SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - I want to hear some funny and embarrassing shit!

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:04 pm

We all have them, moments in our life where we did something completely embarrassing. Whether it was within your control or not, it's usually pretty funny for somebody to witness.

Like the time you pissed yourself in grade school or the time your sister caught you masturbating or maybe the time you went out drinking the night before you had a 6 am flight to catch and your friends decided to draw a big penis on your forehead while you were passed out; and the only person who informed you there was an enormous cock on your forehead was the old lady sitting next to you on the plane.(That one may or may not have happened to me)

Fire away...

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:11 pm

I was in a rugby game and I bound up into a scrum. Well we assumed the engage position and as we made contact, not only did my shorts rip but so did my Underarmor, fully mooning the crowd and flashing my wang to the other team...

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:22 pm

One year in grade school I played on the basketball team. I was running late for a game so I threw on my jersey and shorts and got there. In the middle of the game my team was asking me why I had my shorts on backward.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:47 pm

I got tons of these. I was playing kickball in my friends backyard, he doesn't have a dog, I repeat he doesn't have a dog...I ran to catch an easy out, we were playing with the super hot neighborhood girl and her friends. I slipped on a diarhea patty left in the yard and fell in it. When I tried to get up I put my hand in it. Here I am covered in shit and my house is on the other side of the block, all the while everyone is laughing at my misfortune.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:55 pm

I have an entire blog full of funny/embarrassing stories. At least, they're funny to me and my friends. Usually, anytime I try to get a girl, madness ensues and I get a story about it. This one is kind of long (they all are, though), but it's my favorite to tell:
http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/2009/02/never-trust-pretty-face.html
Another:
http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/2009/02/1-800-fail.html
Thing is, I really don't get embarrassed, but those would definitely be embarrassing to most people. I think.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 10:59 pm

you wanna hear funny and embarrassing shit?

let me drink some milk and then go to the restroom at the IHOP.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 11:01 pm

username wrote:

you wanna hear funny and embarrassing shit?

let me drink some milk and then go to the restroom at the IHOP.

I don't get it. Did you throw it up?
EDIT: Ohhhh, I get it. Nevermind.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 11:23 pm

Due to an unfortunate case of dentinogenesis imperfecta I've had fake teeth for most of my adult life, and one night me and my buddies were throwing a house party and I had mustered up the courage to talk to one of the pretty girls that showed up.

She made a funny, I laughed uproariously, and my bottom plate disconnected from my jaw, flew across the table and landed in her lap, probably one of the lamest things to ever happen ever. Embarrassed

Posted: Feb 25 2009 11:29 pm

Blackout wrote:

Due to an unfortunate case of dentinogenesis imperfecta I've had fake teeth for most of my adult life, and one night me and my buddies were throwing a house party and I had mustered up the courage to talk to one of the pretty girls that showed up.

She made a funny, I laughed uproariously, and my bottom plate disconnected from my jaw, flew across the table and landed in her lap, probably one of the lamest things to ever happen ever. Embarrassed

wow, that sucks homie.

Posted: Feb 25 2009 11:30 pm

aww, buddy *hug*

Posted: Feb 26 2009 12:09 am

Age 7: I open the freezer, mistake a turkey burger for a pancake, put it in the toaster, and almost burn my house down.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 12:26 am

In 4th grade, my teacher was teaching the class about measurements, and all the students had their rulers out. I was sitting in front of the room with my bendy ruler. I don't know why, but I was grabbing the bottom end of the ruler with my hands, and I was resting my chin on the top side. I was like this for a few minutes, when I lifted my chin off the ruler, it launches right out of my hands, and nearly hits my teacher in the face.

How I didn't get in trouble for that, I have no idea.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 01:06 am

Douche McCallister wrote:

I got tons of these. I was playing kickball in my friends backyard, he doesn't have a dog, I repeat he doesn't have a dog...I ran to catch an easy out, we were playing with the super hot neighborhood girl and her friends. I slipped on a diarhea patty left in the yard and fell in it. When I tried to get up I put my hand in it. Here I am covered in shit and my house is on the other side of the block, all the while everyone is laughing at my misfortune.

I would of loved to have seen that.

In frosh week at University, Me and a friend of mine went to a toga party and we saw these two smokin hot blondes. They were wearing these pink toga/mini-skirt things which was fucking fantastic, so naturally we made our move and started talking to them and eventually started dancing with them for most of the night. During one of the songs my friend leans over and says "when do you want to get out of here?" and just as I replied with "as soon as we fuck these two chicks" the music cuts out for some reason and the entire party, including the two hot girls hears my genius line and starts laughing their ass's off. The girls proceed to the exit, which concluded my night.

The worst part about it is that they ended up living in the dorm across the street, which made for some very awkward moments throughout the year.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 01:25 am

TopShelf wrote:

Douche McCallister wrote:

I got tons of these. I was playing kickball in my friends backyard, he doesn't have a dog, I repeat he doesn't have a dog...I ran to catch an easy out, we were playing with the super hot neighborhood girl and her friends. I slipped on a diarhea patty left in the yard and fell in it. When I tried to get up I put my hand in it. Here I am covered in shit and my house is on the other side of the block, all the while everyone is laughing at my misfortune.

I would of loved to have seen that.

In frosh week at University, Me and a friend of mine went to a toga party and we saw these two smokin hot blondes. They were wearing these pink toga/mini-skirt things which was fucking fantastic, so naturally we made our move and started talking to them and eventually started dancing with them for most of the night. During one of the songs my friend leans over and says "when do you want to get out of here?" and just as I replied with "as soon as we fuck these two chicks" the music cuts out for some reason and the entire party, including the two hot girls hears my genius line and starts laughing their ass's off. The girls proceed to the exit, which concluded my night.

The worst part about it is that they ended up living in the dorm across the street, which made for some very awkward moments throughout the year.

Hahahaha, that is fucking golden.

I'll think of something and come back.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 01:43 am

TopShelf wrote:

Douche McCallister wrote:

I got tons of these. I was playing kickball in my friends backyard, he doesn't have a dog, I repeat he doesn't have a dog...I ran to catch an easy out, we were playing with the super hot neighborhood girl and her friends. I slipped on a diarhea patty left in the yard and fell in it. When I tried to get up I put my hand in it. Here I am covered in shit and my house is on the other side of the block, all the while everyone is laughing at my misfortune.

I would of loved to have seen that.

In frosh week at University, Me and a friend of mine went to a toga party and we saw these two smokin hot blondes. They were wearing these pink toga/mini-skirt things which was fucking fantastic, so naturally we made our move and started talking to them and eventually started dancing with them for most of the night. During one of the songs my friend leans over and says "when do you want to get out of here?" and just as I replied with "as soon as we fuck these two chicks" the music cuts out for some reason and the entire party, including the two hot girls hears my genius line and starts laughing their ass's off. The girls proceed to the exit, which concluded my night.

The worst part about it is that they ended up living in the dorm across the street, which made for some very awkward moments throughout the year.

i would imagine there would be less awkwardness after that party. but then again, i can be considered a jerk. or so i've heard.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 09:40 am

Blackout's story is hilarious. Kudos, sir.
I just remembered a story that isn't on my blog (yet) about some horrific fail with regard to asking out a girl. (I have a few more stories like that)
Short version:
1) I asked a girl out near Christmas by holding broccoli over my head as a substitute for mistletoe. I got the awkward "I don't want to hurt your feelings" laugh and got turned down. I laugh about it to this day.
2) Same girl: It was around Valentine's Day. I was sitting on top of a desk near the girl (we were friends, after all), when I overheard the girl saying she didn't have a Valentine this year. I promptly got so worked up that I swung around and promptly flipped over the desk busting ass and bringing the desk down with me. It was hilarious to all persons involved (myself included.)
I could post the long version if there's demand for it.

Joined: Apr 09 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3112

When I was little, I got a Tommy James CD. Without much context, I thought "hanky panky" meant that farting noise you make under your armpit. It took several years of awkward glances until somebody had to explain the situation to me.

Posted: Feb 26 2009 02:23 pm

Oh I have one.

So I was at a little get together, sweet talkin this girl a bit and she seemed kind of interested. A bit later she goes off and smokes some weed which I believe hurt her ability to think on the spot because I asked her for her number and her response was "*long pause....I forget it". I told her I thought she was lieing, I don't care how high you are, I have a hard time believing you forget what your number is, at least tell me "no" dont bullshit me.

Posted: Feb 27 2009 12:35 am

enshinkarateman wrote:

I could post the long version if there's demand for it.

Posted: Feb 27 2009 12:45 am

When I was growing up I was a big tomboy and was always playing with the boys. Needless to say, when I started to develop I absolutely refused to wear a bra...One day I was playing football with a bunch of guys including my biggest crush and I was really trying to act tough to impress him (Yeah yeah, I don't know where this backwards thinking was instilled in my head). I caught the ball and was tackled by the other team including my crush...I jumped up to show that the tackle didn't faze me but failed to recognize that my shirt was all the way up, tangled, some how...I stood there flashing everyone on the field until I realized why everyone was staring....Nothing worse than trying to be the tough tom boy after all the boys just got a long look at your boobies;(

Posted: Feb 27 2009 01:16 am

Chick Icarus wrote:

When I was growing up I was a big tomboy and was always playing with the boys. Needless to say, when I started to develop I absolutely refused to wear a bra...One day I was playing football with a bunch of guys including my biggest crush and I was really trying to act tough to impress him (Yeah yeah, I don't know where this backwards thinking was instilled in my head). I caught the ball and was tackled by the other team including my crush...I jumped up to show that the tackle didn't faze me but failed to recognize that my shirt was all the way up, tangled, some how...I stood there flashing everyone on the field until I realized why everyone was staring....Nothing worse than trying to be the tough tom boy after all the boys just got a long look at your boobies;(

Alright. I am not doing this because I want to, but because it will be done to death. So I am just getting a bit in first.

"Screw the other guys. THIS is the one I want to have seen."

T___T There.

Posted: Feb 27 2009 01:35 am

Chick Icarus wrote:

When I was growing up I was a big tomboy and was always playing with the boys. Needless to say, when I started to develop I absolutely refused to wear a bra...One day I was playing football with a bunch of guys including my biggest crush and I was really trying to act tough to impress him (Yeah yeah, I don't know where this backwards thinking was instilled in my head). I caught the ball and was tackled by the other team including my crush...I jumped up to show that the tackle didn't faze me but failed to recognize that my shirt was all the way up, tangled, some how...I stood there flashing everyone on the field until I realized why everyone was staring....Nothing worse than trying to be the tough tom boy after all the boys just got a long look at your boobies;(

I'll see that story, and raise lol. I was in theatre for four years in high school. Of course in theatre class everyone gets to know each other very well, and there isn't a lot of modesty between guys and girls, especially during the middle of a show.

Well, I was in "West Side Story" (playing Action, one of the Jets), and there was a super fast, full-costume change I had to pull off in something insane like two minutes. Well, there was a semi-isolated spot in a corner right by my costume rack which seemed like the perfect place to pull it off. So every night, I kept my back to the room, and did the change. At the end of the run, a bunch of us were out to dinner, and the question of shyness/modesty came up one way or another. At one point I said, "yeah, I guess I'm a fairly modest person." Everyone did a double take that I didn't understand. The rest of the conversation played out like this:

Me: ...what? What is it?

Friend: Um, you just seem like the last person who would say that. I mean, you don't get embarrassed about much.

Me: Well, I guess, but I don't really like getting undressed with other people around when I don't have to.

Friend: Then why have you flashed us every time you change for the entire run of the play?

Me: Wtf? I change with my back to the room for god's sake, which is more than some people do. What the hell are you talking about?

Friend: ...uh...you DO know there's a mirror on that wall you change in front of, right?

Me: Shocked

Yes, its true. Technically speaking I must have known there was a mirror there because I had been using that backstage area for years. But in the heat of the moment, it honestly didn't compute that I was inadvertently flashing the entire company every time I changed. So fucking retarded. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Feb 27 2009 02:26 am

One time, at summer camp, I was joking around with some counselors, and I asked if one of them would smash a smore into my face, and he did, and the picture was on the slideshow at the end of the week for everybody to see.

Posted: Feb 27 2009 11:32 am

OMG Soliderhawk!! That IS worse than mine by far!!!

Posted: Feb 27 2009 12:58 pm

Chick Icarus wrote:

OMG Soliderhawk!! That IS worse than mine by far!!!

Not worse necessarily, but far, far more retarded lol. Laughing