"300", "The Number 23" and "Observe and Report" are the only movies I've paid full price to see and been severely disapointed by them. I actually don't go to many movies as it seems anything over $5 is paying too much for 2 hours of "possible" entertainment.

300 was pure visual garbage. I don't care about special effects or spirit tits, and when you take that way...all you have is a bunch of people yelling at eachother for 2 hours. I seriously was bored out of my mind 20 minutes in, and desperately wanted it to end or get better. The battles are a joke, whereas I enjoyed growing up with stuntmen or choreographed fight scenes, everything done nowadays contains a shitload of CGI and slow motion, both of which make the scene suffer to me. This was probably the worst theater experience I've ever had.

The Number 23...I should've known better. Shumacher has only ever made one good movie, and that was only good because Michael Douglas is fucking awesome in Falling Down. But I figured I like Jim Carrey enough to see this with the girl I was seeing at the time. She tried to talk me out of it before and I said it might be good. Of course I was wrong. Personally, I think Shumacher COULD be a good director, but the problem lies with the dialogue. I've never seen a director make his actors seem so unconvincing with their lines. Overall...plot twist...plot twist....it was him...zzzzzz.

I actually convinced a couple of my friends to see Observe and Report with me and I felt like a real idiot when between the 3 of us, there were 2 laughs the entire movie. I have absolutely no idea why I decided to want to see this, Seth Rogan doesn't make me laugh at all. In fact, the whole Judd Apatow clan is just one seemingly unfunny group of people who put out the same jokes around the same loose plots. And yes, I know Apatow didn't make this movie, but he's responsible for the kind of humor that is present in a lot of these "lighthearted" comedies nowadays.

I'm going to go ahead and say Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. Now while it wasn't a bad movie, it was a terrible Indiana Jones. And while I can comply with UFOs, I don't see why they decided to go that route. There's plenty of other interesting Earth terristrial artifacts that Indy can chase. Not to mention, I do have a problem mixing religion with science fiction...call me old fashioned if you must, but if there is a God who had a Son who blessed a cup that can heal you...yet there's another species living on another planet...does God rule over them too? Was there an alien Jesus? I don't like thinking about this sort of stuff when I'm watching a movie, let alone...my favorite franchise of all time. Everything about this movie was weak. It relied more on the supernatural than the other movies by a long shot. The aliens sucked, the Russians sucked, and the ants sucked. CGI chase, followed by CGI chase...followed by plot twist...followed by marriage? If you like eye candy, I guess this would be an alright movie...but I expect more...especially from Steven fucking Speilberg (who I'm sure had his arm twisted by George Lucas). I should never walk out of a movie upset...but I was with this. In my eyes...it's still a trilogy.

Star Wars: Episode 3 sucked too...I'm not going to even go there. It sucked for a lot of the same reasons that Indy 4 sucked. After seeing it, I saw how weak and hypocritical the Jedi really were. According to all the movies I saw, Luke was the only true Jedi. Mace gave into his anger, Obi Wan couldn't finish the job, Qui Gon was retarded and was resposible for the downfall of the Galaxy, and Yoda pussies out after falling ONCE. And all the other Jedis being as powerful and knowledable as they are certainly got their asses killed pretty easily. At least Luke was willing to sacrifice himself to prove that good still reigned supreme. These movies did nothing to enhance the original trilogy which is why I don't even consider them Star Wars movies.

Honorable mentions: The movies I didn't pay to see...unless you count my emotions

How Stella Got Her Groove Back..yes I know...whatever. My parents rented it back in the day for some reason and I was bored. I flipped it on...and turned it off before the old fat black man got naked.

Legend...good God does this movie suck. It's like they were making it up as they were filming it. It is all over the place. I really don't remember much about this movie because it confused the fuck out of me. I've seen it twice, once as a kid and once in high school for a class. Both times I was just appalled at how awful everything was. I'm amazed that Tom Cruise recovered from this garbage heap.

Inland Empire...I love David Lynch but I HATE this movie. As far as mindfucks go...this was just not even on par. At least both Eraserhead and Muholland Drive kept you interested in what was going on. After about an hour and a half...me and my friend turned it off.

I'll also bring up Peter Jackson...I've never cared for anything new out of him. The LOTR movies were garbage and Kong was fucking atriocious on so many levels. You can't take a 1930's movie and try to adapt it the same way, it just doesn't work. Jack Black is not a good actor...at all...ever. He's a decent sidekick or bumbling fool...but don't ever consider giving him a role of this magnitude because he's so unconvincing...he's like Keanu Reeves.

Speaking of Keanu, I also never cared for the Matrix. I never saw the sequels, but since everyone told me the first one was the best, I figured it wasn't worth my time. Maybe the whole "mindblowing" feel to a movie isn't for me, because if I'm not allowed to think about what's going on, I don't enjoy watching it. It tries to create a story and awe you without giving you a reason to awe, and since I'm not sure of where the movie is going to take me next, I'm not compelled to worry about it. So I'm sitting there in my chair staring at a screen and not caring.

There is one movie I watched that I promised myself as soon as I saw the preview for, that I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever watch it. Unfortunately, I broke my promise. I was seeing this girl at the time and she wanted me to meet her best friend, I've been around long enough to realize this wasn't a good idea. It was even worse that it was a guy best friend. So she finally begs me enough to where I say yes. So the guy comes to pick me up and his car is an absolute piece of junk which reaked of ketchup to me. So we get back to his place that had the stench of ferret shit, which of course proved true as the place was garbage city. His living room consisted of no more than a couch, a TV on the floor, a pile of DVDs and a framed Scarface poster with "Pacino cigar"...I forgot to mention that this white guy was "gangsta". You're probably wondering why I'm mentioning all of this and what this has to do with the movie. I'm just painting the scenario for which I'm trying to explain my reasonings for watching such an awful movie. So we're all sitting on the nasty couch, they decide to start drinking, (which probably wouldn't have been a bad idea if the guy had containers that hadn't been open yet, but I digress). They're getting drunk and start smoking weed and I'm just sitting there wanting to bolt for the door and run the 6 miles home, but it was the middle of November and around 15 degrees outside...I was going nowhere. So finally, I blirt out..."let's watch a movie". Do I get to chose? Of course not, despite the fact there was little to chose from unless I liked those direct to DVD movies you find at Blockbuster Video for 3 for $10. Finally the guy pulls out one of the most god-awful creations ever created. White Chicks. Hooooooly FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! Despite what I said before...when put in a position to where I HAVE to pay attention...I WILL pay attention. I wanted to escape SO badly from this nightmare of an environment, that I was willing to put up with the Wayans brothers for more than 5 minutes. I clinched my hands in a ball in order to keep myself from reaching for any sharp objects and dug my heels into the ground as I struggled to cope with 80 odd minutes of questionable material. Luckily, I made it through...but me and that girl didn't. She broke up with me over a text where she claimed I never "pleasured" her. Oh well...I got plenty of pleasure knowing that I would never have to relive that nightmare again.