Black Zarak wrote:

Apparently, that space rock that Megatron flies to that has The Fallen and the Deceptibaby pods on it is supposed to be The Nemesis, originally a Decepticon warship mentioned in G1 and Beast Wars (the ship that Megatron raises and blasts the hell out of everything with towards the end of the series for those with sharp memories) which would have quelled all my questions about it and The Fallen's sudden appearance if they had MENTIONED IT IN ANY FUCKING WAY AT ALL. It would make sense that the Decepticon flagship would hold back at the edge of our solar system while the Decepticons in the first movie went to attempt to revive Megatron. And it would make sense that The Fallen would remain aboard and wait instead of rushing down. But since the ship looks more like a rock and there is no dialog mentioning what it is or even a line of location establishing text, I had no idea what it was.

Note how you argue "would make sense" in a michael bay movie. If any of his movies started to make sense, one of three things would be happening:

1) you have gone insane
2) Hell froze over
3) Bay actually gives a shit

While i agree with you 100% that Nemesis should have been mentioned, however bay has been trying his hardest to further his creation from any original cannon as much as possible. I have given up my expectations to see any more then a few nods, names and voice actors from the original series. Fuck, he has linkin park as the credit music, they are a good band but they are overused and really, do they have anything to do with transformers. plenty of modern bands have tried to cover the original transformer themes but bay still says "fuck it, lets just use someone everybody knows"

I really think bay is trying to piss off fanboys so they bitch about it and therefore free publicity for his crappy movie.

IceWarm wrote:

I've been watching this movie bit by bit on my computer, sorry but I refuse to give Hollywood any money for this crap. Here are my major gripes: That Decepticons can now be whatever the fuck they want. A female college student? What the fuck!? I liked in the cartoon because each one was a specific thing. Now they can change into whatever they want. Decepticons can materialize out of stuff now. All of the foul language, sex jokes, racially insensitive stuff and so on. The fact Transformers fighting in large cities is somehow covered up. John Turturro's ass and package How come Bumblebee didn't just kick that Decepticon girl out of the car and beat her/its ass? The college astrology professor The fact the military base that was supposed to be so secure was totally opposite. The All Spark piece in the bunker. If the All-Spark imprinted those directions on Sam couldn't the Decepticons just use the piece they took and get the directions out of that? Poor time-lapse. When Sam calls Megan Fox she flies out. And it seemed not five minutes later after Sam was running around campus that she showed up. It should have been night by the time she flew cross-country. Devastator looked like crap and was totally under-used. I could go on forever but there are so many problems and plot holes in this movie that is totally negates what little bit of good there is.

IceWarm, you basically listed everything i saw wrong with this movie. What's sad is it's not even 'So bad it's good', more like 'only good if you lie to yourself and shut your brain down' It's that kind of movie. There really is no reason to antagonize over this thing, it's what movies have become now, fast pace CGI fests with ADD plots and flashy action. Hollywood know's it can't do any better anymore so it just strugs and rolls with whatever is popular or was popular.

IceWarm wrote:

ReeperTheSeeker wrote: IceWarm wrote: I've been watching this movie bit by bit on my computer, sorry but I refuse to give Hollywood any money for this crap. Here are my major gripes: That Decepticons can now be whatever the fuck they want. A female college student? What the fuck!? I liked in the cartoon because each one was a specific thing. Now they can change into whatever they want. Decepticons can materialize out of stuff now. All of the foul language, sex jokes, racially insensitive stuff and so on. The fact Transformers fighting in large cities is somehow covered up. John Turturro's ass and package How come Bumblebee didn't just kick that Decepticon girl out of the car and beat her/its ass? The college astrology professor The fact the military base that was supposed to be so secure was totally opposite. The All Spark piece in the bunker. If the All-Spark imprinted those directions on Sam couldn't the Decepticons just use the piece they took and get the directions out of that? Poor time-lapse. When Sam calls Megan Fox she flies out. And it seemed not five minutes later after Sam was running around campus that she showed up. It should have been night by the time she flew cross-country. Devastator looked like crap and was totally under-used. I could go on forever but there are so many problems and plot holes in this movie that is totally negates what little bit of good there is. IceWarm, you basically listed everything i saw wrong with this movie. What's sad is it's not even 'So bad it's good', more like 'only good if you lie to yourself and shut your brain down' It's that kind of movie. There really is no reason to antagonize over this thing, it's what movies have become now, fast pace CGI fests with ADD plots and flashy action. Hollywood know's it can't do any better anymore so it just strugs and rolls with whatever is popular or was popular. I'm not even half-way through the movie yet. The Devastator thing I knew about because my friends told me about it and how it got beat down instantly...I truly hope they were under the spell that is Megan Fox. I don't even find her to be the bombshell Hollywood wants her to be. I'm still a Sandra Bullock guy to this day. I'll try to watch the rest of this. But if I can find that many flaws from the beginning to where I am now...I'm screwed!

Sandra Bullock > Megan Fox, Again, i cant argue with you

This movie must be bad, we're still talking about it

Ba'al wrote:

In all honesty, this movie doesn't deserve to be talked about, it should get no attention whatsoever. As THAT is what will make it guaranteed to fail. Similar to John Cena, people may hate him, but he still gets a reaction no matter what, so he'll always be there.

I'd say everyone who hated Transformers 2 just boycott Transformers 3. What do you think the reaction would be if guys like Ebert don't even bother reviewing the movie?

AtmanRyu wrote:

ReeperTheSeeker wrote: I'd say everyone who hated Transformers 2 just boycott Transformers 3. What do you think the reaction would be if guys like Ebert don't even bother reviewing the movie? That'd be fine and dandy, but there will be those that will lead the least common demoninator like him: Everyone's entitled to their opinion, yes, but the problem is that people like him fail to see the irony of calling anyone who hate this movie elitistic twats. You know what I realized a few weeks ago? This movie isn't bad. This movie isn't good. This movie is EVIL! Seriously, here we are, cutting each other's throats for liking/hating this movie, while Michael Bay is happily cashing in the big bucks at the end.

Fare Warning: This review does not get pretty towards the end:


Wow, Joe's review really started to piss me off right off the bat and i even like this guys game reviews, let me just type as i watch now:

The argument that only nameless characters die is true. Yes Joe can point out that sam and optimous did die at a certain point however they were resurrected by the end of the movie which omits the significances of their deaths completely.

"Bumblebee tore that puma to pieces” I’m sorry Joe, it was cool and all, but Ravage was by far the coolest transformer (at least decepticon) that graced this movie and to kill him off so he can’t come back to the 3rd movie pissed me off. I wanted Bumblebee to die so Ravage could be avenged. Fuck the Fallen, it’s Soundwave’s most loyal sidekick that needs revenge.

“Why wasn’t megatron disassembled?” Joe’s fantasy argument is bull. He fails to point out that Michael Bay’s impression of the military is that their a bunch of idiots (as evident in not just transformers but in many of his movies) that’s why megatron was still together, that and they needed him for the sequels. So in a way, Bay is making fun of the soldiers who die for their country every day, so in a way Bay is . . . well you know, that word Bush loved to use.

“Boring, are you out of your mind?” Yes, you are out of your mind, Joe, but I digress. It did get damn boring towards the end, it’s meer eye candy, a cinematic youtube poo, that only holds your attention rather then stimulate the senses. It wasn’t epic, it was just more shit blowing up that we’ve seen too many times to the point where even shit blowing up gets repetitive. The critic made a good point, if you seen one robot blow put, you will be hard press to deny that the rest blowing up the same IN THE SAME MOVIE. Ironically for me, the only death by the end of the movie that was not boring was ravage’s

“Explosions are never boring” not unless that is ALL the movie is capable of delivering, besides sex and race jokes. Yes, this movie desensitizes audiences to the awesomeness of explosions.

“Megan Fox in slow motion is never BOOORIIING” sorry Joe, but news flash:

MEGAN FOX DOES NOT HAVE THE TITS TO MAKE SLOW MOTION EROTIC!

“Someone needs to revoke this guys man card” Joe, just stalk Megan already. Don’t be hating on a man who would rather fuck a real woman then a plastic doll. Plus, we saw more of John T then Megan so, Care to talk about that?

“Cuz he is no longer like you and I” keep me out of this Joe. I don’t want to be part of your fantasy world. I love how your jumping to conclusions when not addressing anything else that would cause this critic to find this movie immature.

“He can no longer enjoy movies like the rest of us . . . it’s sad really.” Joe, the only reason I ‘enjoyed’ the movie is I turned my brain off and was made aware of the retarded parts (I-E, dogs humping, high moms, wheelie fucking Megan and John T’s Teepee.) Joe, how the fuck am I suppose to enjoy a movie when I have to be a robot and be made aware of the stupid movements to let it side. That’s not my idea of a enjoyable movie going experience.

“so anyone who likes this movie . . . makes them all idiots.” Say what you will about those ‘snobby critics’ Joe, but I went to the movie and was entertained (not in the way the film intended of course) But I still hate it, so does that make me a snob. I didn’t go all fan boy and point out what cannon this movies lacks, in fact, I’m pissed off because their were jokes that I’m too mature to really get or even like (such as DOGs FUCKing and Johnny’s dang) The movie would have been better off without them. If people like this movie then that’s fine, but people who hate this movie have valid reasons to. It’s the prime definition of Hollywood going down a spiral of low standards and mediocrity.

The only part of this shit fest I enjoyed and found funny was when the lead soldier was giving the CIA prick a lecture before throwing him out of the plane. It’s funny how this was the only moment I laughed, at this moment of subtle comedy when the rest are blunt byproducts of ‘American pie’ and ‘Roadtrip’ that have no place in a kids movie. That is what movies today lack, the subtle comedy instead of a ‘dick in speedo in your face’ bit.

You know I just love how Joe ignores the bad jokes that everyone else is focusing on. It’s as if even he knows he can’t defend those part of the movie so he just skips by them.

But hey, if America has devolved to resort to make blockbuster movies that feature frat boy jokes and shit blowing up every five seconds, then I’ll just skip the theater altogether and watch the old classics that still hold water today. This movie, by the grace of god will rot in fucking hell for all fucking eternity because it is the fucking vain of humanity.


Wow, Angry Joe brought out the worst in me. Angry Joe made me angry over Transformers 2. I apologies for that outbur-

FUCK YOU BAY, FIRST YOU RAPPED MY CHILD HOOD AND NOW YOU RAPPED MY EYES WITH YOUR RETARD PIECE OF FUCK SEQUAL!!!! JUST STOP! STOP MAKING MOVIES ALL TOGETHER, YOU SUCK AT IT!!!

Calm down . . . calm do-

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeebus! . . . breath breath . . .

You know what, thank you, AtmanRyu, and thank you Angry Joe, because of your words, I stand by my fellow Snarks, from those online like Spoony to those in ‘meatworld’ like Ebert.

The movies will rape our minds with their shitty plots and cheep thrills and jokes.

But we shall retaliate, by raping the movie back with our words. Long live the snark and may snarks everywhere feast! Bay, has given us an appetizer . . . and Transfomers 3 . . . shall be the main course!!!!