So there's a dead dog floating around in space? I am fearful that when manga-inspired aliens encounter our planet, they will resurrect Laika, increasing its size a hundredfold and set it against us as some sort of modern Cerebus.

You know, I should probably actually campaign, huh? Well, listen up, nitwits, because I've got something to say. I would like to issue the following statement:

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is Syd Lexia, as of course, most of you know. I have a lot of unfinished business in the South. First and foremost in my mind is taking care of that dumb hillbilly Lord Sathien and his buddy Nekkoru. I really wanna take care of them, that's most important to me, but I'm going to put that on the backburner for now and I wanna talk to you people out there, you people who live down here in the South, in the good ol' South portion of U-nited States. I wanna talk to you, and I wanna help you. Every week, I'm going to be coming on here, on these forums, and I'm gonna give you little tips about how you can better your lives, and how I can bring you up from the level you're in right now and bring you up from the squalor that you're living in, the gutter and the garbage that your lives are.



These are bars of soap. Now, do these look familiar to any of you? I know that you probably don't know what a bar of soap is, that probably you haven't ever seen one of these before. But it is called soap. As a matter of fact, if you're sitting at home right now, maybe you can kind of repeat after me and say "soap". Say "soap". S-O-A-P. Soap. Not "sowpe". Not "say-ope". It's "sope", okay?

You people, your hands are so greasy and slimy! I mean, I don't wanna shake 'em. You ask me for an autograph, I'll sign you an autograph. But please, don't put out your hand and shake it, until you can wash your hands. Now this is what you do. Wet your hands, okay? Then, wet the soap. Wash the soap, rub it on your hands, rub it around, and your hands will get clean. Now, the soap comes in a box. You're going to need to take it out the box, first? I know some of you might get a little confused if I didn't say that.

You probably may not be aware of this, but this is a very big problem in the South - a foul, foul smell in the air. Just take a whiff right now, as you're reading this, just take a sniff. Take a whiff, you smell that? Aw, it's terrible!



Ladies and gentlemen, this... is toilet paper. It is sold. All you gotta do is buy it and use it. And you people SHOULD use it. And I guarantee you, that will stop the foul smell, it will bring the smell up to a level that at least the air in the South will be almost breathable.

Now that that's out of the way, I can get back to Sathien and Nekkoru. I'm gonna kick your asses up and down these forums. END OF STORY.

Yeah, on a hot day Boston Harbor smells like rancid tea and patriotism. But mostly rancid tea.

Atma, I have nothing to offer, except Batman/FF4 crossovers:

Hey asshole, don't double post.