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JimmyLazer
Title: Always bored
Joined: Feb 07 2009
Location: Philly, PA
Posts: 216
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Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
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This is precisely why you don't mix ginourmous predators with small children. As a father, I like snakes but I'd never dream of having a big or even moderately sized one in the same house as my two year old for that reason.
To give this a hilarious, semi-related spin-- my friend had a chihuahua. The chihuahua was snatched up by an owl and never seen again. Despite the fact that I feel bad when cute animals die, I couldn't help but lol about it.
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| Cracked.com wrote: |
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas. |
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MOGHARR
Title: The Original CandyWafer
Joined: Apr 05 2007
Location: Under Jolly Roger
Posts: 2718
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| Undeath wrote: |
This is precisely why you don't mix ginourmous predators with small children. As a father, I like snakes but I'd never dream of having a big or even moderately sized one in the same house as my two year old for that reason.
To give this a hilarious, semi-related spin-- my friend had a chihuahua. The chihuahua was snatched up by an owl and never seen again. Despite the fact that I feel bad when cute animals die, I couldn't help but lol about it. |
Well that's okay because Chihuahuas suck.
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"Well I don`t judge most things by graphics, reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games." Laminated Sky on Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker |
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._-1UP-_.
Title: NERD
Joined: Mar 23 2009
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 36
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| Undeath wrote: |
| To give this a hilarious, semi-related spin-- my friend had a chihuahua. The chihuahua was snatched up by an owl and never seen again. Despite the fact that I feel bad when cute animals die, I couldn't help but lol about it. |
Did you see it get grabbed? Or did your friend at least?
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MODULISTIC TERROR
A VAST SADISTIC FEAST
THE ONLY WAY TO EXIT
IS GOING PIECE BY PIECE! |
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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I guess the owl must have been in the mood for mexican food that day.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
Posts: 4098
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They say that at the rate people release them and increasingly warm temperatures around that area, Florida may soon have 16+ foot long pythons. They're already becoming serious pests and current generations are pushing the six and seven foot range.
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REVIEWS, LEGOS, NONSENSE Check out Zarak's Barracks!
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!" |
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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I'm more concerned about the population of old people in Florida. With their cars they kill a lot more people than pythons.
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Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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._-1UP-_.
Title: NERD
Joined: Mar 23 2009
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 36
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| Ice2SeeYou wrote: |
| I'm more concerned about the population of old people in Florida. With their cars they kill a lot more people than pythons. |
It might become as bad as that one South Park episode.
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MODULISTIC TERROR
A VAST SADISTIC FEAST
THE ONLY WAY TO EXIT
IS GOING PIECE BY PIECE! |
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Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
Posts: 2649
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Oh Florida, you never disappoint.
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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"Florida? But that's America's wang!"
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6113
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*Wince* Poor child.
I vividly remember a column Dave Barry once wrote about this exact phenomenon. Oddly enough, he of course lives in Florida. (This was from back in the early 90s, possibly even then 80s.) Can't find it online, but I did just read it in one of his book collections.
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| William Shakespeare wrote: |
| Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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I once strangled a child to death with my 24-inch pythons. That's what you get for trying to cut me in line for Skee Ball, brother!
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| I once strangled a child to death with my 24-inch pythons. That's what you get for trying to cut me in line for Skee Ball, brother! |
The arcades I went to always had ample Skee-ball lanes, so cutting was never an issue. But occasionally some motherfucker would try to take MY tickets. Then bad things happened.
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Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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I once faked like i was watching a kid play a game at chuck-e-cheeses and then held my hand over the ticket slot so he would thnk no tickets came out
oh to be 7 again
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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Man, I would love to play Skee-ball again but unfortunately I don't think there's any place I can play it where I won't look like a pedophile being there without kids of my own.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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You could loudly announce aloud Just here to play some skee ball folks, don't get the wrong idea, I'M NOT A PERVERT!, every now and then. Problem solved.
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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That actually sounds like a really fun idea.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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A bullhorn would make it even better.
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ChkChkBLAM
Title: Onomatopeabrain
Joined: Jul 07 2009
Location: Des Moines, IA
Posts: 71
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You could also try taking your horde of accumulated prize tickets way too seriously. Snarl at kids that look at them, rip them viciously out of the machine and put them in a safe place when Chuck E. Cheese gets too close to them (and swear loudly about rodents), keep a running tally about how many more tickets you need (and an estimated date of accumulating them) for that 40-key battery-powered Casio keyboard and mumble about it semi-coherently, swipe them from unsuspecting kids who have their backs turned, etc.
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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that's horrible
yet strangely it sounds like a good idea
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Undeath
Title: Facepuncher of Asses
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 608
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| Black Zarak wrote: |
| They say that at the rate people release them and increasingly warm temperatures around that area, Florida may soon have 16+ foot long pythons. They're already becoming serious pests and current generations are pushing the six and seven foot range. |
Yes, he saw the owl swoop down adn grab it. He was shocked at first but now kind of just laughs about it. The only actual heartbreaking thing about it was that it was his mom's dog, and a week later his mother died. Not of heartbreak, but meh.
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| Cracked.com wrote: |
"MARGARINE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM PLASTIC."
Not only is that not right, that's not even wrong. It's a meaningless statement. Saying something is "one molecule away" from plastic is like saying a farm is one letter away from a fart. Water is "one molecule away" from being explosive hydrogen gas. |
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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You know, just once I'd like to read a headline that says "Small child chokes chicken."
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There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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