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Posted: Dec 17 2006 03:14 pm

I thought it would be fun to see if I'm the only person to really fuck up when drunk. So, here's my story (I expect worse then this):

It all starts with about 1/2 quart of rum, 4 mudslide coolers, and 2 mixed drinks at a bar... next thing you know you're learning self-defense and tae kwon do from a guy who's been fighting competitively for 10 year... you may wonder where the bad comes in? Drunk girl being held down by hot drunk guy? The crushed and possibly bruised rib is the dumb moment... I can barely move today. I have so many bruises, my elbows are scratched from rolling around on the carpet, my knee has a bump on it (I cannot remember how that could've happened), and I just really feel like death!

Moral of the story: Being drunk does not make you invincible.

Any takers?

Posted: Dec 17 2006 03:30 pm

I wouldn't say this is a topper, but the first time I got drunk since I was really young was at my friend's 17th birthday party. I got "pass out and puke all over the inside of a tent" drunk. The thing is... I had the marching band Hometown Parade the next morning. I still made it and played the bells pretty well for being totally hungover. Many of my friends didn't make it that day though, even though I was much more drunk than they were.

Also, I have a friend who will basically fuck anything with a vagina when he's drunk. He's a decent looking guy... and my standards aren't incredibly high... but when he's drunk, he'll fuck people I don't even like looking at. Just thinking about some of them makes me feel drunk.

Posted: Dec 17 2006 03:50 pm

I asked one of my man friends on the internet to make out with me after I got home from getting shitfaced.

Posted: Dec 17 2006 11:41 pm

I drank tequila all night, watched a set of female twins from high school have a handstand contest. One of them wore a tube top and "fell out" of it, then began to bounce up and down laughing. I got motion sickness from staring at her tits and puked for 4 hours. Awesome.

The thing I really want to do while drunk one day (it's really a dream of mine, I'm not kidding) is to get plastered, put my pants around my ankles, stand next to the beirut table, scream "keep on rockin' in the free world!" and pass out through the table.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 02:10 am

S. McCracken wrote:

get plastered, put my pants around my ankles, stand next to the beirut table, scream "keep on rockin' in the free world!" and pass out through the table.

I think I can speak on behalf of the forum members when I say: "Please, keep your pants on. We didn't ask for this, and we didn't do anything wrong to deserve it!"

This Is A Joke

OR IS IT

Posted: Dec 18 2006 02:21 am

One time, my friend was really drunk and he decided it would be a good idea to lay down in the gutter, so I told him he was an idiot and was making a fool of himself, then I dragged him out. Then we got pizza Cool

One time I had like 2 beers and fell asleep at a party, then got in a fight and won while asleep.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 06:38 am

One time I was a party and I was wicked drunk and this girl was wearing a skirt and no underwear and I slipped on a banana peel and landed on her and we had sex.

She was all like "Hey! That's rape!"

And I was like "I'm sorry, it's the banana peel! I keep slipping!"

And then I went to jail for the next 20 years.

Did I mention this all happened when I was 2?

Posted: Dec 18 2006 07:32 am

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 11:54 am

I tried the banana peel trick at a party once and I got punched in the face. Of course, it's hard to fake slip on a banana peel... and it's probably also not cool that I was about 240 lbs falling into some 130-140 lb girl. After that, I retreated to the back room to play piano. Sad thing is, I wasn't even drunk yet.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 11:56 am

Rycona wrote:

I tried the banana peel trick at a party once and I got punched in the face. Of course, it's hard to fake slip on a banana peel... and it's probably also not cool that I was about 240 lbs falling into some 130-140 lb girl. After that, I retreated to the back room to play piano. Sad thing is, I wasn't even drunk yet.

What's sadder was she was a mannequin.

This Is A Joke

Posted: Dec 18 2006 12:10 pm

S. McCracken wrote:

Rycona wrote:

I tried the banana peel trick at a party once and I got punched in the face. Of course, it's hard to fake slip on a banana peel... and it's probably also not cool that I was about 240 lbs falling into some 130-140 lb girl. After that, I retreated to the back room to play piano. Sad thing is, I wasn't even drunk yet.

What's sadder was she was a mannequin.

This Is A Joke

A very cute mannequin.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 12:58 pm

Rycona wrote:

S. McCracken wrote:

Rycona wrote:

I tried the banana peel trick at a party once and I got punched in the face. Of course, it's hard to fake slip on a banana peel... and it's probably also not cool that I was about 240 lbs falling into some 130-140 lb girl. After that, I retreated to the back room to play piano. Sad thing is, I wasn't even drunk yet.

What's sadder was she was a mannequin.

This Is A Joke

A very cute mannequin.

Kim Cattrall?

Posted: Dec 18 2006 01:25 pm

S. McCracken wrote:

Rycona wrote:

S. McCracken wrote:

Rycona wrote:

I tried the banana peel trick at a party once and I got punched in the face. Of course, it's hard to fake slip on a banana peel... and it's probably also not cool that I was about 240 lbs falling into some 130-140 lb girl. After that, I retreated to the back room to play piano. Sad thing is, I wasn't even drunk yet.

What's sadder was she was a mannequin.

This Is A Joke

A very cute mannequin.

Kim Cattrall?

If from Star Trek VI, then that's a possibility.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 01:53 pm

Rycona wrote:

If from Star Trek VI, then that's a possibility.

No, I actually meant from the movie Mannequin. She is HOT in that one. She hardly resembles the hag she is now.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 03:53 pm

Man, I caught that on Comedy Central years back, but I don't reember a thing. Looks like I'll have to try and download it tonight. Didn't it also spawn sequels?

Posted: Dec 18 2006 04:04 pm

Rycona wrote:

Man, I caught that on Comedy Central years back, but I don't reember a thing. Looks like I'll have to try and download it tonight. Didn't it also spawn sequels?

Yeah, there was one that I know of. It was infinitely more terrible.

Posted: Dec 18 2006 04:56 pm

NOOOOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOOOOOOW!!!!