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Scientists to map Ozzy Osbourne's DNA


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Rycona
Moderator
Title: The Maestro
Joined: Nov 01 2005
Location: Away from Emerald Weapon
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 11:36 am Reply with quote Back to top

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20007859-71.html?part=rss&subj=news&tag=2547-1_3-0-20

cnet wrote:
A genome sequencing company will try discover how--after a lifetime of bodily abuse--this man is still among the living.


I find this very interesting. The article says the processing and analyzing the data will take three months. Who knows what kind of knowledge we could gain from this? Maybe we'll find the "crazy drug binge" gene.

I will say though, that they should have gone to Keith Richards as well. They could cross-reference their genomes and find all kinds of weird shit.


RIP Hacker.
 
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Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 12:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah clearly Keith Richards contains the key to eternal life in his DNA


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REVIEWS, LEGOS, NONSENSE Check out Zarak's Barracks!

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bassguy252
Title: Professional Malcontent
Joined: May 26 2010
Location: Mount Dhoom!!!!!!!
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 12:33 pm Reply with quote Back to top

these guys arent alive anymore, its just the drugs


Let's assume it's a mixture of the two!


 
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JStrangiato
Title: El Hombre Strangiato
Joined: Jun 12 2007
Location: Texas
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 12:46 pm Reply with quote Back to top

They should probably get Dave Mustaine, Anthony Kiedis, and Lemmy's DNA, those guys have been through a lot, too. Although Lemmy never did that many drugs (alcohol and medicinal speed were just about his only vices), but the main purpose of retrieving his DNA would be to clone him. That way, Lemmy really could live forever!...sort of.


My music/humor blog (R.I.P.): http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/
Chondra "Mrs. Claudio" Sanchez on Enshin a.k.a. Jake Strangiato wrote:
I really like this person.

 
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LowEndLem
Title: Not Gay
Joined: Mar 19 2009
Location: Illinois
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 01:13 pm Reply with quote Back to top

We NEED Lemmy's DNA.

The man drinks harder than Ozzy on a daily basis.


<docinsano>i beat off using save states

<Tako> But, brontosaurs ate plants. It wouldn't be a threat to Jesus.

Why? Fuck you, that's why.
 
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 01:54 pm Reply with quote Back to top

It really will be interesting to see what keeps this man alive.



 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 03:09 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Maybe the ants that he snorted set up a colony in his body dedicated to keeping it clean from illegal substance and other harmful materials?
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 04:50 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Doddsino wrote:
Maybe the ants that he snorted set up a colony in his body dedicated to keeping it clean from illegal substance and other harmful materials?

wasnt that an episode of futurama?


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 04:55 pm Reply with quote Back to top

it were worms in futurama.

will be interesting what they find out. altough keith richards took more drugs then anybody.


it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times
 
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Milhouse
Joined: Dec 19 2008
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 05:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hunter S. Thompson took more drugs than anybody, but he decided to take himself out of the equation. I sometimes think about how that SOB was able to drive on all that shit. It's hard to drive when you're tired, imagine using rum to wash down mushrooms, quaaludes, and LSD at the same time and then driving from L.A. to Las Vegas.
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Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 05:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

This would be nice, except for one fact: how do you map the genome of an alien? This Is A Joke I actually like Ozzy, don't call me a hater for that.


https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
 
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Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 05:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Keith Moon.


<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/
 
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Milhouse
Joined: Dec 19 2008
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Jun 16 2010 05:56 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Did you know that Keith Moon and Mama Cass died in the exact same apartment?
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Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
PostPosted: Jun 17 2010 02:58 am Reply with quote Back to top

Did they choke on the same ham sandwich?

ba doom bish


Cracked.com wrote:
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."

Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas.

 
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