Its weird, I've had a loaded shotgun pointed directly at me, been stabbed in the foot, been in sketchy situations with the police, and I've been in three car crashes but I was never too freaked out. Maybe slightly but not as much as the various situations would demand.

You know what I am scared of? Zombies, I am totally freaked out by them. I don't want to be chewed and chomped by a bunch of smelly ill coordinated corpses, its something I am not looking forward too.

Everyone I know tells me, "well lucky for you they aren't real, huh?" but how do you know, have you ever seen one? Just cause the media doesn't report it doesn't mean it don't happen, I mean, come on it could, if they did tell us there would be pandemonium or something similarly spelled.

Watch the news, you ever notice those strange unsolved murders they report where a person, or persons, are found either murdered and all chewed up, or all with gunshot wounds to the head? The chewing murders could be the aftermath of the zombies, the shootings might be concerned citizens who know all about zombies taking things into their own hands and stopping the plague. Sure they'd say it was gang violence or a cannibalistic serial killer, but what if it wasn't?!

I'm really afraid that one day while cleaning my ears with Q tips I will slip and fall, jamming the Q tip into my ear canal and damaging my hearing, and possibly fucking up my inner ear balance thingy, and that a zombie attack will happen at roughly the same time, leaving me thrashing around on the floor holding my bleeding ear and most likely crying in pain like a pansy when the rotting undead break through and consume me in the bathroom.

Jesus jump roping Christ, I hope that NEVER EVER happens!

SoldierHawk wrote:

Q-tips are nothing compared to contact lenses. I used them for exactly 48 hours...

Why were you trying to clean your ear canal with contacts in the first place?

SoldierHawk wrote:

Blackout wrote: SoldierHawk wrote: Q-tips are nothing compared to contact lenses. I used them for exactly 48 hours... Why were you trying to clean your ear canal with contacts in the first place? What, don't the lenses reflect and amplify the sound back into your ear? Did my doctor lie?

That reminds me of the joke where the guy complains about the prostrate exam he just had, That guy is the worst dentist ever!

It was back when I was like 16 17ish, skipping school doing drugs all that bad stuff. (sober / responsible now I swear! )

So me and a friend were looking to buy some weed and had been trekking all over town in pursuit. We met this guy on the bus who said he knew a place so we went with him to his friends house.

When we get there his friend looks extremely familiar but I don't say anything. Now after the purchase these two jerks wanted us to stay and smoke a bowl with them, I didn't particularly want to because I bought my half of the sack for me not the assholes I bought it from, but I decided to stay anyway. So we starting matching bowls back and forth with these cats and I can't get the feeling out of my head that I'd seen this asshole somewhere before.

The house we were in was starting to creep me out, these two dudes apparently sat around with the shades pulled, smoking pot listening to ICP playing PS2 and cleaning their gun collection They're showing off their guns while we're all smoking and it's making me a bit nervous. The one that looks familiar finishes cleaning his shotgun, loads it and points it in my general direction by swiveling his chair towards me. Is he just facing me, or is this something more sinister? Am I just being high and paranoid?

A little unnerved already from the weed and creepy location I mention that he seems very familiar and ask him what school he went to. Long story short it's the asshole I got into a fight with back in school a few years ago and he blames me for the downward spiral his life supposedly took after the expulsion. While pointing the gun at me like an asshole.

He eventually put it down after talking a bunch of tough guy shit about how he's not a violent person anymore and is trying to be good and told me to get the fuck out of his house. I'm convinced to this day that it was some pansy ass tough guy bullshit he was pulling. If I ever see him walking down the street I'd be sorely tempted to run him over for being such a dick weed.

in closing, don't point guns like a macho douche, either throw a punch or sit the fuck down.

Naw what we need to do is find an offshore oil rig, fortifying a house is useless because if enough mass around it they can easily over run any concrete walls we've hastily erected. Plus the incessant moaning of the damned will starting getting to us and cause us to off ourselves or each other in frustration.