AKAFred> in all sorts of NES games... youre traveling through factories or buildings where people actually work and whatnot
<AKAFred> yet its fucking impossible to get around these places...
<AKAFred> how the hell do the people who work there get anything done?
<BlackZarak> i always think that abnout resident evil games
<UsaSatsui> In the NES games?
<BlackZarak> like how does anyone get around the police station or sewers of raccoon city?
<AKAFred> yeah the resident evil buildings are crazy
<UsaSatsui> That police station in RE2 always buggedme.
<BlackZarak> you need jewels, medallions that are broken in half, chees piece shaped keys
<AKAFred> hey sue, im gonna go get some pens from the supply closet
<BlackZarak> gimme the blue falcon medallion
<UsaSatsui> "I need to see the detective"
<AKAFred> can you come help me turn the statue in the fountain?
<AKAFred> and has anyone seen the green gem lately?
<BlackZarak> dammit, who lost the other half of the eagle medallion? how am i going to clean those dead gophers out of the sewer overflow pipes?
<AKAFred> well... with how half the people in those games talk
<AKAFred> is it any surprise that the architechts are all on crack?
<UsaSatsui> "Okay, go down that hall, get the Eagle Crest, run it up the stairs...oh, you gotta pull that lever behind the door on the right there to make the stairs appear, but you need a hammer to get it loose...then when you get to the third door on the left, use the Moon Key and chant the Sacred Verse of Yonkie."
<BlackZarak> i understand thats its supposed to keep people from finding the secrets but fuck
<UsaSatsui> "...Nevermind, I'll just leave a message"
<BlackZarak> you'll need the cipher to open the broom closet door, go arrange paintings of people from yougest to oldest and then look for it in the chimney flue...
<UsaSatsui> That explains it. The cops there are just antisocial fucks who never want to do any work.
<AKAFred> i can just imagine work orientation...
<BlackZarak> "just stay in the break room and never try to go anywhere..."
<AKAFred> but be mindful you dont order the peanuts from A3 in the vending machine
<AKAFred> unless you remember to push the statues over the poison gas vents
<UsaSatsui> "Okay, if anyone actually forgets the puzzle to open the bathroom...like you COULD...you just need to solve the riddle on the Medusa statue on the second floor and bam, you should have it"
<BlackZarak> you need a guidebook as thick as a phone book to find the bathroom
<BlackZarak> fun games but theres no way anyone in raccoon city got anything accomplished ever
<UsaSatsui> Seems the only ones who could get anyplace are the zombies.
<BlackZarak> yeah, no crystal jewel tiara puzzles for them
<AKAFred> no wonder so few people give a fuck about umbrella destroying it
<BlackZarak> and lickers have no trouble getting everywhere
<UsaSatsui> "Okay, this is the hidden storage vault. It was guarded by 2 keys, both carefully hidden. Nobody ever even knew about it until I just found it...
<AKAFred> 'what? those idiots with the stupid ass buildings? good let em all die'
<UsaSatsui> "...FUCK THERE'S ZOMBIES IN HERE TOO?"
<UsaSatsui> Maybe the zombies did all that shit.
<AKAFred> what... zombie redecorators?
<BlackZarak> woe be to the rookie cop who drops a jewel and it shatters
<UsaSatsui> "Oooo, lock it with the eagle crest. :
<BlackZarak> "you know how hard it is to come by rare emeralds that just happen to be shaped like dragon heads?"
<UsaSatsui> "WILSON! Did you drop the Green Gem?"
<AKAFred> go into the hospital... 'hi im here to see my friend, hes in room 220'
<AKAFred> well... i hope you know how to play the piano!
<AKAFred> and be mindful of the giant spider in 214
<BlackZarak> "i'd be chewing you out in my own office, but i can't find trhe golden lion head"
<AKAFred> oh and heres a question
<UsaSatsui> My supervisor has left early
<AKAFred> didnt in one of the games the zombie apocalypse just kind of happened overnight right?
<BlackZarak> "i think that giant plant growing up through the basement floor ate it"
<AKAFred> who had time to board up the windows in EVERY BUILDING?
<UsaSatsui> I think 2 o'clock is coming early.
<BlackZarak> sorta, i think it more caught people by surprise and they reacted with disbelief
<BlackZarak> a deadly mistake in a zombie outbreak
<UsaSatsui> Maybe they just didn't notice.
<BlackZarak> and there was worse than zombies roaming the streets at the time
<UsaSatsui> "Edna, what's that noise outside?" "Looks like zombies, Earl". "...Meh"
<AKAFred> another question too...
<BlackZarak> "just close the drapes"
<AKAFred> theres all these zombies that just rip you up and leave you there dead
<UsaSatsui> "Tell em we don't want any"
<AKAFred> but you never really see any bodies laying around...
<BlackZarak> "damn jehovahs witnesses..."