In which we all 'fess up to our less inspired (or just plain boneheaded) gaming moments. I'll go first:
When I was 6 or 7 and playing The Legend of Zelda for the first time, I almost always chose the Red Medicine instead of the Heart Container when presented with the Old Man's offer, because in my mind, he ability to heal far outweighed any other possible benefit. Now in fairness to me, I did this without quite understanding exactly how the Heart Container game mechanic worked, and after trying to complete the game this way (and many, MANY hours of fruitlessly searching for the Heart Containers I had "missed" to fill out my life bar) I got the connection and never made that mistake again.
My other, far more recent, stupid moment is actually documented in all its YouTube glory. Its at the very beginning of the video:
Yes. In my first time playing Half Life, I managed to mistake a deadly Barnacle (the first one I had ever seen, in my defense) for a rope, and jumped right into the thing. It also takes me an embarrassingly long time to realize my mistake. Luckily I'm quick on the draw with my pistol so it wasn't a fatal error, but it was still very, very stupid lol.
William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Adrock4
Title: Mostly Lurks, Now
Joined: Sep 13 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 427
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 09:44 pm
"That is NOT a rope!"
Haha, that's hilarious. Anyway, today I was playing Saint's Row 2, performing all 80 (!) stunt jumps. I went through, skipping several obvious jumps because I thought I had done them plenty of times before. When I finished, I had about 77/80 jumps. One was completed in one of the final missions, and the other two, I had NO clue at all. After about 2 or 3 more run-throughs of the jumps, I had 79/80, the aforementioned jump completed as well as one that was skipped. After giving up, I decided to screw around with cheats on. I got myself into a pretty badass chase, and decided "hey, I should do that one stunt jump I've done five million times." I hit it full speed on a motorcycle, then I see "80/80 stunt jumps completed." Cool! Except you don't get credit for shit you do with cheats on. After reloading my save and doing the jump, I unlocked "The Duke." The name alone had me shitting bricks, because I thought it was the red Dodge Charger with the Confederate flag and the "01" on the side. Instead, I get a beige-colored knock off with an "02" on the side. I've never had a bigger "FUCK YOU" given to me in my life.
tl;dr - Don't do the fucking stunt jumps in Saint's Row 2 unless you want to be disappointed.
lavalarva
2011 SNES Champ
Joined: Dec 04 2006
Posts: 1929
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 10:31 pm
I have never beaten SMB without using the lives glitch in 3-1. I'll doit eventually, but the SNES isn't plugged in right now (I own All-Stars + SMW).
It took me over a year to get the first key in Link's Awakening. I even tried buying the bow. That took really fucking long. Eventually I learned english and could understand that raccoon wanted me to sprinkle his nose.
I'm impatient and tend to rely on FAQs if I get stuck.
About stupid stuffs I've done : I've been playing La-Mulana recently, and one of the rooms looks like this (starts trying to draw stuff). Screw it, here's a screenshot :
What I was trying to do : Jump on platform 2, double jump to left wall, grab it, wall kick and try to reach platform 3. Pretty hard, because wall kicks are difficult to time properly.
After a few dozen attempts, sometimes getting knocked all the way down by Wario-bats, I gave up and looked at the solution.
What I had to do : Double Jump from platform 1 to platform 3, then from platform 3 to platform 5.
I felt really stupid after that. In my defense, the two screens before this one require you to wall kick to get on the higher platforms.
I actually cried a little bit from laughing. It wasn't the mistake, it was just knowing all along what was going to happen and your wonderful reaction. Well done Hawk!
As for me, I recall the time that I was a Dark Jedi in KOTOR and had Zaalbar kill Mission by accident. I didn't think you could do that, but apparently you can be that evil in the game. Whoops. On another note, KOTOR was written very well, while KOTOR2 was a bit messy. Often times I found that the actions I wanted to have happen didn't align with the text options in KOTOR 2. This often times lead to me getting dark or light alignment at the wrong times.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:06 pm
I used to SUCK at Donkey Kong Country, so much so that my sister had to be some parts that I couldn't. Until I was 12, I ALWAYS got stuck in Snow Barrel Blast and usually spent hours upon hours trying to beat it. Nowadays, I've cleared the entire game 101% under an hour TRYING to use one life, like Cranky instructs in the credits, however this level is still mildly annoying.
I still try from time to time to get the 100 consecutive Super Jumps on "Super Mario RPG". I still can't do it, I got 96 one time...and just flipped shit since I only needed 4 more. I've done countless research to help me achieve that precious "Super Suit" but still cannot do it. This is the only game that I can think of that has successfully "beatin" me for 13 years. Hell, I can get all 100 packages in GTA 3 before starting the game, a feat that is quite difficult to do, yet 100 jumps beats me every single time.
jprime
Title: Ex-GameWinners
Joined: Jan 27 2008
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 7091
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:08 pm
As I mentioned at the beginning of my membership here, I didn't beat Super Mario Bros. until 1999. That was due to my insistence that every Bowser be beaten with fireballs. Also, as big a fan of the franchise as I am, I didn't get serious about beating a Mega Man game until 1995. The first one I beat was 4.
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:11 pm
i have quite a few of these. still havent beat mike tysons punch out. fuck mike tyson. it took me years to beat zelda II (finally did on the VC). i was only able to beat the original dragon warrior on the GBC twin pack of DW + DWII (in all fairness, my original kept on losing my save if anything happened to it physically [i.e. got bumped, i sneered at it et. al.]). i dont think i've beaten SMB2 or SMB3 fully. maybe i have, cant recall. i know i have beaten SMB. i could never get the invincibility cheat in Goldeneye. im the lindbergh baby. first time i beat WCIII i used cheat codes. i never finished F-Zero on the 64 or GCN.
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
Posts: 4274
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:18 pm
I always shot my teammates in CS 1.6 before I realized the concept of teamwork between CT's and T's
hroark0109
Title: The Master of Unlocking
Joined: Oct 03 2009
Location: Kent, Ohio
Posts: 26
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:44 pm
I have yet to beat SMB. That is all I have to say. I live my life in shame bearing this horrible secret. Maybe now the healing process can begin.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Oct 25 2009 11:50 pm
I can't believe how many people haven't beaten SMB, I mean it's not like it's hard or anything...I beat the entire game one time at my orthodontist's office since he had a mini arcade. Then I watched this 30 something year old guy absolutely rape at Pac Man.
Another confession of mine is, I've never enjoyed playing Super Metroid. Ever.
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 12:06 am
Doddsino wrote:
Another confession of mine is, I've never enjoyed playing Super Metroid. Ever.
you are awarded no points, and may god have mercy on your soul
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
phantasmzombie
Joined: May 22 2009
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 353
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 12:18 am
When I played SMB 2 as a kid, I would always play as the Princess because I liked her ability to float in the air for a few seconds.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 12:25 am
phantasmzombie wrote:
When I played SMB 2 as a kid, I would always play as the Princess because I liked her ability to float in the air for a few seconds.
As did everyone. I remember when I first got the game, I picked Toad because "he looked fun" to play as. But it wasn't long before I was floating my entire levels with Toadstool.
Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 12:46 am
I play most games on easy and I still act very accomplished when I beat them.
Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 03:12 am
I believed the lie in Castlevania 2 and spent hours trying to bang my head on the cliff.
Cracked.com wrote:
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas.
Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 03:38 am
I didn't figure out how to change keyblades in KH 2 until the carpet ride section of Agrabah.
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 04:31 am
Optimist With Doubts wrote:
I play most games on easy and I still act very accomplished when I beat them.
I did that when I was 14 or 15...now I look back at all my games and try to complete everything on at least normal. I always hated when shit is only unlockable by completing hard or extreme mode, which is why I never collected those stupid dog tags in MGS2, although MGS3 had a great system for unlocking things.
Ash Burton
Title: AshRaiser
Joined: Nov 10 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1044
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 08:16 am
Pretty much every time I'm at some party or get together and someone asks me to play a FPS (COD, HALO, ect.). I randomly run around lost and either shoot my teammate, blow myself up, or get sniped rather easily. Then comes the questions. Aren't you a Marine? You suck at this! Yup, I suck at FPS's. I hate them and refuse to play any of them on my own time. Well, except Goldeneye, I fuckin rule at that game.
joshwoodzy wrote:
Ash is probably just home humping his SNES collection.
Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 08:21 am
Doddsino wrote:
Optimist With Doubts wrote:
I play most games on easy and I still act very accomplished when I beat them.
I did that when I was 14 or 15...now I look back at all my games and try to complete everything on at least normal. I always hated when shit is only unlockable by completing hard or extreme mode, which is why I never collected those stupid dog tags in MGS2, although MGS3 had a great system for unlocking things.
I really enjoyed MGS3's unlockables, it really warrents a replay over most games these days.
sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
Posted:
Oct 26 2009 08:48 am
The only Zelda game I never beat was Oracle of Seasons. Not only does it drive me crazy that there's only one game I never finished but also the fact that it's pretty much half of one game. I beat Ages, used the password, almost got to the end and then I don't know what happened to my copy.
