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The Most Useless Video Game Items


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TARDISman
Title: Time Traveller
Joined: May 18 2009
Location: The End of Time
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 07:10 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, same here, although I'm still missing the online ones which made my gamerscore uneven and that pisses me right the fuck off.


RIP Hacker 1993-2014
"Paint me like one of your French Squids" -My buddy on Relm vs Ultros.
 
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 10:11 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I always thought the knife was completely useless in any Resident Evil game that wasn't Code: Veronica, 4, or 5.

The Skull of Mondain in Ultima: Quest of the Avatar. Sure, it clears a screen of enemies, but you get no experience, and it makes your virtues go down the tubes.

The ruby (or red jewel, can't remember the name) from Uninvited. If you pick it up, it curses you so you eventually die in a few dozen turns, and if you saved your game after you picked it up, you're screwed.

The towel from Ghoul School; it's a relatively powerful weapon for about five seconds until you get the Deweytron gun literally three screens later.

Blizzard from G.I. Joe for the NES; not an item, but a completely useless character. The only redeeming quality is that he can shoot through walls, but that doesn't matter when he has the second-weakest gun in the game (Snake Eyes having the weakest, but the fact that he doesn't use ammo more than makes up for it).

Pretty much every weapon in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves that wasn't the regular or Locksley sword. It's really a shame that you get all the cooler weapons like the Locksley Bow and the ball & chain when there's only about half an hour of gameplay left.

The vast majority of the weapons in Zombies Ate My Neighbors (other than the novelty factor of being able to say "I am currently attacking a sentient purple tentacle with a tomato").

The shovel from Silent Hill 4. Slow, a narrow range, and the kill animation takes approximately forever.

The assault rifle and any weapon you get after it in Silent Hill: 0rigins. By the time you get it, you're already armed to the teeth with melee weapons and more ammo than you know what you do with.

In Silent Hill: Homecoming, any melee weapon that isn't the knife.


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Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
PostPosted: Apr 28 2010 10:21 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Cameron wrote:

The vast majority of the weapons in Zombies Ate My Neighbors (other than the novelty factor of being able to say "I am currently attacking a sentient purple tentacle with a tomato").

Actually, most of those weapons do have a purpose. For starters the Popsicle would kill the red tentacle monsters, the Plates and the silverware would be used against the werewolves no problem, Crucifix would help with the fire and sometimes the shrooms if you didn't have a fire extinguisher or weed whacker, and tomatoes... well If I recall correctly you can kill a fishman with them
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 12:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Looking at couple newer games:

Bad Company 2: The "tommy gun" M1A1. It makes anyone who uses it have the acuracy of a Storm Trooper, and seems to never kill anyone, no matter how many times you hit someone with it.

Left for Dead 2: Most melee weapons. Other than the chainsaw or the Katana, why pick any of these slowass weapons over dual pistols?
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TARDISman
Title: Time Traveller
Joined: May 18 2009
Location: The End of Time
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 02:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Knyte wrote:
Left for Dead 2: Most melee weapons. Other than the chainsaw or the Katana, why pick any of these slowass weapons over dual pistols?

They're pretty good at holding off crowds in a narrow corridor, then again my experience with this game goes as far as the demo sooooo...


RIP Hacker 1993-2014
"Paint me like one of your French Squids" -My buddy on Relm vs Ultros.
 
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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 02:57 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Poo/Dung from the Dragon Quest series.
The Protractor in Earthbound.
Excalipoor in the FF series
Bubbe Gun in Earthworm Jim 2
Alucart Gear in CV: SotN


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 03:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The Hammer Bros. suit in Super Mario 3. For some reason my brother and I would always fight each other to get it in World 7, but it sucked. I did beat the final level with that worthless suit one time, and I'm damn proud of that.


Pretty much the greatest thread of all time: http://www.sydlexia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14789

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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 03:46 pm Reply with quote Back to top

lordsathien wrote:
Poo/Dung from the Dragon Quest series.

I think I missed out on that. It certainly wasn't in 1-4.

Also:

1. Every item in Animal Crossing that isn't a NES game.
2. Every single fucking item in Animal Crossing: Wild World
2. Every single fucking item in Animal Crossing: City Folk
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 04:50 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
lordsathien wrote:
Poo/Dung from the Dragon Quest series.

I think I missed out on that. It certainly wasn't in 1-4.

Also:

1. Every item in Animal Crossing that isn't a NES game.
2. Every single fucking item in Animal Crossing: Wild World
2. Every single fucking item in Animal Crossing: City Folk

so... basically, Animal Crossing in general


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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NotEnoughGolds
Joined: Feb 16 2010
PostPosted: Apr 29 2010 05:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Klimbatize wrote:
The Hammer Bros. suit in Super Mario 3. For some reason my brother and I would always fight each other to get it in World 7, but it sucked. I did beat the final level with that worthless suit one time, and I'm damn proud of that.

Worthless? Perhaps not great due to its rarity, but far from worthless. That hammer can kill anything in one hit... except for Bowser. It kills him in about 3 hits.

Definitely going to have to stick with Cloak of Darkness from Wizards & Warriors.
And the Pendant from Faxanadu. It's supposed to raise attack power, but due to a coding error, diminishes it instead (the effects of the Pendant are given to you when you start the game, and are removed when you obtain the Pendant).
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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 12:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
lordsathien wrote:
Poo/Dung from the Dragon Quest series.

I think I missed out on that. It certainly wasn't in 1-4.

I suppose. I know they were items you could get in VII, VIII, and that on-rails slashing game for the Wii. Maybe the Monster games too, but I've never played them.


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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Neutral-Bob
Title: Zarkin Frood
Joined: Aug 17 2006
Location: Casa Del Guapo
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 01:15 am Reply with quote Back to top

The "ultimate" mace and rapier/fencing sword in Dawn of Sorrow. Practically every other ultimate weapon has some kind of perk or decent stats for that particular weapon however the ultimate mace and fencing sword just flat out suck. Originally I thought it was simply because you could get them slightly earlier then the other ultimates but truth be told by that point in the game you usually have weapons just as strong if not stronger. I never really understood why they made them in the first place.


"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S Lewis
 
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 01:53 am Reply with quote Back to top

NotEnoughGolds wrote:
Worthless? Perhaps not great due to its rarity, but far from worthless. That hammer can kill anything in one hit... except for Bowser. It kills him in about 3 hits.

Everything in that game gets killed with one hit, and simple fireballs were easier to use because you could shoot them straight ahead. You had to throw hammers in a high arch and it was a bitch to hit anything with them. So yeah, basically a useless item in the game...didn't bring anything worthwhile to the game except for the fact that it was cool to be able to throw hammers.


Pretty much the greatest thread of all time: http://www.sydlexia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14789

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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 01:57 am Reply with quote Back to top

NotEnoughGolds wrote:
Klimbatize wrote:
The Hammer Bros. suit in Super Mario 3. For some reason my brother and I would always fight each other to get it in World 7, but it sucked. I did beat the final level with that worthless suit one time, and I'm damn proud of that.

Worthless? Perhaps not great due to its rarity, but far from worthless. That hammer can kill anything in one hit... except for Bowser. It kills him in about 3 hits..


It also didn't kill those orbs, which were a pain in the ass. What is worthless? I'd almost say the Tanooki Suit, which turning into a statue was all but useless unless you had the unfortunate placement of being in the path of a fireball or something and not having anywhere to go, but the risk of that is really small.

No no...the real worthless SMB3 item has to be the anchor. As rare as they come, yet so shitty, they're more for show than anything else. What's the point of stopping the ship for one turn? Are you expecting to die, then just randomly beat it on the next turn?

Klimbatize wrote:
NotEnoughGolds wrote:
Worthless? Perhaps not great due to its rarity, but far from worthless. That hammer can kill anything in one hit... except for Bowser. It kills him in about 3 hits.

Everything in that game gets killed with one hit, and simple fireballs were easier to use because you could shoot them straight ahead. You had to throw hammers in a high arch and it was a bitch to hit anything with them. So yeah, basically a useless item in the game...didn't bring anything worthwhile to the game except for the fact that it was cool to be able to throw hammers.


Fireballs didn't kill Thwomps, those walking fire things or Dry Bones, granted that Dry Bones could be killed with the Racoon Suit.
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Milhouse
Joined: Dec 19 2008
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 10:29 am Reply with quote Back to top

Raphael in any Ninja Turtles game, except maybe for some sort of sacrifice reason.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 10:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

Hammers also killed Boo, which fireballs didn't. And ducking as Hammer Mario gave you the Buzzy Beetle anti-fireball defense. The Hammer Suit was awesome. And the throwing arc was super easy to just to. And the axe was the second best weapon in the original Castlevania, and that had an arc.

Tanooki Suit wasn't bad, either. It was a Racoon Suit with a slight addition. The status defense was nice for less skilled players, and the status effect could be used offensively too. If you turned into the statue over most enemies and fell on them, they'd die. I believe you could kill anything the hammer could kill, but I never tested it on Thwomps as it is rather impractical.

The most useless items in SMB3 were the music box and the anchor. The Star Man, as an inventorty item, was also really shitty.
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Klimbatize
2010 NES Champ
Title: 2011 Picnic/Death Champ
Joined: Mar 15 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 11:40 am Reply with quote Back to top

Oh, forgot about the music box. Yes, worthless. Though it did come in handy in a competitive two player game and you didn't want to waste your turn on a Hammer Bro. If there were mushroom houses or levels that would give you elite items, you could pass over the Hammer Bro and get to them before your competitor could.

I liked having a couple of star men to quickly taking out the Hammer Bros. 'levels'.


Pretty much the greatest thread of all time: http://www.sydlexia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14789

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Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 03:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

The most useless suit in Mario Galaxy 1 would have to be the spring suit IMO. I hated trying to reposition myself with it.


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 03:11 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'd only say the anchor is worse than the music box, simply because of how difficult it was to get it. At least the music box allowed you to avoid Hammer Bros. for more than one turn. And yeah, the star as an inventory item...yeah starting the stage which usually takes a good 2 seconds of momentum to really get going..and by that point it's almost worn off.

Yeah, both the Spring Suit and the Flying Suit were useless. The Bee Suit kicked all sorts of ass though.

While we're on Mario...how about Mario RPG? There were PLENTY of useless items in that game. Earlier Times was shitty considering it costs 15 Frog Coins and it's only purpose was to restart a battle if you tended to fuck up. I only used Earlier Times when I was trying to do the 100 consecutive Super Jumps (still can't do it). Also Mukumuku cookies, beetle boxes, Monstrotown mushrooms, Ultra hammer, Super Slap, Goodie bag, Lucky Jewel...etc. etc.
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NotEnoughGolds
Joined: Feb 16 2010
PostPosted: Apr 30 2010 08:15 pm Reply with quote Back to top

lordsathien wrote:
The most useless suit in Mario Galaxy 1 would have to be the spring suit IMO. I hated trying to reposition myself with it.

Yuck. I hope that suit's been eliminated for SMG2. The cloud suit looks awesome btw.
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Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
PostPosted: May 01 2010 11:34 am Reply with quote Back to top

The Stallion isn't that bad! There's certainly worse vehicles in GTA.


Does anybody here have a Ross Rifle?
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Spanish Meatloaf
Title: Denim Clad Road Warrior
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: Olympia, WA
PostPosted: May 01 2010 08:34 pm Reply with quote Back to top

ness' dog in Smash Bros.
Wave beam in prime
Pistol in jet force gemini
The Old Rod
Half the power ups in the original ninja gaiden
The Beam guy in kirby (the UFO FUCKING HAD IT TOO!)
TM 88 (pluck)
Choice Scarf
Damp Rock
Dominion Rod
Leaf Shield (mega man)
Daggers in Castlevainia


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nihilisticglee
Joined: Oct 12 2007
PostPosted: May 01 2010 08:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Spanish Meatloaf wrote:
Choice Scarf


Choice Scarf is kind of awesome. Seriously, it allows huge threats to be revenged killed, and if you run trick, can cripple walls and slower, bulkier Pokemon.
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Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
PostPosted: May 01 2010 10:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Ross Rifle wrote:
The Stallion isn't that bad! There's certainly worse vehicles in GTA.


As far as ability, it falls pretty short, definately not a get away car. As far as cars go in GTA III, the only one worse for what it's worth is the Perrenial.

Although I always found it bullshit that the El Burro race in the 1st island had you racing against 3 Cheetahs, which were far faster than the Banshee (which was the only car on par for racing this early). Granted, it wasn't impossible, just bullshit.
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
PostPosted: May 01 2010 10:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I always thought from my experience that the common delivery trucks were the worst, sure they were durable but they were slow as hell, had piss-poor acceleration, and they turned about as well as an iceberg.


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