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Fuck my job


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eddieh4444
Title: Doctor of Science
Joined: Jun 11 2007
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 10:28 am Reply with quote Back to top

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit
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Ermac
Title: Thread Killer
Joined: Aug 04 2008
Location: Outworld
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 10:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

Did this come from the memoir of Fred right before he pulled a Hunter S?


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eddieh4444
Title: Doctor of Science
Joined: Jun 11 2007
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 10:36 am Reply with quote Back to top

Haha, yes. I saw this on another forum and thought you guys might get a laugh out of it too.
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 01:14 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Lol, that was actually pretty funny, not bad at all.


Lawyers, Guns and Money
 
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Deadmau_5pra
Title: Amatuer film/podcaster
Joined: Feb 10 2009
Location: Chicago Area
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 01:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That's a plot for a movie right there.

What is your job? Or is this a clevar reference?


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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 02:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

spra, think scooby doo



 
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 02:23 pm Reply with quote Back to top

lol nice


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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ChkChkBLAM
Title: Onomatopeabrain
Joined: Jul 07 2009
Location: Des Moines, IA
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 02:31 pm Reply with quote Back to top

You forgot to make mention of having to wear an ascot...
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Kojjiro!
Joined: Feb 16 2008
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 04:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

fuck you, velma is hot.


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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 04:43 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I have a thing for slightly chubby girls with short hair and glasses. Seriously. So Velma has always been hot to me. But yeah, she's a cartoon. Dammit.


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Miguelius
Title: 83956789546
Joined: Apr 16 2009
Location: Chaco, Argentina
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 05:42 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Fuuuuuuuu You got me, man!
I didn't get it until the end Exclamation
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 06:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah that tricked me too for a second. Razz



 
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 07:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hahahaha, that was great.


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3DS is very good, and Wii U!

 
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 07:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I see what you did there.


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ReeperTheSeeker
Joined: Aug 26 2007
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 07:40 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Damn you had me going there until the punchline. Seriously, i was starting to wonder where the hell you worked where they allowed a stoner to bring his dog to work.


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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 08:55 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I'm tempted to copy pasta this somewhere else and see what happens...



 
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
PostPosted: Aug 10 2009 09:31 pm Reply with quote Back to top

1-UP Awesome post.


militarysignatures.com

William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

 
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Chile Guy
Title: Token Latino Otaku
Joined: Apr 14 2008
Location: Fortaleza, Brazil
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 08:01 am Reply with quote Back to top

Copypasta from /b/, or was that from another site?


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eddieh4444
Title: Doctor of Science
Joined: Jun 11 2007
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 11:53 am Reply with quote Back to top

Chile Guy wrote:
Copypasta from /b/, or was that from another site?

Another site. I laughed sooo hard when I read the punchline, figured everyone here would get a kick out of it too.
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asbestos_pie
Title: Your mom.
Joined: Aug 03 2009
Location: Wisconsin
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 02:01 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That was quality.


Look at the controller
A Nazi with a social degree
A middle-class hero
A rapist with your eyes on me!
 
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Dorkus
Joined: Jul 19 2009
Location: England
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 05:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That was awesome as, like others have said, I didn't catch on until the punchline. Good stuff! 1-UP

And Velma actually WAS hotter than Daphne in the movie versions, although it wasn't as blatant as in the Flintstones movie where Betty was played by fucking Rosie O'Donnell.
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Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 06:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dorkus wrote:
blatant as in the Flintstones movie where Betty was played by fucking Rosie O'Donnell.

That pissed me off. Seriously. Who thought "You know Rosie would be perfect for this part"?


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Chile Guy
Title: Token Latino Otaku
Joined: Apr 14 2008
Location: Fortaleza, Brazil
PostPosted: Aug 11 2009 08:43 pm Reply with quote Back to top

eddieh4444 wrote:
Chile Guy wrote:
Copypasta from /b/, or was that from another site?

Another site. I laughed sooo hard when I read the punchline, figured everyone here would get a kick out of it too.

Ah, okay. That's because there's at least 4 threads on /b/ everyday with that. Still good, though.


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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
PostPosted: Aug 12 2009 12:15 am Reply with quote Back to top

Douche McCallister wrote:
Dorkus wrote:
blatant as in the Flintstones movie where Betty was played by fucking Rosie O'Donnell.

That pissed me off. Seriously. Who thought "You know Rosie would be perfect for this part"?

honestly. it would be like rosie was 3-4 betty's together.


Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load

 
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Char Aznable
Title: Char Classic™
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Aug 12 2009 02:06 am Reply with quote Back to top

All I know is that Velma's tits are WAAAAY bigger than Daphne's.


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