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Posted: May 03 2009 08:43 pm

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Can't say I'm surprised.

This is the poised to be the worst year for blockbusters EVER.

Posted: May 03 2009 09:13 pm

I figured something like this would happen. After watching G.I. Joe Resolute my interest in this movie went up slightly but I'll probably just wait for the DVD. Some of the casting choices also pissed me off for this movie. Sienna Miller, really? I can't really stand her. And don't get me started on Cobra Commander, the action figure looked totally lame.

Posted: May 03 2009 09:58 pm

Resolute has nothing to do with the terrible live action movie though. But it's fun to pretend that Resolute was the actual movie and ignore the live action one...

Posted: May 03 2009 10:11 pm

Black Zarak wrote:

Resolute has nothing to do with the terrible live action movie though. But it's fun to pretend that Resolute was the actual movie and ignore the live action one...

I know Resolute is completely different than the live action one but it still got my interest up slightly. If only they put the same amount of effort into the live action film as they did Resolute then it would probably be good. Oh well, Hollywood has ruined another show from my childhood.

Posted: May 03 2009 10:34 pm

Totally, Resolute was pretty badass. Whereas the actual movie is like an X-men wanna be

Edit: I actually just saw the trailer too and all I can say is that the people who made this movie have no idea what G.I. Joe is about at all.

Posted: May 04 2009 12:13 am

I just watched it as well. The Baroness looks terrible. Destro sounds stupid. The actor couldn't even try to do Destro's accent? The "We answer to no one" thing was stupid. The costume design is atrocious. I loved how in the cartoons that each member of G.I. Joe had a costume that sort of reflected their personality and/or specialty. The ones in this movie all look generic and look identical. I'm with Syd on how 2009 is looking to be the worst year ever for these kind of movies.

Posted: May 04 2009 01:17 am

And why the fuck do they have power armor, sorry, "accelerator suits"?

And why did Cobra steal those drill transports that Shredder and Krang used?

And no mention of Cobra itself anywhere in the trailer, it's all Destro and M.A.R.S. (even though knowing how Cobra Commander looks, it might be better off without mentioning Cobra...)

God, you know what I bet will happen? Destro will be horribly injured somehow and be "reborn" as Cobra Commander...

Posted: May 04 2009 01:50 am

Black Zarak wrote:

God, you know what I bet will happen? Destro will be horribly injured somehow and be "reborn" as Cobra Commander...

I hope not, that would be beyond lame. Destro just wears that mask/helmet as protection. Its not because he got injured or anything. But leave it to Hollywood to fuck something like that up.

Posted: May 04 2009 01:53 am

Family tradition too; Destro's daddy wore the mask and so did his daddy and his daddy. And Destro's son dons it in the comics at one point.

Posted: May 04 2009 06:22 am

I will laugh so hard if the movie actually turns out to be fucking amazing.

EDIT: Just saw the trailer. Yeah, I take that back. Baroness looks gay, Scarlett looks gay, Duke looks gay, Storm Shadow looks gay, those suits are SUPER gay, Destro is weak, Hawk is awesome, Snake Eyes is awesome, everything else in that trailer looks gay. But it's got BIG ACTION, and some national monument being destroyed so....fuck you Micheal Bay. Fuck you so hard.

Now I know that this movie will suck. And knowing is half the battle.

Posted: May 04 2009 06:32 am

Yeah, the shot of the Eiffel Tower being destroyed isn't at all impressive. Team America already did that.

It hurts my brain that a bad action movie is taking visual cues from a parody of bad action movies.

Posted: May 04 2009 06:33 am

Micheal Bay can go eat Uwe Boll's asshole.

Joined: Apr 14 2006 Location: Lake Michigan Posts: 3332

Syd Lexia wrote:

Yeah, the shot of the Eiffel Tower being destroyed isn't at all impressive. Team America already did that.

It hurts my brain that a bad action movie is taking visual cues from a parody of bad action movies.

Ha! That's exactly what I thought when I saw the preview last night.

Posted: May 04 2009 11:01 am

I propose we gather IRL, recruit some others for good measure and march on Hollywood ASAP.

Posted: May 04 2009 01:35 pm

Except we'll be dressed like real GI Joes. Fuck, I think I need to go buy a new figure today to make up for this bullshit.

Posted: May 04 2009 01:38 pm

We need to re-enact the beginning of the animated movie, flying into Hollywood in Trouble Bubbles and jetpacks and whatnot.

Posted: May 04 2009 01:42 pm

Crashing through the sky,
Comes a fearful cry!
CO-bra! co-BRA!
CO-bra! co-BRA!

Posted: May 04 2009 08:31 pm

It just pisses me the hell off that they probably won't stay one bit true to the cartoon. Destro without the proper accent? The casting of The Baroness. Let me guess she'll have a British accent too instead of her Russian one since Sienna Miller is British. Well she was born in New York but grew up in England. Nearly identical costumes, fuck you Hollywood.

Posted: May 04 2009 09:18 pm

Syd Lexia wrote:

Yeah, the shot of the Eiffel Tower being destroyed isn't at all impressive. Team America already did that.

And even then, Twisted Metal 2 did it before them.

Posted: May 04 2009 10:09 pm

Ross Rifle wrote:

Except we'll be dressed like real GI Joes. Fuck, I think I need to go buy a new figure today to make up for this bullshit.

While you're at it, go get a Jakks Sgt. Slaughter. He's nearly to scale.

Posted: Aug 04 2009 07:01 pm

Quote:

G.I. Joe will not be shown to Critics

LOS ANGELES – It's the biggest movie of the summer that practically no one has seen.

"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" opens Friday, but Paramount Pictures isn't screening the blockbuster for critics beforehand. Only a select few writers from blogs and movie Web sites have seen it for review — such as Harry Knowles, the self-professed "Head Geek" from Ain't It Cool News — and their opinions have been mostly positive.

Instead, the studio says it's intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles. Paramount held a screening Friday for 1,000 military service members and their families at Andrews Air Force Base; it's also focusing marketing efforts in places like Kansas City, Charlotte, N.C., and Columbus, Ohio.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090804/ap_en_ot/us_film_gi_joe

Posted: Aug 04 2009 07:20 pm

Is there anyone's dick Harry Knowles WON'T suck?

Posted: Aug 04 2009 09:33 pm

I think it'll be average and It'll do ok.

And to be honest, what's the point of a review anymore? I mean a film critic can give me 1000 reasons why a movie sucks, but I could have the simplest mundane reason why I like said movie and why I'd tell him to go please play in traffic .

But an opinion is an opinion.

Smile

Posted: Aug 04 2009 10:18 pm

SpraCoalee wrote:

I think it'll be average and It'll do ok.

And to be honest, what's the point of a review anymore? I mean a film critic can give me 1000 reasons why a movie sucks, but I could have the simplest mundane reason why I like said movie and why I'd tell him to go please play in traffic .

But an opinion is an opinion.

Smile

i agree, but at the same time, its just a bad sign to not have a huge movie reviewed because you're afraid of bad press.

Joined: Mar 13 2009 Location: Arlington Posts: 467

I'm only watching this movie if it shows the creation of Serpentor v1.0 where he comes out as a horribly mutated beast and goes on a rampage. Anything short of this will result in total suck.