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Banned Joined: Oct 09 2009 Posts: 51

When I was in my puberty all I heard from my father was "SPARE THE ROD, SPARE THE CHILD" . I needed life help and all of that "Wonder Years" crap. Instead I had to hear, god this and god that.

The point is this. When I was spanked all I wanted to do was kill myself, or the kill the person spanking me. I even tried to kill one of my parents in the proccess. If you ever seen the picture of the three mice about to kill the cat. It reminds me of three brothers who held a shotgun together to kill the father. One output of Spanking.

About people feeling the need to kill. Spanking at home just opposite of bullying at school. However you can't kill the parents, but the people at school is another story.

However if your child is a real bad arse. I mean call you names, and even parades around you about it. Then you really need it. I mean really need it. Otherwise take an example from Papa Titus and Malcoms Mom and use your brain.

Spanking is just anothe rmethod of control. Parents only do it since they do not know how to deal with the children. This is the prime reason for running away from home, and why young people join gangs, and become hoars. My arse is smart, I believe in god. If I ever killed my parents for spanking I would have to answer to gods paddle. Also all my games are too heavy to run away with.

In my college this old woman was telling me about the nun who really got into spanking. Just like in your XXX flicks. Then some how Jermy became a preacher? You could pretty much guess what happen to the nun.

Posted: Jan 03 2010 12:45 pm

There's a big difference between a once a year spank on the ass when your child goes above and beyond bad and really deserves a whack on the butt to bring him back into line, and just overt beatings with an object or slaps across the face, as Josh mentioned. One is a tried and true method of extreme discipline when it's absolutely necessary while the other is plain and simply child abuse that will only fuck up their soft and fragile minds.

Thanks to Josh and RegalSoul for illustrating that point so well with their stories.

Joined: Sep 17 2007 Location: The Opium Trail Posts: 3475

Syd Lexia wrote:

That being said, I would NEVER spank a child. Spanking has taken on a sexual connotation in modern culture, to the point where if you spank a child, people are going to assume you're some sort of pedophile. If you've ever derived pleasure from smacking someone's ass during sex or having your ass smacked, you can't EVER spank a child. If you do, there's something very Freudian and very wrong with you.

Yea...yea.

Posted: Jan 03 2010 08:02 pm

My dad used the belt on me every once in a while, but he always did it too softly.

Still, I wish more parents would do stuff like that instead of caving in to their bratty kids.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 01:20 am

RegalSoul wrote:

The point is this. When I was spanked all I wanted to do was kill myself, or the kill the person spanking me. I even tried to kill one of my parents in the proccess. If you ever seen the picture of the three mice about to kill the cat. It reminds me of three brothers who held a shotgun together to kill the father. One output of Spanking.

About people feeling the need to kill. Spanking at home just opposite of bullying at school. However you can't kill the parents, but the people at school is another story

I feel for you man, I really feel for I was in the exact situation, still am. I wasn't being spanked, but my mother abused me with her words but still relyed on me to do everything for her, and I felt the same way you felt. I just wasn't fucking ready to be a parent at 14. I don't think I can ever live a normal life now.

EDIT: I'm sorry, I needed to compose myself after I wrote that. I know it had nothing to do with spanking, I just wanted to sympathise with Regalsoul and show what a lack of trust can do.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 05:08 am

SoldierHawk wrote:

Agreed. Not into the belt or prolonged hitting thing. Always swore I'd never do it to my kids.

I'm not gonna use the belt or anything like that on my kid. I also feel the idea of levels of severity (for lack of a better word) in punishment works well. If I usually make him go to time out, when he does get spanked, he will know he must have really fucked up that time. If I spank too much, he won't get that message. I feel like if he gets the same punishment for back talking as he does when he throws a train at his cousin, he won't realize one is worse than the other.

I was raised with two completely different types of paranting. My dad was the kind of guy who would get after me with out ever explaining anything. He was a "because I said so" type of guy. My mom would always explain why I was in trouble and why I can't do those things. My dad spanked me (no belts or anything). My mom didn't. Dad ruled by fear. Mom ruled by guilt. I was afraid of my dad hurting me, and afraid of my mom being disapointed. Now, I feel like my dad did a better job of keeping me out of trouble at that time, but mom did a better job at preparing me for the future. I'm glad I got to experience both sides and feel like I'm better for it. Plus, I get to take what worked best from both methods and apply it to my paranting style.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 06:36 pm

^ That's how I was raised. My dad instilled the fear of GOD in me, which ended up making me despise him until several years ago. He didn't beat me to bad, physically, however he emotionally terrorized me. I'm on the bandwagon of different punishments depending on the severity where spanking is the final step before boarding school threats.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 07:28 pm

When I was real little, like no more then 3 or 4, I may have gotten spanks but ever since I started school and started getting into video games, my parents began to ground me. Which is way worse then an ass spank.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 08:06 pm

Yeah I got grounded A LOT, being grounded blows.

Posted: Jan 04 2010 10:36 pm

i got spanked seldomly when i was younger. once or twice by my dad, and maybe 6-8 times by my mom. my dad would hit me w/his hand when i did something very bad. my mom would hit me w/a belt. a leather belt too.

at any rate, they put the fear of god in me, but they also made it clear why i got punished and the reason behind the punishment. so, it was never unwarranted since i was mostly being a little fucktard most of the time. then i learned how to read and play videogames, and i was usually too distracted by that to get into trouble.

Joined: Oct 01 2009 Posts: 5316

The thing about grounding or spanking nowadays, it's so easy for the kid to find a different outlet to deal with their boredom, whether it's TV, computer, video games, cell phone, even sometimes sneaking out...which I've heard stories of children who do this at no older than 6 YEARS OLD, because they don't have any respect for their parents and know that they don't have to cooperate if they don't want to.

Title: Hugh Joined: Sep 23 2007 Posts: 1591

You say that like it's universal, though. Grounding would still be a problem for a lot of kids, and wasn't a problem for me without stuff like that. I just learned to entertain myself via imagination. As for cell phones and computers and stuff, that's not how grounding worked for me or any of my friends growing up. When we were grounded, we didn't get to talk on the phone, or play Nintendo, or anything.

The parents who are giving out the same punishment I remember getting handed out when I was a kid will get the same results the parents got when I was a kid, in about the same proportions, I figure. I don't think children as a whole are losing respect for parents, I think some parents just don't have the balls to hand out the same punishments parents did before. If the same punishments aren't being handed out, I don't think it's fair to compare the results.

Joined: Dec 19 2009 Posts: 26

I got smacked very rarely by my mom and only if i truly deserved it. I was not scarred at all by it because I knew she wasn't trying to hurt me, it was a quick slap for being a little jerk. My dad never spanked but if I was bad he would yell really loud and that had a much worse effect. I actually remember some of the times he went off on me verbally and remember them to this day. So i would say that smacking a kid without trying to hurt him is not only effective but also more humane than a verbal assault.

Joined: Dec 19 2009 Posts: 26

Also I notice kids today get away with WAY more than we did in the late 80's /early 90's. God help me if I ever had a temper tantrum in public or talked back. My mom would simply say something to the effect "don't make me slap you in front of everyone in this Strawbridges" Needless to say she never actually had to slap me, the fear of embarrassment associated with being slapped in front of people kept me in line.

Posted: Jan 05 2010 06:23 pm

Parents still do that today genghis. I do. I have no problem telling my child off in a public place if he's being bad, and a lot of other parents are the same. When I was a kid in the 80s, I knew a lot of kids who got away with murder, so it's no different today. Everyone just likes to look back on their childhoods with rose tinted glasses and say, "They don't make them like they used to!"

Joined: Dec 19 2009 Posts: 26

Good point, actually now that I think about it there were a lot of bratty kids back then too. I guess looking back we always imagine things were different/better when we were kids.

Posted: Jan 05 2010 08:02 pm

Nostaliga!

Posted: Jan 06 2010 11:08 am

Nostalgia or not, I think spanking used as a secondary measure would be quite effective. Let's face it-- all time-out does is make your kid bored. You want to make him bored? Make him bored productively-- do some damn chores! I remember I got time-outs for minor stuff, but if I was really bad, my ass got the belt. When I got too old, so say, for the belt, that's when I got manual labor. I lied about a report card? My ass is going to be cutting grass if it gets even a hint too long for the whole summer. Things like that.

I disagree, however, to a point. Timeout works by making your essentially ADHD-riddled child bored. This is negative reinforcement, because we're all bored later in life by necessity (unless you're lucky enough to love your job,) and I think it's actually kind of counterproductive. But then again, I'd think any kid who did something wrong enough to deserve more than 15 minutes of timeout needs as ass-whooping anyway.

Posted: Jan 06 2010 01:17 pm

Of course it's boring to a child, that's why it works. They constantly want to be entertained by playing with toys/video games and watching TV. If you take that all away and make them sit in a corner for 15 minutes, it's punishing to them because it's something they don't want to do.

The way I was raised, manual labor was a way of life, not a punishment. I mowed the lawn once a week all year round in order to earn my allowance. I was taught that hard work brings rewards, so the more chores I did, the more I got paid. If I did nothing, I got paid nothing. Using labor as punishment sets your child up to avoid hard work when they are an adult.

And no, there's a large gap of possible punishments in between a 15 minute time out and an "ass whooping". No child ever deserves to be beaten up or stricken with an object unless they are some kind of 10 year old demon, and even then, sending them to boarding school or something is much more productive, as beating children only makes them more resentful and angry. That's counterproductive.

Posted: Jan 06 2010 02:30 pm

i mowed the lawn and trimmed the hedges and the trees and picked up the dog crap. i guess thats mostly cause im mexican This Is A Joke

before someone goes all crazy about a 'racy' joke

but i used to do those things as well because thats what you had to do to earn your keep. go to school and help clean the house. i would also do dishes and make sure my room was kept clean.

my nephews who were never spanked or anything are so fucking terrible at anything. they hardly ever clean their room, they only throw the trash out (i had to do that automatically) when they get yelled at 3 or 4 times, they never pick up the dog crap. its so annoying because all that was automatic when i was younger. now they are these terrible undisciplined kids who think they deserve everything in the world. i just wanna smack em upside the head

Posted: Jan 06 2010 06:30 pm

Pandajuice wrote:

Of course it's boring to a child, that's why it works. They constantly want to be entertained by playing with toys/video games and watching TV. If you take that all away and make them sit in a corner for 15 minutes, it's punishing to them because it's something they don't want to do.

The way I was raised, manual labor was a way of life, not a punishment. I mowed the lawn once a week all year round in order to earn my allowance. I was taught that hard work brings rewards, so the more chores I did, the more I got paid. If I did nothing, I got paid nothing. Using labor as punishment sets your child up to avoid hard work when they are an adult.

And no, there's a large gap of possible punishments in between a 15 minute time out and an "ass whooping". No child ever deserves to be beaten up or stricken with an object unless they are some kind of 10 year old demon, and even then, sending them to boarding school or something is much more productive, as beating children only makes them more resentful and angry. That's counterproductive.

I agree. Plus, I would say that time out is just for younger kids. Even if I were going to hand out chores for being bad, once they are that age, I think they've outgrown time out anyways. That is the age for grounding and taking things away (cell phone, games, friends, car, toys, etc). But I agree with chores not having anything to do with punishment. I never had chores and neither did my wife. We are both lousy housekeepers. I think its because we were never expected to do it growing up. If we were, it would just be routine.

Posted: Jan 06 2010 07:37 pm

scamrock wrote:

Pandajuice wrote:

Of course it's boring to a child, that's why it works. They constantly want to be entertained by playing with toys/video games and watching TV. If you take that all away and make them sit in a corner for 15 minutes, it's punishing to them because it's something they don't want to do.

The way I was raised, manual labor was a way of life, not a punishment. I mowed the lawn once a week all year round in order to earn my allowance. I was taught that hard work brings rewards, so the more chores I did, the more I got paid. If I did nothing, I got paid nothing. Using labor as punishment sets your child up to avoid hard work when they are an adult.

And no, there's a large gap of possible punishments in between a 15 minute time out and an "ass whooping". No child ever deserves to be beaten up or stricken with an object unless they are some kind of 10 year old demon, and even then, sending them to boarding school or something is much more productive, as beating children only makes them more resentful and angry. That's counterproductive.

I agree. Plus, I would say that time out is just for younger kids. Even if I were going to hand out chores for being bad, once they are that age, I think they've outgrown time out anyways. That is the age for grounding and taking things away (cell phone, games, friends, car, toys, etc). But I agree with chores not having anything to do with punishment. I never had chores and neither did my wife. We are both lousy housekeepers. I think its because we were never expected to do it growing up. If we were, it would just be routine.

Hard to tell if there's a correlation, I had tons of chores that I was paid relatively well for growing up and I still am a lousy housekeeper.

Joined: Feb 16 2008 Posts: 832

my mom (and dad) spanked me whenever I got really bad in trouble, and I turned out okay.

Posted: Jan 07 2010 12:13 am

Alright, someone had to say it;

you know who didn't get spanked? That's right, Hitler.

(frank stallone would have also worked)

Posted: Jan 07 2010 12:16 am

Pandajuice wrote:

The way I was raised, manual labor was a way of life, not a punishment. I mowed the lawn once a week all year round in order to earn my allowance. I was taught that hard work brings rewards, so the more chores I did, the more I got paid. If I did nothing, I got paid nothing. Using labor as punishment sets your child up to avoid hard work when they are an adult.

When I was 15, I paid a friend $5 to mow the yard when my dad had been harping on me to do it for about a week. When he came home and found out I paid someone to do the job for me, the man grounded me for a week. That certainly drove "work ethic" into me.