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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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I'll start.
Game reviewers who assume I have both the means, money, and time to acquire every fucking gaming system and game ever fucking made and base their reviews on that.
I don't care if a Wii game is a remake of a PS2 game or if the 360 and PS3 versions of the cross-platform release are better. I want to know if the game is fun to play, the controls are good, and there's some decent play length. Assume the Wii is the only console I currently own, because frankly, if your job is to review Wii games, it should be the only console you're playing. Stop trying to sell me other consoles in the middle of your fucking review. And stop being a jaded asshole and giving games a 40-60 rating when they deserve a solid 70.
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JRA
Joined: Sep 17 2007
Location: The Opium Trail
Posts: 3475
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
I'll start.
Game reviewers who assume I have both the means, money, and time to acquire every fucking gaming system and game ever fucking made and base their reviews on that.
I don't care if a Wii game is a remake of a PS2 game or if the 360 and PS3 versions of the cross-platform release are better. I want to know if the game is fun to play, the controls are good, and there's some decent play length. Assume the Wii is the only console I currently own, because frankly, if your job is to review Wii games, it should be the only console you're playing. Stop trying to sell me other consoles in the middle of your fucking review. And stop being a jaded asshole and giving games a 40-60 rating when they deserve a solid 70. |
Yea, this is solid. I always thought normal kids just picked their side (Nintendo, Sony, etc.) and then bitched to the other team on why their system sucks.
I just don't like absurdly difficult games. For instance Mega Man 9. No way in hell were the classic games as difficult as that.
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 There are a lot of what if's in life Donny. What if I hit you really hard in the face, knocked yo shit to the back of yo skull? What if I....had you girl gargle my nuts? The fact remains, you are a fuckin mutant. |
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Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
Posts: 1419
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Games where a totally helpless character follows you around for a portion of the game, and you die if they die.
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<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/ |
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JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
Posts: 6544
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I always hate when it's a horrible night to have a curse.
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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Unskippable cutscenes.
Excessively long cutscenes.
Passwords on games where a battery save was clearly an option.
Excessively tight time limits.
Knuckles.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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jprime
Title: Ex-GameWinners
Joined: Jan 27 2008
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 6720
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Missing a jump, even though I hit the jump button.
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
Posts: 6749
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Using the "We want to make the game more challenging" excuse for why they aren't enough save points, instead of admitting that they were just too lazy to code them.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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When the camera angle changes directly before or during a jump and you miss the platform because of it.
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Ba'al
Title: Zerg Zergling
Joined: Mar 02 2008
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2286
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Forcing you to play on higher difficulties to get farther in the single player game, without you having any knowledge of them going to pull that.
Bosses with cheap moves over superb A.I., examples being every SNK boss, Gill, and several others.
Unskippable cutscenes, as what's been said already. FFX comes to mind....
Unbalanced rosters, I'm looking at Tekken 4, SSBB, and Soulcalibur IV right now.
Girls with extremely high voices, prone to happen to Japanese games developed by pedophiles.
Probably others.
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Fernin
Title: Comic Author
Joined: Dec 12 2008
Posts: 1179
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Being forced to grind just to be able to play through an RPG normally.
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4637
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| ThatGuy wrote: |
| Games where a totally helpless character follows you around for a portion of the game, and you die if they die. |
Escort missions = FAIL. And I do know what game you're probably referring to, Silent Hill 2 (although other games are also guilty of this). See, they improved it in Silent Hill: Homecoming; when you have to escort Elle, she has near-unlimited health. She can basically take a hydrogen bomb to the face and live to tell the tale. Extreme.
You know what I really really REALLY REALLY hate? When an old Game Informer code section says that you can get an alternate ending to MGS2 by knocking out all the bosses as opposed to killing them, and you beat the game on six difficulties and net NO alternate ending whatsoever.
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3285
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I hate when people whine about piracy being wrong but they still go to Gamestop to buy used games. Either way the developers and publishers don't get money for the game, so what's the point?
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| i'll_bite_your_ear wrote: |
DarknessDeku is already assimilated by the bots.
He knows your algorithm. |
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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All I can come up with that hasn't been already been said is when a video game journalist bashes a good retro video game just because it's obscure or it was never really popular.
I'm looking at you, Gamedaily!
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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Xbox games that don't work on the 360 despite what the compatibility chart on the official website says.
The fact that my broken 360 disc drive will not read any games or dvds, but will read an old Xbox disc to inform me that it's not compatible with the 360, then it advises me to check the compatibility chart on the official website.
90% of the youtube help vidoes to fix the disc drive error are footage of morons slapping the 360 case with different tempos and rhythms insisting that if you hit it just right it will magically start working.
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Teralyx
Title: Master Exploder
Joined: Jun 04 2008
Location: Goldenrod City
Posts: 1419
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| Cameron wrote: |
| ThatGuy wrote: |
| Games where a totally helpless character follows you around for a portion of the game, and you die if they die. |
Escort missions = FAIL. And I do know what game you're probably referring to, Silent Hill 2 (although other games are also guilty of this). |
That and RE4. But not after she gets the knight costume!
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<TheFlamingSchnitzel> Didn't your mom teach you not to punch girls?
<FigNewton> I was too busy /punchin' her/ |
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16127
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the escort mission in FLASHBACK for the genesis wasnt too bad. probably the only one that i actually didnt mind doing
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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Cameron
Title: :O � O:
Joined: Feb 01 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4637
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When games like God Hand support negative stereotypes of minorities.
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Kojjiro!
Joined: Feb 16 2008
Posts: 832
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games wit shitty, practically useless main characters (hello mirrors edge)
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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Games with easily exploited glitches that make the game retardedly easy.
RE1 on the Wii is a good example of this. With Jill, there's a glitch that lets you dupe grenade shells. Once you know about it, you can't NOT use because the game ammo starves you, but it makes the mindlessly easy.
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DarknessDeku
Title: Deku Scrub
Joined: Dec 08 2007
Location: The Forest
Posts: 3285
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Alternate versions of games, especially games released in different countries.
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| i'll_bite_your_ear wrote: |
DarknessDeku is already assimilated by the bots.
He knows your algorithm. |
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Lottel
Title: of the Eternal BWOG
Joined: Sep 02 2008
Posts: 1123
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When game reviewers try to be funny instead of actually reviewing. They drag everything out to make some kind of joke at every turn. We get it. You want people to think you are funny for the ratings. Try being intelligent. That's pretty rare.
And this super pisses me off:
The fact that I have to hang my head low because I just happen to be a Sega fan. The fact that when I look at a game with Sonic on it with hope in my eye I am laughed at. When the guys at gamestop are bitching about Sega releasing another game.
When I play video games and I play a horrible game. I mean horrible. My jumps are off and everything. I turn it off and try again in a day or two and realize. Hey. I didn't suck at that game for a little bit. I just suck at the game.
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6106
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Personally, I hate games that force you to be an ubergamer to get all of the content. Don't get me wrong, I agree there should be a reward for beating a game on highest difficulty, but not all of us are good at every kind of game. And not all of us have the time, patience and dedication to master it on the highest difficulty. I don't feel like I should be cheated out of the "real" ending just because I can't do that. I mean, a special weapon/armor/whatever for winning on the highest difficulty is fine, but don't screw me out of the story because I don't have the time or inclination to play superhardcore mode anymore.
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| William Shakespeare wrote: |
| Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24882
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Unlocking the Master Levels in Super Monkey Ball. Fucking impossible.
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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| Lottel wrote: |
And this super pisses me off:
The fact that I have to hang my head low because I just happen to be a Sega fan. The fact that when I look at a game with Sonic on it with hope in my eye I am laughed at. When the guys at gamestop are bitching about Sega releasing another game.
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What?! When was it ever shameful to be a Sega fan? I always loved Sonic the Hedgehog so much, but so many people think he should he should die. So sad. . .
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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