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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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Well, MSN made a five worst controllers list.
So, is it a good list, bad list, or something else?
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
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List is all a matter of taste, but why in the hell did they make it span several pages like that?
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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| -bjork- wrote: |
| List is all a matter of taste, but why in the hell did they make it span several pages like that? |
Hmm, no clue, Bjork. No clue. . .
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Because more pageviews per user = more advertising revenue.
Not a bad list. I had actually been thinking about the worst controller flaws the other day. Here are some controller issues that piss me off:
1. Odyssey-2. On the early models, the controllers plugged into this system, thus making a broken control easy to replace. After the initial production run, someone decided to hardwire the controllers to the console. A few other 70s/early 80s consoles did this too, then they realized it was fucking stupid. Odyssey-2 might have actually been the last console to do this, but I'm not sure. Knyte can look up.
2. Dreamcast. Who in the fuck decided that the wire should connect to the bottom of the controller instead of the top? This irritates me to no end, because it constantly gets in the fucking way. I know it's partially because of the VMU that this decision was made, but they could have found a way around it.
3. N64. The analog stick on these controllers were shit. After prolonged use, the stick would grind away at its base, becoming noticeably less responsive and leaving a chalky residue. And as if it wasn't bad enough the controls were prone to breaking, Nintendo SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED GAMES to break the controllers. Most notably, fighting Bowser in Mario 64 required you to spin the analog stick like a madman, severely hurting your controller in the process. Even worse was the Mecha Fly Guy you can buy in the original Mario Party, where the whole point was to see how many times you could spin the analog stick in a minute.
4. Sega Genesis. The three-button controller was somewhat innovative when it first came out, but Nintendo quickly shit on that with its far superior SNES controller. The fact that the three-button controller wasn't completely phased out when Sega debuted the six-button controller is shameful and obnoxious.
5. Any arcade game that used a trackball. Fuck trackballs.
6. Any old school console where all you got was one button and a joystick. It's really sad that developers thought this was going to be all we'd need. Just because it worked for a lot of popular arcade machines in the 70s and 80s didn't mean it would work for every game ever. More buttons = more possibilities.
7. The original Xbox controller. Did it need that giant fucking XBox logo on it? No, of course it did't. Fucking idiots.
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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I have to admit, Syd, I kinda like your list better. I especially liked your comments on the N64 controller.
| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| Odyssey-2 might have actually been the last console to do this, but I'm not sure. Knyte can look up. |
Actually, the Famicom did that too. Thankfully, that only happened in Japan. We got removable controllers in the US.
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3112
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I really don't understand all of the hate of the original Xbox controller. Next to the Dreamcast, I find it to be the most ergonomic, comfortable controller. My only big complaint about it is the bad D-Pad and the black/white buttons.
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 So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind. |
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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| Greg the White wrote: |
| I really don't understand all of the hate of the original Xbox controller. Next to the Dreamcast, I find it to be the most ergonomic, comfortable controller. My only big complaint about it is the bad D-Pad and the black/white buttons. |
Eh, I never had anything against the original XBOX controller. Sure, it was gigantic, but it still fit in my hands pretty well.
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Neutral-Bob
Title: Zarkin Frood
Joined: Aug 17 2006
Location: Casa Del Guapo
Posts: 964
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I remember the Master System controller. It was a bit weird but it wasn't that bad. Luckily I discovered that you could use a Genesis controller on it. The X-box controller wasn't that bad however I always sucked at fighting games whenever I tried to use it. The D-pad just felt odd to me for some reason.
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 "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S Lewis |
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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| Neutral-bob wrote: |
| I remember the Master System controller. It was a bit weird but it wasn't that bad. Luckily I discovered that you could use a Genesis controller on it. |
You can also use a Sega Genesis controller on an Atari 2600, but you probably already knew that.
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Neutral-Bob
Title: Zarkin Frood
Joined: Aug 17 2006
Location: Casa Del Guapo
Posts: 964
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Yup, I had to when I first got an Atari a few years back. I had played them before but the one I purchased came with controllers that didn't work. I always wondered though, is the controller/port design for the Genesis, Atari, and Master System similar because of coincidence or a reason that's a little more technical? I never really figured that one out. Either way I loved experimenting with controllers when I was a kid.
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 "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S Lewis |
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
Posts: 2131
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As a 10-11 year old, I hated the original XBOX controller, for a child, it was massive and did feel like a brick.
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 Lawyers, Guns and Money |
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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I was not expecting MSN to pick the XBOX controller. It almost validated the effort.
I actually think we are in for a new wave of terrible controllers. As the Wii Remote has had so much success, Microsoft and Sony are struggling to come up with better alternatives... you know that this will end badly for someone.
As for the worst controller... the Sega Genesis one never really fit right in my hands. Also, they should have switched to a 6-8 button controller half way through the life of the system.
Still... I can't put the blame on Atari for not getting that right with the Joystick + 1 button. New ideas are great because they are new. Nintendo decided to get away from the joystick and go to a gamepad. The birth of modern gaming began! It isn't Atari's fault. Nintendo just got it right.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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Atari 5200 controller has to win. Choosing the Power Glove on that list was a cop-out. If you're using non-standard controllers, though, the list is Power Glove, U-Force, and any three MadCatz controllers you choose.
While I would never call it a bad controller, I never got the hang of the NES Max. Nor of the Wiimote.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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| GPFontaine wrote: |
| Nintendo decided to get away from the joystick and go to a gamepad. The birth of modern gaming began! It isn't Atari's fault. Nintendo just got it right. |
Nintendo wasn't the first to deviate though. Intellevision's controller had a 10 button numeric keypad, three additional action buttons (technically four, but two were wired to the same circuit), and a weird directional disc thing that wasn't quite a D-pad, but certainly wasn't a joystick. There were others too, but Intellivision is arguably the most famous.
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Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
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I remember having a Trak-Ball that worked with my Commodore 64, and I tell you what: it was awkward for a lot of games, but you could totally dominate the high jump on Skate or Die! with that thing...
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Bouya
Title: Delinquent
Joined: Aug 15 2007
Location: Suzuran
Posts: 1443
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Optimist With Doubts
Title: Titlating
Joined: Dec 17 2007
Posts: 5042
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| Quote: |
| It is the first arcade game to simulate kancho, a childrens prank popular in Japan where the victim is sodomised in the anal region whilst distracted. |
The first! the first? There are others? This is something people do in japan...wtf ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Hahaha, kancho. I remember reading about that on the "I Am A Japanese Schoolteacher" column on Outpost Nine like a million years ago. Apparently now he's got his own site, GaijinSmash.net.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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Poorly conceived, perhaps. But still totally awesome.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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FIST BREAKER 5000!
Honestly, SBM and its sequel, which never got a North American release, are two of the first arcade machines I'd try to hunt down if I had the money. Later, I would be sued by T-Pain, who would break his hand while drunkenly trying to play SBM2 at a party at my house.
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Ice2SeeYou
Title: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Joined: Sep 28 2008
Location: South of Heaven
Posts: 1761
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LOL.....my local bowling alley had that. I would get pissed off at throwing gutterballs, then go play Sonic Blastman.
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 Sydlexia.com - Where miserable bastards meet to call each other retards. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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A local Chuck E. Cheese's rip-off called Bonkers had one, and there was a good five or six feet of open space in front of the machine, depending on foot traffic. Whenever possible, I would run, leap, and punch the sensor as hard as I could, hoping the extra momentum would help. It never did. Then again, I had no upper body strength whatsoever back then.
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Burt Reynolds
Title: Bentley Bear
Joined: Apr 07 2008
Location: California
Posts: 1399
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| 4. Sega Genesis. The three-button controller was somewhat innovative when it first came out, but Nintendo quickly shit on that with its far superior SNES controller. The fact that the three-button controller wasn't completely phased out when Sega debuted the six-button controller is shameful and obnoxious. |
Yeah I was always confused as to why the six-button never became the standard. 3-button wasn't bad, definitely better than NES, but the six button controller is easily my favorite controller of all time. Well the PS 2 and 3 are actually more intuitive and comfortable, but the 6 buttons all on the face of the controller for SF paired with the excellent d-pad made for a great controller.
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 Dances with Wolves 2 is gonna ROCK! |
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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As Usa said, 5200 should've won. The Power Glove not only wasn't a traditional controller, but it at least had a decent lifespan as well in comparison to the 5200's 24 hour lifepspan. The Jaguar controller was a good choice as well, that thing looks unwieldy as hell. The pause-button issue for the Master System seems to be more of a problem with the console itself, rather than the controller to me. I've never used an original Xbox controller, though I have large hands and could probably use it normally.
I don't see what's so bad about the original three-button Genesis/Mega Drive controller, I always thought it was decent. Then again I've been playing the damn thing since I was three or four years old, so I dunno. I will agree that the six-button Genesis/Mega Drive/Saturn controller would be much better for things that required more buttons, like fighting games which were a big craze back then, but the Genesis was released in 1989(Or 1988, if you're looking for the Japanese date), so you can't really blame Sega for not seeing it coming.
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