So instead of spamming everyone else's threads with my sad pathetic life, I'm just gonna rant here about my sad, pathetic life. Read on if you care, don't bother if you don't, I just need to get it out there.

So, it was a long weekend this past weekend here. Unfortunately, my long weekend started last Tuesday. Here's what it consisted of:

- Going to the States with my cousin Ryan and his girlfriend Chantal. She acts like a bitchy old lady, but it's a fun trip. We end the evening at the redneck bar.
- Going out with Ryan, Chantal, Chantal's friend Kyle, and two girls Kyle knows. The evening takes us through three different towns, sipping Polar Ice and Wildcat along the way, and ends up with me losing my $250 Guess glasses SOMEWHERE while making a complete asshole of myself.
- Spend Thursday in bed.
- Spend Friday wading through foot-deep mud puddles trying to find my glasses, to no avail. Head out to Carolin Mines to go camping with Ryan and our Aunt Sabrina and her husband Eric. Drink 2 Liters of paralyzer.
- Come back to town for my great aunt's birthday on Saturday. Find out that the great uncle I never knew about is a convicted pedophile and molested my mother. Drink another 2 liters of paralyzer.
- Ryan invites Chantal, along with her squad of idiots, to the campsite. He asks if I want to join in the vehicle of six people I hate. Sabrina and Eric are pissed off. They go see their friends camping nearby and I spend an hour alone by the fire.
- Find out that the girl at work who is apparently in love with me has a boyfriend now.
- Find out that my best friend, whom I tried dating until we mutually broke it off, yet still have feelings for, hooked up with a guy she really likes. Have a good cry.
- Find out that my other best buddy Kyla has a date. Wish her luck and request she doesn't abandon me like so many before.
- Realize I have to quit my job because of my back injury I attained there 3 weeks ago. I can't come back until I have $60 shoes I can't afford and a doctor's note basically saying my injury is now non-existant. But I have to stop screwing over my friends who are filling my shifts.

So yeah, thanks for reading, or not reading, whatever.

tl;dr- FML.

Yeah, shit got worse. My friend that I have feelings for, I guess things have been going on with this guy for weeks now and he's "awe-inspiring". Apparently I was a confused lapse of judgement. I left my house at around 12:30 and walked around town in the pouring rain til about 3 am. At around 2 am, I was standing outside of Wal-Mart and went to a place I haven't visited in almost 6 months. I almost ended it. I thought I was over depression, but I know now for sure that I'll be dealing with it forever.

So I'm going to get rid of some shit in my life. Lady Liquor's going bye-bye. She turns me into an entirely different human being than I want to be. The memories of Wednesday night fucking terrify me. We'll just say I had my Dark Phoenix saga and I'm all better.
I'm not going to hang out with my cousin and his girlfriend anymore. I'm afraid that they found the Ross they like and want to keep him around. And if Ryan's a real friend, he'll start hanging out with me, just the two of us.
Girls. It's clear that I can't handle rejection or heartbreak, so I'm going to avoid girls like the plague for at least a little while. It's nothing but fucking disappointment.
Finding out about my family brought back some deep-rooted fears I've always had of becoming a pedophile. I think I should see someone about that.
I feel so god-damned sick and I'm in so much God-damned pain, and it's been going on for weeks. I'm worried it could be something serious. I'm gonna go get checked out.
I'm just going to focus on music. No sex, no drugs, just rock n' roll. I'm jamming with my drummer tomorrow, and he might be bringing over a potential rhythm guitarist.
I applied for a new job. It's at Stream, a computer tech call centre. When I get the job and get my contract, I'll let you know if I'm working for Dell or HP, maybe you guys can call me . When I get the job, I'm going to spend all my money on musical equipment and...cosmetic things (piercings and tats).
It'll be better when I'm back in school.


I'm really I put this here guys, I just needed someone to talk to. I'm still more than happy to hear anyone else's thoughts on my dilemma. And thank you very much Burt.

God, Cracked is fantastic. They have a list for everything. Thanks Hawk. So yeah, I think I'm...ok with where I'm at today. Things are just shitty all over. I'll get through it, I have before. Sorry for this guys, and thanks a lot.

I do believe it is also known as Black Russian: Kahlua, Coke, Vodka, and Milk.

They do have it, but there's a lot of red tape, it's pretty dumb. And I'm pretty sure my manager hates me for applying for it.

Apparently it's a big deal for a company to deal with WCB. But yeah, I'm gonna quit today probably. I just want to make sure I have a file with WCB no matter what, in case I have an injury later on that aggravates my back.