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Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

So today I lgged into a long lost email account of mine.
Needless to say there was a SHITLOAD of spam emails.
Aside from the "certified nursing asssisstant" qnd "buy cheap vicoden" emails there were a few "urgent!!!!!" And buisness offer emails. For a quick laugh I decided to open it and see how much money I won.

Who the fuck falls for these things
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Flag this messageATTENTION???Friday, May 7, 2010 5:12 AMFrom: "Mr.Leonard Muller" <att10att10@msn.com>Add sender to ContactsTo: undisclosed-recipientsCompliment of the season!!.
Year:2010
Attention: Sir/Madam.

I am Mr.Leonard Muller. The Fund Manager of Fidelity Investment International.The World Largest Fund Management Company with over 1.2 Trillion Capital Investment Fund.
Neverthless,as The Fidelity Fund Manager,I handle all our Investor's Direct Capital Funds and secretly extracted 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP)per annum on each of the Investor's Marginal Capital Fund.As an expert, I have made over 145,745,000,00 from the Investor's EMRCP and hereby looking for someone to trust who will stand as an Investor to receive the fund as Annual Investment Proceeds from Fidelity Marginal Capital Fund.All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance.Meanwhile,I have worked out the modalities and techn incaliti es whereby the funds can be claimed in any of our 6 Clearing Houses without any hitches. Our sharing ratio will be 70-30.Reach me by return mail if you are interested in this proposal so that I will give you relevant details.
Sincerely.
Mr.Leonard Muller.
Fidelity Investments International
http://www.fidelity-international.com
Email:leonardmuller2010@hotmail.com
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Flag this messageAttn: Beneficiary!!Friday, April 30, 2010 1:56 AMFrom: "Mrs.Rebecca Redlin" <hpe_tt@pacific.net.sg>Add sender to ContactsTo: undisclosed-recipientsAttn: Beneficiary,

We are pleased to inform you that you have won a Ctholic Aid sweepstake Promotions
"Lotto draw of US$1,000,000.00 " please contact Mr. George Awad @ Clearance office in
New York for details at Email: ctb.plc@live.com, Tel: +1 718 866 37719

Mrs.Rebecca Redlin
Customer service
Tel: 631 853 9149

---------------------------------------------------
Hoping that you are fine today?

I am Mr. Thomson Madiba, the Security Attachй to the 2010 Local Organizing Committee in the Republic of South Africa.

As you ought to know, our country is currently busy with the necessary preparations to host the coming 2010 FIFA soccer world cup which gave us a lot of projects and business opportunities at the moment.

Meanwhile, my colleagues and I as a committee in charge of completion of a NEWLY BUILT STADIUM need your assistance to transfer and secure in your oversea account the sum of US$47,000,000.00 (Forty Seven Million United States Dollars) which is an over-invoiced amount from the completion of the contract. This amount is currently in a coded account in the National Treasury of South Africa because the original contract sum of US$430,618,000.00 has been paid to the foreign contractor that executed the project. However, by virtue of our position as members of the South African Local Organizing Committee (SALOC) in charge of various contracts, we are not allowed to operate foreign accounts or acquire the over-invoiced amount in our names here in South Africa

Therefore, I have the mandate of my colleagues to arrange with you as a foreign partner so that the US$47,000,000.00 (Forty Seven Million USD) be transferred to any of your personal or company bank account oversea. We have agreed to give you 15% of the total sum while the rest will be shared amoungst my fellow members on equal proportion.

As you may wish to know, all arrangements have been made for the processing of the claim and immediate wire of the fund to your bank account within 7 working days. After the transfer, I will quickly fly to your country to enable us share the fund in accordance with the agreed terms.

If you have the interest to handle this deal with me, kindly revert to me urgently and we shall discuss in further details.

Looking forward to your soonest response.

Mr. Thomson Madiba

CSA

SALOC

Rep of South Africa.

Phone: +27-78 307 8353

Email; thomsonmadiba@gala.net

-------------------------------------------------

"Holy hell!!! Some guy I've never met wants to give ME money!! I bettter go to south africa"
If you fall for these you deserve to have yourself beaten with a rusty alluminum bat

Posted: May 11 2010 01:36 pm

Wow Hacker, you're going to be super duper rich!!! I hope you remember that I've always been nice to you!

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

"always" my rock hard ass.
...but then again I did deserve the hate when I first joined

EDIT: I have plenty more of those emails. But I'm pretty sure they're all well known
Secondary EDIT: oooh this ones a laugh
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Flag this messageCALL BARRISTER FRANK FELDBRUEGGE :- 011-234-708-304-5364Friday, April 23, 2010 11:31 AMFrom: "Mrs Carolyn Holmes" <carolyn@usmail.com>Add sender to ContactsTo: undisclosed-recipientsHello My Dear Freind.

I am Mrs Carolyn Holmes, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in New Braunfels Texas. My residential

address is as follows.108 Crockett Court. Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas, United States, am thinking of relocating

since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in South Africa many years ago and they

refused to pay me, I had paid over $20,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to South Africa with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet

Barrister Frank Feldbruegge, who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him and

he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake. He took me to the paying

bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have

received my compensation funds of $1,500,000.00 Moreover, Barrister Frank Feldbruegge showed me the full

information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and

your email address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your

fund, they are only making money out of you.. I will advise you to contact Barrister Frank Feldbruegge.

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

SOUTHAFRICAN COMPENSATION HOUSE
Name : Barrister Frank Feldbruegge
Email: frankfeldbruegge01@yahoo.com.cn
Phone: 011-234-708-304-5364

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them,

it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have

nothing.The only money I paid after I met Barrister Frank Feldbruegge was just $80 for the paper works, take note

of that.

As soon as you contact him he will send you the payment information which you are to use in sending the payment to

him in order for him to obtain the document from the court of law there in South Africa so that your fund can be

transfer to you without any delay just the way mine was being transfer to me.

Send him the following details if you know you are ready to make the payment so that as soon as he receive your

information he will send to you the payment details for sending him the $80usd that is needed for him to get the

document that is needed to make the transfer a successful one without any further payment.

Fill Out the information to him if you are ready to get your fund and also ready to make the payment.

Your Full Name:...............
Direct Phone:....................
Country.................
Occupation:.....................
Gender:.........
Age:..............

Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Barrister Frank Feldbruegge so that he can help

you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different

kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.
Mrs Carolyn Holmes.
108 Crockett Court. Apt 303,
New Braunfels Texas, United States.

Posted: May 11 2010 01:49 pm

Yeah, just e-mail me all your personal information, Social Security Number, Bank Account Numbers, Credit Card Numbers, and PINs. Then we'll wire a Bajillion Dollars to you! and you get to keep some!!!

Posted: May 11 2010 05:19 pm

Quick solution to all your problems hacker... Delete your Sys32 folder! Very Happy

Joined: Apr 09 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3112

Slayer1 wrote:

Quick solution to all your problems hacker... Delete your Sys32 folder! Very Happy

Don't forget to make a copy first.

Posted: May 11 2010 11:53 pm

Sincerely the republic of South Africa.

I'm going to start putting that as my signature in my emails Wink

Posted: May 12 2010 02:37 am

I got one of those e-mails forever ago, and it started with...

"Complements of the Seasons Sir"

Me and my friends quoted it for at least a solid year or two.

Posted: May 12 2010 03:28 pm

Hacker wrote:

I am Mrs Carolyn Holmes, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in New Braunfels Texas.

Goddammit, Holmes is my last name, and I live in Texas. WTF?

Posted: May 12 2010 04:57 pm

Oh Noes! The government wants to give me Nigerian Money, but they don't have my info!

Got this today:

Quote:

The U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO)
Gene L. Dodaro
GAO Anti Fraud NET
441 G Street NW Mail Stop 4T21
Washington, DC 20548
Tel: 203-413-1793

The U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO)

Our Work is done at the request of congressional committees or subcommittees or is mandated by public laws or committee reports. We also undertake research under the authority of the Controller General. We support congressional oversight by

1, auditing agency operations to determine whether federal funds are being spent efficiently and effectively;
2, investigating allegations of illegal and improper activities;
3, reporting on how well government programs and policies are meeting their objectives;
4, performing policy analysis and outlining options for congressional consideration;
and 5, issuing legal decisions and opinions, such as bid protest rulings and reports on agency rules.

We advise Congress and the heads of executive agencies about ways to make government more efficient, effective, ethical, equitable and responsive.Our work leads to laws and acts that improve government operations, saving the government and tax payers billions of dollars. This is to officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.

During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you are dealing with the wrong person in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.Just this month we recover some amount from fraudulent people in Nigeria with the help of the new government in Nigeria and the total money recover was $11,000.000.00 in which the Nigeria government decided to give away the money to an American ,Australia,Asia,European,Canada Citizen with correct social security details as a compensation, either unemployed/employed as in accordance with the new president of America permission as an External Stimulus Relief , your name and address came out and we the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) decided to contact in regards to your claims.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD. Since the U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this
jis 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens and all other citizens of the world to enh. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email or by phone for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf while the shipment of the ATM CARD is been taken care of once your approval slip is signed and sealed by you.

CONTACT INFORMATION NAME: MR.Ebi Micheal

EMAIL: ebimicheal2010@gmail.com
TELEPHONE: +23470-82236124
BANK:OCEANIC BANK PLC 22,RANDLE ROAD
VICTORIA ISLAND
LAGOS,NIGERIA

Do contact Mr.Ebi micheal of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details and reconfirmed you information

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
BANK NAME:
AGE:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you. Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

The U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO)

Gene L. Dodaro
GAO Fraud NET
441 G Street NW Mail Stop 4T21
Washington, DC 20548

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr.Ebi Micheal of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

Somebody put at lot of time into making this, however they apparently either forgot or don't know that in American English, the word is "Center" not "Centre". Dumb shits.

Posted: May 12 2010 05:02 pm

I bet I could make a decent amount of money being a consultant for these guys. By 'consultant', I mean 'proofreader'.

Posted: May 13 2010 02:45 am

You would think people who make these Scams have to have found some kind of legal loophole to do this. You can't just make up a random e-mail and get away with this kind of shit can you?

Posted: May 13 2010 11:57 am

Atma84 wrote:

You would think people who make these Scams have to have found some kind of legal loophole to do this. You can't just make up a random e-mail and get away with this kind of shit can you?

They can because they're based out of another country. It may even be illegal in their country, but isn't as enforceable as it is here.

Posted: Jul 23 2010 05:29 pm

This one that came to me today, was particular funny in the amount of bad english it contained:

Quote:

Mrs.Ulianna Ahmed,

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr Dr.Hadad Ahmed who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he
died in the year 2005.We were married for eleven years without a child. He
died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his
death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to
re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is
against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 18Million
Dollars (Eighteen Million United State Dollars) with one finance/security
company in Amsterdam-Netherlands. Presently this money is still with the
Security Company. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for
the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most
is my stroke sickness.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this
Fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize
this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that
will use these funds to fund churches orphanages and widows propagating the
word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible
made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this
decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and
my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's
hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where
this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking
this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am
going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.
Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I
don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health
and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always.
I don't want them to know about this development.
With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company
in Amsterdam-Netherlands.
I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary
of these Funds. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard.
My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord
must serve him in spirit and truth.
Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in
sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you.
I have set aside 20% for you and for your time and 10% for any enpense if there is
any. Remain blessed in the name of the Lord. Yours in Christ

Note: Reply email: mrs.UliannaAhmed@webadictos.net

Posted: Jul 23 2010 05:34 pm

from what I understand, a lot of it is african immigrants to the uk that do it. i was watching dateline and they did a piece on it where a guy actually went to meet in person with the people. it was pretty informative. i want to feel bad for the stupid old people that fall for it, but even they should be ashamed. anyone who knows that money doesnt come from nowhere, especially not some contest you didn't enter and is in a different country than yours, deserves to be fleeced. what i did was set up two fake email accounts and set them to automatically forward between one another and the spammer that sends them. i have to clean them out about every twelve hours but its totally worth it.

Posted: Jul 26 2010 05:37 pm

Dear Lord, CATS from Zero Wing has better grammar than these people! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!

Posted: Jul 26 2010 08:21 pm

Got one just today,

UNITED NATIONS (UNITED NATIONS ASSISTED PROGRAME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS.
UNITED NATIONS LIASON OFFICE
LONDON UNITED KINGDOM
WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT

Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX027

DEAR BENEFICIARY :

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family?You may not

understand why this mail came to you.We have been having meeting for

the passed 3 months which ended 2 days ago with the UNITED NATIONS

BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND AUDITORS with new secretary to the United

Nation Mr. Ban Ki-moon.This email is to all the people that have been

scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to

compensate them with the sum ofUS$8,200,000,00 each.

This includes every foreign contractors that may have not received

their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished

transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government

problems etc. this have been agreed upon and have been signed.We have

arranged your payment through swift card payment center, which is the

latest instruction from United Nations Directorate of International

Payment and Transfer Liason Office in United Kingdom[UK].The card

center will send to you an ATM debit card which you will use to

withdraw your money in any ATM machine in any part of the world.
You are advised to contact Mr.Fred Grant in Sky Bank of Nigeria as he

is our representative, contact him immediately for your ATM pre-paid

Card of USD$8,200,000,00.

please let us know by contacting our corporate office with the

requested information as listed below .

1. Full Name
2. Phone and Fax Number
Address Were You Want Them to Send the card.
ATM Card to (P.O Box Not Acceptable)
4. Your Age and Current Occupation

Email: fredgrantxxx@yahoo.ie
Cell phone Call: +234-7083214983
Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as

soon as you cash your Atm.
Making the world a better place,

MY BEST REGARDS.

Mr. Ban Ki-moon.
Secretary to
The United Nation.

Posted: Jul 26 2010 11:38 pm

Well, shit I better hurry up and cash my ATM and call them!

Posted: Jul 26 2010 11:47 pm

I would just give him the adress imformation and whatnot of someone I hate. Kill two birds with one stone.

Posted: Jul 27 2010 05:50 am

Why are these always out of Nigeria? Isn't any other nation interested in scamming?

Posted: Jul 27 2010 06:39 am

Hacker wrote:

Who honestly falls for these emails?

SECTION 1:

1. Honestly, what color is your shirt?
2. Honestly, what's on your mind?
What anime movies I haven't seen xD
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
4. Honestly, do you like Britney Spears?
5. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
6. Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel?
7. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
11. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?
12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
13. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
14. Honestly, do you have a friend that you really don’t like?
15. Honestly, do you like/love anyone?

SECTION 2:

1. Honestly, what do you do when you get mad?
2. Honestly, what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
3. Honestly, have you ever made anyone cry when you were mad?

SECTION 3:

1. Honestly, when's the last time you cried?
2. Honestly, have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
3. Honestly, do certain songs make you cry?
4. Honestly, what usually makes you cry?
5. Honestly, what do you do when you're scared?

SECTION 4:

1. Honestly, is there someone right now that could do something to make you happy?
2. Honestly, who can make you happy?
3. Honestly, can being with your friends make you happy?

Copy all of this then repost your answers with the title SPILL YOUR HEART OUT
SURVEY... if you dare!

Posted: Jul 27 2010 11:27 am

Ever read The 419 Eater? They reverse-scam these guys.

My personal favorite (long and epic)

http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

Docinsano's Channel 63 · Posted: Jul 27 2010 10:23 pm

Hacker wrote:

If you fall for these you deserve to have yourself beaten with a rusty alluminum bat

Why sir, That's impossible! Why you ask? Aluminum doesn't rust, stupid. Now your fantasy of cracking a skull with an iron oxide encrusted club are shattered.

now on topic: Who the hell writes these emails? Just by reading one sentence into the email, I was convinced that it was pure retarded bullshit spam. A rusty aluminum bat is too good for those who fall for these emails. They should be chased for the rest of their lives with poo on a stick and be forced to eat grape nuts for the rest of their natural lives. Rest assured, they will be safe in the afterlife, unless they fall for another spam email.

Banned Joined: Sep 13 2008 Posts: 3129

SECTION 1:

1. Honestly, what color is your shirt? Gray
2. Honestly, what's on your mind? boobs
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? typing
4. Honestly, do you like Britney Spears? No
5. Honestly, have you done something bad today? maybe
6. Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel? If my brothers are watching it
7. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? A friend
8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes
9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? Assholes
10. Honestly, do you bite your nails? yet
11. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? HA! With a high metabolism I can't have an eating disorder
12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? Yes
13. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? Don't we all
14. Honestly, do you have a friend that you really don’t like? Maybe
15. Honestly, do you like/love anyone? yes

SECTION 2:

1. Honestly, what do you do when you get mad? Try to cool off
2. Honestly, what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad? Yell at someone
3. Honestly, have you ever made anyone cry when you were mad? I think so

SECTION 3:

1. Honestly, when's the last time you cried? A few days ago, but I had a /really/ good reason which I don't feel like telling 'cause it's personal
2. Honestly, have you ever cried yourself to sleep? When I was 8
3. Honestly, do certain songs make you cry? no
4. Honestly, what usually makes you cry? Not much
5. Honestly, what do you do when you're scared? When am I ever scared

SECTION 4:

1. Honestly, is there someone right now that could do something to make you happy? Yes :lolL
2. Honestly, who can make you happy? Anybody
3. Honestly, can being with your friends make you happy? Yes

Posted: Aug 09 2010 01:57 pm

LordHuffnPuff wrote:

Ever read The 419 Eater? They reverse-scam these guys.

My personal favorite (long and epic)

http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

Jesus H. Christ that is the neatest thing I've seen.