a few moderators who want him gone, but cannot get rid of him. He is the occasional enemy of the next two, who are in charge of the chat room.
The people in charge of this band of misfits and weirdoes that I associate with are Fernin and UsaSatsui, the Operators of the chat. Fernin, or Fer, is a laid back kind of guy, unless you happen to be a few certain members of the room/forum or you’re messing up the D&D game he runs. He has a webcomic that updates pretty much when he gets around to it, although he attempts to stay on schedule, so it could be worse. UsaSatsui, or just Satsui, is a bit of a harsher Operator, preferring to get rid of annoyances or yell at them when they appear instead of toying with them. He runs the Forum Battles and whatever else he feels like, and is seen in the chat with the name of [anything]Bunny, due to his love of and possibly being a rabbit. We’re not very sure.
To finish, those are the people I spend hours in front of a monitor talking to, and I never feel like I’ve wasted time when I look at the clock and realize I spent 5 hours doing nothing but chatting. I wouldn’t leave it for anything.