Poll :: He's your only shot at keeping your teeth!
George Washington (tough, experienced and already has no teeth!)
6%
[ 2 ]
Thomas Jefferson (crafty but broke, you pay the bar bill)
0%
[ 0 ]
Andrew Jackson (TOOK SHIT FOM NOBODY)
12%
[ 4 ]
Ulysses S. Grant (could drink AND fight)
3%
[ 1 ]
Teddy Roosevelt (Insanely tough bastard)
32%
[ 10 ]
Gerald Ford (Played college ball BEFORE pads)
0%
[ 0 ]
Ronald Reagan (Best shot at talking your way out of it)
3%
[ 1 ]
Taft (use as Shield, as he's so fuckin' fat)
0%
[ 0 ]
Lincoln (wrassler, long reach and could take a shot :O)
16%
[ 5 ]
Other
25%
[ 8 ]
Total Votes : 31
Author
Message
SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 03:58 pm
TheThunderThief wrote:
Having Jackson along is a sure way to have it turn from a bar fight into a murder scene, that and He'd probably be the one to start shit and you'll be the one to take care of his mess before you even get to enjoy one beer, sure he'll help you out but god help you if someone looks at him the wrong way, well actually, god help you if anyone just looks at him.
That is actually a very, very good point. Roosevelt actually had a sense of humor, and as much as he loved fighting, I don't get the sense he actually enjoyed killing for its own sake. It was a toss up in my mind between the two of them (after Adams), but that just broke the tie for me.
Now, if I was in a TRUE fight for my life, and not just a drunken brawl, I think I'd go with Jackson though.
William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Dorkus
Joined: Jul 19 2009
Location: England
Posts: 91
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 05:31 pm
Lincoln was a wrestler, so I gotta go with him. He'd lift someone up on his shoulders so I could climb onto the bar and hit the Doomsday Device. WHAM!
A double piledriver works just as well too.
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 08:21 pm
I pick Dr. Doom. Best American president ever. Waaaaaaaay better than Lex Luthor.
Bill Clinton. He'd do anything, and sleeping with big hairy women? Always a popular pass time at bars.
He'd do almost anything, except get drafted.
TheThunderThief
Joined: Jun 07 2009
Location: Ditka's Moustache
Posts: 415
Posted:
Jul 26 2009 12:58 am
I think people would want to wail on Slick Willie more than they would want to wail on you, so he'd be a good distraction while you GTFO of the vicinity, him or Jimmy Carter...man do I hate Jimmy Carter.
UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
Posted:
Jul 26 2009 01:27 am
Syd Lexia wrote:
I pick Dr. Doom. Best American president ever. Waaaaaaaay better than Lex Luthor.
Pretty much any former president would be an asset in a bar fight, since they all get Secret Service details who will step in at the first sign of trouble. So I pick George W. Bush, because I wanna see drunken college students try to step to him and get pistol-whipped. Plus, he's probably got some good stories. Finally, his patented Shoe Sense will thwart any projectile attacks.
Pretty much any former president would be an asset in a bar fight, since they all get Secret Service details who will step in at the first sign of trouble. So I pick George W. Bush, because I wanna see drunken college students try to step to him and get pistol-whipped. Plus, he's probably got some good stories. Finally, his patented Shoe Sense will thwart any projectile attacks.
Interestingly enough, Presidents no longer get lifetime Secret Service protection. Clinton will be the last one to have it, and from Dubya on, they only get it for 10 years.
Plus, most of the Presidents on the list are dead, so the protection contract has expired.
Bush is a Texan, though, and them's one kind of people you don't fuck with.
I think the protection should be lifetime, especially for men who have managed to evoke pure hatred from psychotic fringe groups like Bush and Obama have.
I suspect Reagan's Alzheimer's ruined lifetime Secret Service protection.
Chondra "Mrs. Claudio" Sanchez on Enshin a.k.a. Jake Strangiato wrote:
I really like this person.
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Jul 26 2009 06:35 pm
UsaSatsui wrote:
Plus, most of the Presidents on the list are dead, so the protection contract has expired.
Oh really now? So if I pick Lincoln, what exacty am I getting beside me in this bar fight? A ghost? A high level poltergeist? A zombie? A rotting fucking corpse?
No, of course not. I get whichever one of these guys I want, alive and in their prime, in the time period in which they lived. And I get the fucking Secret Service protection too.
No, of course not. I get whichever one of these guys I want, alive and in their prime, in the time period in which they lived. And I get the fucking Secret Service protection too.
I dunno, Zombie Lincoln was pretty badass in that Ultimate Showdown video.
And you're boned there too. The Secret Service wasn't founded until July 1865, just after Lincoln was killed (the legislation to create the SS was actually on his desk when he was shot). They also didn't start protecting Presidents until 1902...the agency was founded to help combat counterfeiting.
Geez. USS Grant FTW... No question... Always take the burly guy that knows his way around a bar fight...
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
Posted:
Jul 27 2009 11:00 am
Syd Lexia wrote:
Now someone please cry about how Obama isn't a poll option.
He isn't a former president, why would he be on here?
I would take George W. Bush. I would accept the fact that he wouldn't be the best fighter and I would get beaten to hell, but it would be worth it to watch him get beaten too.
Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
Posted:
Jul 27 2009 12:39 pm
GPFontaine wrote:
He isn't a former president, why would he be on here?
Syd's cover blown! Grassy knoll!
glycerine92
Joined: Dec 06 2008
Location: Pearland, TX
Posts: 88
Posted:
Jul 29 2009 02:16 am
Well, he isn't a former president YET. Current events beg for the change previously promised, but in a slightly different flavor.
^^^All genius^^^
Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
Posted:
Jul 29 2009 03:18 am
glycerine92 wrote:
Well, he isn't a former president YET. Current events beg for the change previously promised, but in a slightly different flavor.
Anyone who can't throw a baseball can't help out in a bar fight.
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
Posted:
Jul 29 2009 05:56 am
GPFontaine wrote:
Syd Lexia wrote:
Now someone please cry about how Obama isn't a poll option.
He isn't a former president, why would he be on here?
Well, there are dead guys on here, and as I've already said, dead guys can't help you in fight and they make even worse wingmen. But this is one of those "what if" situations. And since we're dealing in hypotheticals, why not deal in evitables? Obama will be a former president at some point. That is a certainty. Will it be 2012? Will it be 2016? Will they abolish presidential term limits and vote him in over and over again until he dies from old age or stress? No one knows.
