Poll :: He's your only shot at keeping your teeth!
George Washington (tough, experienced and already has no teeth!)
6%
[ 2 ]
Thomas Jefferson (crafty but broke, you pay the bar bill)
0%
[ 0 ]
Andrew Jackson (TOOK SHIT FOM NOBODY)
12%
[ 4 ]
Ulysses S. Grant (could drink AND fight)
3%
[ 1 ]
Teddy Roosevelt (Insanely tough bastard)
32%
[ 10 ]
Gerald Ford (Played college ball BEFORE pads)
0%
[ 0 ]
Ronald Reagan (Best shot at talking your way out of it)
3%
[ 1 ]
Taft (use as Shield, as he's so fuckin' fat)
0%
[ 0 ]
Lincoln (wrassler, long reach and could take a shot :O)
16%
[ 5 ]
Other
25%
[ 8 ]
Total Votes : 31
Author
Message
TheThunderThief
Joined: Jun 07 2009
Location: Ditka's Moustache
Posts: 415
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 12:26 am
I'm betting most of you guys say Theodore Roosevelt, but I'll take Jackson He was a total psycho, fearless, and a dirty fighter to boot, though I don't agree with him philosophically.
ETA:He'd get me into trouble, knowing him he'd probably kill everybody in the bar, then scalp them and wear the aforementioned scalps
He was allegedly pretty physically imposing at 6Ft4ish 220 lbs and strong as well.
SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 01:13 am
While Teddy or Jackson would both be awesome, I have to go with my boy John Adams. Not only did he carry a big stick like both Jackson and Roosevelt, he was the best damn lawyer in the country. Je (rightfully) got the British soldiers who perpetrated the Boston 'masacre' off the hook, in spite of the everyone else calling for their heads.
What I'm saying is, I'll handle the fight and if/when I get my ass handed to me, Adams and I will sue the bastards into next year.
For straight up fighting though, I'd have to go with Teddy Roosevelt. I mean duh.
William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
TheThunderThief
Joined: Jun 07 2009
Location: Ditka's Moustache
Posts: 415
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 01:24 am
Jefferson is the only President I know of who ever summarily executed a traitor on the White House lawn. By gut shooting him and letting him bleed to death for hours. No shit.
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 01:35 am
Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3112
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 02:14 am
FDR. Dude had polio but would stand up without his crutches for hours at a time, so the dude is just tough.
So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind.
SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 02:23 am
I did not know that about FDR. Could the Roosevelts get any more badass, if they tried?
William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
Posts: 2739
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 02:41 am
One would think that with the cracked fandom on this board more people would have chosen the Illinois giant, but yeah you can't go wrong with Teddy. Andrew Jackson is also a good choice. It becomes readily apparent that we had a good selection of presidents that could inflict some serious pain, which is why I think the presidential wreslting federation is a great idea.
Why in the hell would you choose the cripple, and lets face it nobody is voting for the doddering actor unless they're being obstinate or Cattivo, who is expected to vote with his avatar.
docinsano
Title: Boner King
Joined: Jan 08 2008
Location: Mpls Mini Soda
Posts: 2314
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 02:41 am
I said other. I'd choose JFK. He's Irish so you know he can drink and fight and if all else fails, you've got the Irish mob on your side.
Lincoln had a crazy bitch wife, so you have to factor in a good deal of simmering rage. He also may have been gay, but I'm not sure if that is a plus or a minus in this hypothetical fight....
.... After considering all the facts, I'm sure it would be a plus. Nobody wants to fight a large, lanky, angry, former lumberjack homo lawyer. Nobody.
Win or lose, you're going to get sodomized, and Honest Abe is going to enjoy it.
Lady_Satine
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
Posts: 7287
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 03:07 am
Bully! That is all.
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
TheThunderThief
Joined: Jun 07 2009
Location: Ditka's Moustache
Posts: 415
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 03:34 am
One day a man pulled a pistol on President Andrew Jackson, and pulled the trigger.
It didn't fire.
He then quickly retrieved the second pistol he carried for just this reason, pointed it at President Jackson, and pulled the trigger.
It didn't fire either.
The odds of two misfires are astronomical. One might say that, perhaps, God was looking out for Andrew Jackson that day.
But instead of puzzling over this, Jackson lifted his cane to the sky and BEAT THE MOTHER FUCKER TO WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE.
The pistols were retrieved, inspected, and found to be in perfectly functional order. It's said that they didn't fire because the very guns were scared of him, and knew of the wrath their possessor soon discovered.
Teddy Roosevelt resigned his position as Secretary of the Navy so he could fight in the Spanish American War. The same TR took a bullet in the chest, and then went to a political rally and gave his speech before seeking medical treatment The same TR who as police commissioner of New York would ride his BICYCLE into the toughest parts of town at midnight to see what the cops and locals were up to.
UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 03:49 am
Quote:
The same TR took a bullet in the chest, and then went to a political rally and gave his speech before seeking medical treatment
Supposedly the copy of the speech in his pocket is what saved him.
George Washington was a fucking beast, I gotta go with the man who fucking invented America. Teddy would be a good choice but Georgy boy seems more well rounded in qualities. Nobody would mess with Teddy because you knew the guy was crazy, but nobody would mess with George because he was a badass who'd fuck your world up.
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"
Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3112
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 06:34 am
UsaSatsui wrote:
Quote:
The same TR took a bullet in the chest, and then went to a political rally and gave his speech before seeking medical treatment
Supposedly the copy of the speech in his pocket is what saved him.
Yeah, pays to be long-winded sometimes.
So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind.
Dii Infer
Title: Boobie Engineer
Joined: Jun 01 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 653
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 11:26 am
Andrew Jackson was a tough guy, but I doubt I would get along with him in terms of being friends and/or political thinking. I think I would have more in common with Teddy, and that man could put up a fight! I pick Teddy, although George Washington is awesome too.
It would be funny to see Obama get in a fight because he would probably get his ass kicked, but my ass would most likely get beat too if I don't quickly become friends with the guys who hurt him. So, the bad would outweigh the good in my case.
Teddy it is!
sig
Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 12:40 pm
Former WWF president Gorilla Monsoon
Dr. Jeebus
Moderator
Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 5228
Posted:
Jul 25 2009 01:09 pm
Teddy Roosevelt, all the way. Roosevelt is the Goddamn Batman. (There's a documentary about it and everything!)
Having Jackson along is a sure way to have it turn from a bar fight into a murder scene, that and He'd probably be the one to start shit and you'll be the one to take care of his mess before you even get to enjoy one beer, sure he'll help you out but god help you if someone looks at him the wrong way, well actually, god help you if anyone just looks at him.
