Lately, whenever I fall asleep I see this man with hands made up of a megaphone and an old Optimus Prime toy chasing me through dark tunnels. Just before he murders me in slow motion with explosions in the background, I awaken to realize it was just a dream and in reality he has only murdered my most fond childhood memories. Can't wait for 35 slow motion scenes of gorgeous people being slashed by a great actor dressed up as Freddy. Fuck you Michael Bay, Fuck you very much.
joshwoodzy wrote:
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
Posted:
Apr 21 2010 12:41 pm
I'm not proud of it, but I'll be seeing this in theaters.
The three greatest heels in history...Andy Kaufman, Triple H, and Dr. Jeebus
Ash Burton
Title: AshRaiser
Joined: Nov 10 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1044
Posted:
Apr 21 2010 04:16 pm
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
I'm not proud of it, but I'll be seeing this in theaters.
I too, will see this. At least the douchbag is not directing, (producer) but the same can be said of Friday The 13th in which he only produced and that was a shit fest. Oh well, I guess he's on to do Chucky in 2011.
joshwoodzy wrote:
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
Ermac
Title: Thread Killer
Joined: Aug 04 2008
Location: Outworld
Posts: 1512
Posted:
Apr 23 2010 08:00 pm
Dr. Jeebus wrote:
I'm not proud of it, but I'll be seeing this in theaters.
My fiancee is a big Freddy fan as I am a big Jason fan....
Even though it will probably be exactly like the new Friday the 13th but in the Freddy universe it might be better or worse. She wants to go see it so we will.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Apr 23 2010 10:29 pm
bah. It's too easy to ride shotgun in the hatemobile.
Baaaaaawwww! Waaaaaah! Michael Bay ruined my childhood! Did you really want to spend ten and a half dollars to watch THIS on the big screen?
I would bet my left nut that if he made a movie exactly like G1, people would complain about that too, and if a movie was never made, we'd have the same people saying that a live action transformers movie would be so awesome. seriously, when you're making a movie based on a cartoon that was only around to sell merchandise, you gotta do the best that you can. If the guy fucked up Neon Genesis Evangelion or The Wheel of Time or something, I could understand.
I don't know if anyone saw any of the Friday the 13th films prior to the remake, but they were ALL shitfests...
...And that's why we loved them. They were cheesy slasher flicks full of ridiculous moments. It was almost as if each film tried to trump it's precursor in absurdity.
Jason's been to Manhattan, he's been to outer space, he's even been on a boat.
The original Friday was a great standalone film that had an interesting premise and an unexpected twist ending. The sequels were goofy horror films. If you can't appreciate what they tried to do with the re-imagining, you either need to dislike the fact that Friday became a franchise to begin with, or re-watch the old films and try to remember what you liked about them.
I have nothing but high hopes for the new Nightmare on Elm Street, and anyone who truly considers themselves a fan and not some guy who likes to be cool by hating what everyone else hates should feel the same way. We should be directing our ten thousand fists towards guys like Paul W.S. Anderson.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Apr 23 2010 10:35 pm
^I always mistake Paul W. S. Anderson for Paul Thomas Anderson, so I almost was offended there.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Apr 23 2010 10:37 pm
haha, his wikipedia page actually says "Not to be confused with Paul W. S. Anderson."
And you know something else? Everyone complains about the new Freddy's face, but honestly I kinda dig it. It looks more like a burned person now and less like someone wearing a Halloween mask.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Apr 23 2010 10:53 pm
I'm just not a fan of Jackie Earle Haley. Who knows, he can probably do a good job but it's going to be really hard to capture the charm that Robert Englund had.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 12:07 am
he impressed me as rorschach, so I'm willing to give him a chance.
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 03:17 am
FNJ, the shitfests of the original Friday movies was what made them great, they're downright ridiculous, and watching them whilst mocking them with friends is a lot of fun. The new one was OK, but the revelation that Jason utilized secret underground tunnels to move from spot to spot so fast ruined the mystery. I think it was far more interesting to just assume that either he could teleport, or that the writers gave up on implementing any shred of coherency around the second film. Jason doesn't have a secret underground lair, he fucking hangs out in the woods or at the bottom of the lake, or for most of part III in a barn. Underground secret lairs are the realm of Leatherface and Dr. Satan, not Jason.
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 09:46 am
The Transformers movies weren't terrible because they weren't faithful to the source material; they were terrible because they were terrible. I mean look, at TMNT. TMNT has been reinvented a few times over the past decade, and the results have been highly satisfying. Transformers had nothing to with robots. Nothing. It was look at Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, aw, aren't they cute? NO THEY'RE NOT.
As for NOES, not interested. This whole "Oh, we're going to make it scary" bullshit irritates me. No, you're not. Unless you licensed it out to Tartan Extreme, which you didn't, it's not going to be scary. There might be a couple of cheap "jumps", but just like every other horror movie out there, the only people it's going to scare are halfwits and vapid teenage girls.
Secondly, horror was never the appeal of NOES. The appeal was cool death sequences punctuated by comedic one-liners. That's the Freddy character most people remember. Sure it wasn't Wes Craven's original vision, but whatever. NOES 3-5 are the heart, soul, and the absolute best pieces of that franchise. 2 and 6 are forgettable and awful, and the Wes Craven ones are decent.
Thirdly, Robert Englund is Freddy. Now, you can argue that Robert Englund is too old to play Freddy in a franchise reset that hopes to drag on for years. Maybe he is. But at 62, he's not THAT old. And Jackie Earle Haley is only ten years younger than Englund. So he's not likely to have a 20 year career as Freddy like Englund did.
Fourthly, they fucked up the rhyme. For no reason. It's: "One, two, Freddy's coming for you." It's iconic, and there's absolutely no reason to change it. None. But in the trailer, Freddy says "One, two, guess who's coming for you." I mean, what the hell? That's like if they made a new Ghostbusters movie and the tagline was: "Who y'all gonna dial now?"
That's like if they made a new Ghostbusters movie and the tagline was: "Who y'all gonna dial now?"
Ha ha ha, they could call it GhostBeezies, and Mike Jones could rap the theme song.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 11:52 am
Blackout wrote:
FNJ, the shitfests of the original Friday movies was what made them great, they're downright ridiculous, and watching them whilst mocking them with friends is a lot of fun. The new one was OK, but the revelation that Jason utilized secret underground tunnels to move from spot to spot so fast ruined the mystery. I think it was far more interesting to just assume that either he could teleport, or that the writers gave up on implementing any shred of coherency around the second film. Jason doesn't have a secret underground lair, he fucking hangs out in the woods or at the bottom of the lake, or for most of part III in a barn. Underground secret lairs are the realm of Leatherface and Dr. Satan, not Jason.
so your entire basis for hating the movie was that they tried to make sense of prior stupidity?
And you know leatherface didn't have an underground secret lair until the reboot of his franchise, either. right?
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 01:08 pm
FNJ wrote:
Blackout wrote:
FNJ, the shitfests of the original Friday movies was what made them great, they're downright ridiculous, and watching them whilst mocking them with friends is a lot of fun. The new one was OK, but the revelation that Jason utilized secret underground tunnels to move from spot to spot so fast ruined the mystery. I think it was far more interesting to just assume that either he could teleport, or that the writers gave up on implementing any shred of coherency around the second film. Jason doesn't have a secret underground lair, he fucking hangs out in the woods or at the bottom of the lake, or for most of part III in a barn. Underground secret lairs are the realm of Leatherface and Dr. Satan, not Jason.
so your entire basis for hating the movie was that they tried to make sense of prior stupidity?
And you know leatherface didn't have an underground secret lair until the reboot of his franchise, either. right?
Oh I didn't hate the remake at all, I just like the originals more, something about Jason using a bow & arrow and having tunnels with electricity rubbed me the wrong way, I mean, was Jason paying utilities? Yeah you're right that Leatherface didn't have an underground secret lair in the first Chainsaw, more of a secret closet I suppose (the scene where he slides that door open and clobbers the dude with a hammer), and the tunnels they lived in during Chainsaw II were sort of secret too, do they count?
Speaking of the Chainsaw reboot, anyone else annoyed that Leather is mostly silent? He seemed a lot more creepy when he was shrieking and gibbering.
Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 4844
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 01:43 pm
Agree with Blackout. I like Jason and Michael Myers being the silent killers, Freddy being the joker, and Leatherface being the babbling madman.
3, 4, 5 and New Nightmare were my favorite ones, for sure.
sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
Posted:
Apr 24 2010 05:06 pm
As goofy as the movies got, Freddy was always fun at least. I don't think this remake looks that bad, I'm gonna go see it. The only thing I'm not digging too much is Freddy himself though, but I'm going to reserve judgement till I've seen it.
Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom.
Ermac
Title: Thread Killer
Joined: Aug 04 2008
Location: Outworld
Posts: 1512
Posted:
Apr 25 2010 12:32 am
1st is the best obviously
Freddy's Revenge sucked
Dream Warriors was the most entertaining and my personal fav, 3rd best
Dream Master had alot of a 80's nostalgia feel to it,could have been better though
Dream Child=Cockroach scene, entertaining watching it in a theater type movie similar to FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7
Freddy's Dead has potential plot wise with the daughter spin but failed in the end
New Nightmare is the best after the original.
FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
Posts: 12294
Posted:
Apr 25 2010 01:09 am
username wrote:
"PRIME TIME BITCH"
IceWarm
Joined: Dec 22 2008
Location: Breckenridge, Colorado
Posts: 1691
Posted:
Apr 25 2010 04:25 am
"Bon Appetit Bitch!"
Also Robert Englund IS Freddy! Even if he does not want to play the character or deal with the makeup they could of at least got him to do the voice since it looks like Freddy's mouth is closed/sealed in the trailers.
Another thing working against these kind of movies these days are they really are just not scary. I saw Halloween 2(remake) with friends from work and you know EXACTLY when somebody is going to get killed. Even when characters are introduced you know who is going to die long before they do.
Even the "its OK" moments don't scare me now. You know the moments when you think the killer is sneaking up and it is their friend or they freak out over something really insignificant and literally SECONDS later they get killed.
Hollywood need to re-think horror. I still love predictable horror but I won't help Michael Bay get more money for Transformers 3.
The new Friday The 13th was horrible...the only saving grace for that movie was the boobs, the new Nightmare better have have some just as an insurance policy.
Sam Raimi just make Evil Dead 4 already and show these mark ass tricks how to properly do comedy/horror.
"Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it’s because they sat there that they were able to do it."
"Fighting in a basement offers a lot of difficulties, number one being, you're fighting in a basement."
"You're Not So Tough Without Your Veggie!"
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Apr 25 2010 06:53 am
IceWarm wrote:
Also Robert Englund IS Freddy! Even if he does not want to play the character or deal with the makeup they could of at least got him to do the voice since it looks like Freddy's mouth is closed/sealed in the trailers.
I don't think it's so much that he didn't want to do it as it was that he wanted someone else to take over to keep Freddy viable in the longterm. But I'm pretty sure he's still contracted for Freddy vs. Jason 2, if it ever actually gets made.
